Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

A version of this has been going around e-mail. I want to personally thank every soldier who has sacrificed so much to serve our country. To protect our freedoms, and keep America a safe place. To the families, thank you as well for sacrificing the time with your loved one. To the families of the fallen: thank you for your ultimate sacrifice. To the POW's and MIA's: You are NOT forgotten. God Bless You All.


Thank you to the American Soldier.



It is the VETERAN, not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion.



It is the VETERAN, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.



It is the VETERAN, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.



It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble.


It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN, not the politician, Who has given us the right to vote.
If you love your freedom, thank a vet. God Bless You, and God Bless America.

Photobucket

Sunday, May 30, 2010

99 Things

I found this blog hopping today, but the person I got it from got it from Jamee at A ew Kind of Normal. Though it looked kind of fun...not your typical meme!



1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visted Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone Rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo's David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Effel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone Whale Watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Save a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Publish a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Kissed a stanger at midnight on New Years Eve

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone's life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Gotten a tatoo

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

Now it's your turn! Copy and paste this to your blog, highlight YOUR answers, and then come back here and leave a comment with a link to your blog so we can check it out!

Have a wonderful Memorial Day tomorrow! Heartfelt thanks to all who serve and have served our country. God bless you!

Photobucket

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Updates and Plans For MG Awareness Month

It's been a long day. A few GREAT things first:

My treatment went amazingly well yesterday. It was the FIRST time in hundreds of treatments that I didn't even feel the needles. Not even a little. It was AWESOME!!

Secondly, my father (71, not in great health, has emphysema, diabetes and won't quit smoking) soared through knee surgery with flying colors. He's feeling better than he was before surgery.

Now, for a couple things I'm doing for June, which is National Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month. I am bombarding Associated Content (www.associatedcontent.com) with articles about MG. I'm going through my personal story as well. I would love for you to check it out...and view my articles! Just search for Kerri Sweeris on that website.

Secondly, my husband works for the city we live by. He told me to contact the City Manager to ask him about receiving a proclamation regarding June being National MG Awareness Month at a City Council meeting in June. This would be covered by the media, so that would be awesome!

I'll keep you posted!

Photobucket

Friday, May 28, 2010

Random Thoughts

1. I am so completely OCD. I can't stop doing a crossword puzzle until either it's done, or all the words going across match up in a straight line.

2. I was at the doctors office Wednesday and the front two table legs of their perfectly lovely evenly sided square coffee side table were tapered in from top to bottom. WHY?!?!??! I couldn't concentrate the entire visit.

3. Did you know you can walk a bumble bee? Catch them (Jacob had 3 in his butterfly house the other day), put them in the freezer for 10 minutes (this won't kill them, just slow 'em down a lot), and you can gently tie a string on them and take them for a walk as they come out of it.

4. The caterpillars that make beautiful butterflies are hideous. I think there's a life lesson in there somewhere.

5. Going to Ann Arbor today. Plasmapheresis. I've had somewhere around 300 plasmapheresis treatments in the past 10 years. Maybe more.

6. We went swimming for the first time this season last night. Jacob has grown about 5 inches since last summer, according to where the water hits him.

7. Our black lab thinks that our homemade duck pond is a fantastic swimming pool.

8. I completely overdid it yesterday, but this morning fell much better. Not 100%, but close to my "normal." (No comment from the peanut gallery).

9. I love to write more than anything else in the world. I'm a word nerd. Finding just right word for the right occasion, LOVE IT. Guess that's why I like to teach.

10. Blogging has opened up a whole new world to me, and I love it. I have met some amazing people. Some not so amazing, but overall it's been a hugely positive experience. I can totally be me, and most people get that. Very cool.

Hope everyone has a FANTASTIC Memorial Day weekend. Don't forget to thank a vet!!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Check

1 little boy fed. Check. {several times!}

3 dogs put outside. Check {several times!!}

4 loads of laundry washed, 3 dried, 2 folded, 1 untouched. Check.

Live ants ordered for our ant farm. Check.

Caterpillars examined, hypothesis written. Check. (We bought caterpillars through the mail that come in a little jar with "food" in it. After a while they make their chrysallis then we put them in a butterfly house until they come out. So today "we" wrote down our observations and formulated our hypothesis. Yes, my son is 3 1/2, yes he knows what a hypothesisis, and even gave correct one.)

Dining room and family room vacuumed. Check.

Dished washed. Check.

Eyes completey hosed. Check.

Neck getting super tired. Check.

Almost ready to collapse. Check.

Totally overdid it. Check.

Myasthenia gravis sucks. Check.

God is still good, and tomorrow is another day. Check.


Photobucket

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

M'k. So Joanna and I were at McTalking time last night Woot! Woot! (Bible study at McDonalds). First of all, we will NEVER go on a Tuesday night again...it's like FAMILY night or something, and people come with all their hooligans and do crafts and let them run around like animals. Not much in a restaurant bugs me more than that. This one monster was LOUD. I mean walls-shaking-everyone-turn-and-couldn't-help-but-stare loud. What are people thinking??? Obvisously they must not be!

Then there's the LOUD MOM. Another little monster was running back and forth through the restaurant. Completely out of control. Mommy dearest was screaming her fool head off. I looked at Joanna like, "People do realize we're in public? Inside? In the year 2010?" Bizarre.

There was also this tiny little girl with curly reddish hair and the bluest eyes. She looked like one of the babies on the Northern toilet paper packs they used to have. She and her big brother were there with Grandpa, and although she must have walked back and forth to get a drink like 34 times, she was a little mouse about it. She was SO stinkin' cute. Regardless. No more family nights for us in Timbuktu.

Today I had an appointment for a check on my diabetes. Up to Grand Rapids. Jacob was scheduled to go to Auntie Shawn's, thank God, because it was HOT. They ran though sprinklers most of the day, so he is currently passed out on the couch. Our air conditioner doesn't really work in the car, so Doug has to keep charging it. It worked fine this morning, but by this afternoon, not so much.

The down to Plainwell to go to the backcracker. Somewhere in there were Costco and Meijer also. I'm like a walking zombie. So tired. Eyes a wee bit messed up... just drooping like crazy. Heat effects MG probably more than any other outside influence other than stress. Stress is the WORST thing for me and my MG. Heat is second. As far as the stress thing goes: I have a workaholic husband (who loves me very much, but he's just always busy), several chronic illnesses to juggle, 25 pills (at least) per day to take, appointments to schedule (which I have to go to alone now since Doug won't take work off anymore)....not to mention 3 dogs and a very, very busy 3 1/2 year old. The list is endless.

And time management....That stresses me to the core. If ANYONE has this figured out, can you PLEASE fill me in? How do I get 24 hours of stuff done in 24 hours when I need to sleep for 8? Frustrating. But I know that's life for lots of folks...which is why I'm praying one of you will have an answer!!

It's been hot here. I mean HOT. I've never done heat exceptionally well, except for when I was a child, and was just in the pool 12 hours a day. We literally went from frost to 90 in less than a week. Welcome to Michigan!

I'm not sure what it is about the heat and MG...espeically humidity. When it's this hot, I walk outside, and everything in me from the brain down just says "I'm going to collapse now." And
me and my brain have to yell at my body to knock it off! Oh well. Tomorrow is supposed to be a little better, then this weekend, gorgeous.

Ann Arbor Friday for plasmapheresis, so that's my week. I'm one pooped pup.
Photobucket

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The GOOD Things About Having MG

Yup, you read that right. The GOOD things. Because there are plenty. And instead of whining about my eyes being messed up or my trach hurting or any number of myasthenia related issues that have plagued me, I will tell you some wonderful things I never would have experienced without this illness.

I learned that my husband is a man of strong character. He is faithful, trustworthy, loyal, Godly, a wonderful protector and provider. Six weeks after we were married I was in the hospital on a ventilator. No one knew (except God of course) whether I would live or die. Even though he is a Christian man, he could have just said, "I didn't sign up for this!" But he took his marriage vows seriously, in sickness or in health. He stands by me to this day. I love you honey.

I have met some amazing people that I never would have known without this disease connecting us. Two young ladies in particular, that I have just recently met, that I have connected with...(Their blog links are on my sidebar)...These women are amazing. They are strong. They both work, have families, and still manage this wicked disease. One prays for me. One has the patience of Job and is helping me with computer stuff that I just don't know how to do, AND made my signature and button. I just met her! I love ya girls!!

I learned that I am a lot stronger than I think. I always knew I was STUBBORN (like in the hospital....just too stubborn to die! : ), but I never realized the strength that God had given me. And I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten MG. It takes a lot more to keep going than it does to give up. Can I get an Amen??? (Joanna get out your hanky, girl, and start wavin'!) : )

I have deepened a few friendships to the point of KNOWING I could call either of these women in the middle of the night, and they would do whatever it took to help me. I can trust them both implicity with my precious child, and that speaks volumes. Joanna, Shawn, thank you. I love you both so much, and you are amazing, godly examples of loving one another. I don't know what I'd do without you!

My relationship with God is on a whole different level than it would have been. He showed me what it means to depend on Him. He has blessed me with things I can't even describe. I was able to share my story with a man who was chronically ill, had given up on God, and just hated life. He wanted to die and was not saved, according to his wife. She and a friend from the church I was attending at the time prayed for him daily. The friend asked me to pray as well. I sent this man a card to let him know I was praying for him. I was later told that when he got my card (I enclosed a picture of my son so he could SEE that miracles happen) he cried. He couldn't believe someone who didn't even know him cared enough to do that. His health did improve for a while, but he ended up passing away. And when he did, he knew the Lord, and was in heaven, praising God. To know that I had ANY teeny part in that, because of what God had given me to deal with....WOW. Every minute of suffering was worth that.

I have learned to appreciate life. I don't get angry like I used to. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy! I'm not nearly as impatient as I was, and things just don't get under my skin. I am in awe of the beauty that surronds me...God's magnificent creation. I really SEE it now, instead of just speeding through life with my head down, nose to the grindstone.

My son takes my breath away. I know I would love my child no matter what...but going through what I had to go through to have him makes me look at him, and just thank God he is in my life. Sometimes I watch him and think, how did I ever live my life without this little boy? He makes my heart just feel like it could burst inside me. It's so full, it's like it just can't hold anymore.

So I'm here to tell you....you may be going through hell right now. You may be thinking, I just CAN'T do this one. more. day. Oh, friends. I have been there. I have shed the tears. I have shaken my fists at God and railed at the heavens. But then those very fists have turned into open palms of praise, thanking God for who He is, and what He has done for me.

Photobucket

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Catching Up

I'm trying to get caught up....STILL! This year has been a bust, essentially. January was preparing for Florida. February was Florida....almost a total bust. March, April and May thus far have been me coughing and popping ribs. SERIOUSLY. Since we have been home, one of us, (Doug, Jacob or me) have been hurt or sick the. entire. time. Eighty percent has been me. Nice. HOWEVER...Praise the LORD that it's been over a week and NO RIBS OUT!!!! Whoo-Hooo!!!

So. Then Thursday I have this migraine from the pit of hell. I mean PIT. Ug. Pull-the-curtains-and-beg-everyone-to-be-quiet migraine. Almost-throw-up migraine. With a very active 3 1/2 year old and 3 dogs...not so much. Thankfully my dear friend Shawn came to pick Jacob up in the afternoon, and all the doggies took a nap, so I was able to sit in my nice, dark living room and very quietly watch a movie. At least I didn't have to have my sunglasses on this time. Curtains with the color name "espresso" help!

So June is Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month. I'm always debating what to do...I'm going to contact the local papers, and maybe churches. I'm terrified of calling the News because I DO NOT want to be on camera.

Anywho...I promise to be a better blogger!!! I should be inside a lot more this week because it's going to be hot, Hot, HOT! Which is not so good for the MG. High heat and humidity make me feel "unplugged." Yup, like someone literally unplugs me, and all my energy is gone... {sigh.} Oh, well. We'll make it.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Photobucket

Friday, May 21, 2010

Father's Day Craft Idea

I really don't have a reason for putting this picture up....it's just my favorite picture of Jacob...ever. I have a 5x7 of this picture on the bookcase right by the couch, and I see it 20 times a day. I just love it. That crazy hair. Those chubby cheeks...my little miracle!


ANYWHO....cute idea for Father's Day....A picture frame with nuts and washers and hardware type stuff. I'll post a picture as soon as I find it!!! (I've been looking for an hour and a half!!!)
I used a dollar store, wooden picture frame. So you'll need any wooden frame, and then some washers and nuts (bolts won't stick, too heavy), any flat, thin hardware.
Glue the nuts and washers and whatever to the wooden frame with a hot glue gun. If you don't have a hot glue gun, use super glue. Place them wherever you want on the frame...you can be random or organized, it's up to you.
Then, I took alphabet stickers and Put "Daddy" on the top center of the frame. If you have decent handwriting you could write or paint it on as well. Add a picture of your kids, or your kids with dad, and BAM! Adorable, inexpensive, heart-felt Father's day gift!
If your hubby isn't "handy" or the hardware just wouldn't be appropriate, you can use pretty much whatever...anything flat and not too heavy. You could use an old jigsaw puzzle and glue pieces all over, you could use popsicle sticks that your kids color, buttons, whatever.
Hopefully I'll find the photo of the one I made....
Happy Friday!

Photobucket

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I Am A Published Writer! (online)

Well, it's a start! I'm writing for Associated Content. Check out http://www.associatedcontent.com/

I applied to be a featured contributor so that I can write more specifically about MG. I've written and published two articles so far: one editorial about socialized medicine, and the other was an assignment I took about reviewing the American Idol show last night.

I'm so excited. I really want to be a freelance writer...I just don't know how to pursue it right now, but this website is HUGE. There are at least a million readers...will they all read MY articles? Of course not...BUT....It's a start! Especially if I can get the featured contributor thing. I'll keep you posted.

It's been a busy day....I'm doing some better, but my eyes are a bit wonky yet.
Hope everyone has a great night!

Photobucket

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mg Ups and DOWNS

So Sunday was a good day. Got up early, was able to curl my hair, get ready, go to church, come home, and bake a cake. VERY unusual.

Yesterday was a crappy day. Here's what I looked like by the end:
That's the "beauty" of this disease. One minute you're fine, the next, you have a droppy face that can't smile, double vision (thus the eye patch....whatdya think, do I make a good pirate or what? Arrr....) weak arms, legs, etc.
Still having issues with my back and ribs which is NOT helping. In a lot of pain...calling the neurologist today.
Whoo-Hoo.

Photobucket

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Really Cute Cake and Other Cute Pics

So I made this cake today for Doug and Jacob...it's supposed to look like a giant bowl of candy... But it's really a cake in there! I got it from Lindsay's Kitchen. My hubby's 2 FAVORITE candy bars are Kit Kat and M&M's. Okay, so technically M&M's aren't candy bars, but you know what I mean!


Anyway.....here's how it turned out....

Interesting, eh? I thought it was supposed to look like a giant cupcake, but it doesn't. It's kinda cute though!
Anywho....here's what we did this weekend:
Oh, and have you ever seen anyone use a rototiller IN a wheelbarrow????? Not me!



And finally, LOOK at this FACE!!!


Photobucket

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Frustration on the Homefront

Sheez.

So my hubby and I went to the chiropractor this morning (again for me.....just went yesterday to get my rib back in again)...my mom calls, and needs Doug to look are her toilet. It's leaking, she says. So....we drive up there.

On the way home, we have some time (45 minutes) so I ask him: "What is one thing that I could do, not like around the house or whatever, but personally, emotionally or whatever, that would make you feel more loved and respected?"

Who wouldn't LOVE to be asked that question?? I would. But that a whooooole other post.

So he says..."I dont' know...not around the house, huh?"

Now I know what's coming.

Me: Fine. Something around the house then. Other than keeping the table clean and doing the dishes.

Him: Well, you're kind of a slob. You leave crap all over the place and don't put things back when you use them....

Me (gritting my teeth and thinking, "I take care of a 3.5 year old with more energy in his little finger than I have in my whole body, plus I"m fighting this stupid disease every single minute of my life and you want the house spotless??? What planet are you from???)

"MMmm-Hmmm?"

Him: Well, maybe you could make dinner.

Me: (thinking again, after I'm with Jacob all day playing, schooling, whatever, dealing with MG, blah blah blah)

"Um, I could probably do that...Do you think then you could take Jacob when you get home so I can rest for a minute or use that time to make dinner without him and 3 dogs underfoot?"

Him: Sure, unless there's something I have to do that he can't do.

He's 3.5 for sh!t's sake!

So after going to the chiropractor, running up to my mom's, coming home and planting flowers for 2 hours, I had to make meatloaf, put that and potatoes in the oven, tripping over Jacob and 3 dogs, do the dishes, clear the table, and fill my pillbox...which takes forever.

And I'm exhausted. But that doesn't really matter to him.
Oh, the frustration!!!

Still waiting for him to ask me what HE could do......


Photobucket

Friday, May 14, 2010

Testing....

Courtney from me and my boys (see button on my sidebar) hooked me up with a signature too! She made my button on the sidebar...I'm gonna have to send that girl some cookies or something!

Thanks, woman!

Photobucket

Blah.

Hey all.

{crickets chirping}.

Anyone out there?

Today is just not a super day. I've had my rib belt/weight belt on 24/7 for like 6 days. Went back to the chiro today and the rib was starting to come out again! What the Heck?

Went shopping for a baby girl gift for my niece after my appointment. Made me bawl. Not so much the little girl stuff, just the baby stuff.

I know everyone goes through it, the "I want another baby phase"....but I'm not only sad, I'm angry. I'm angry that it was chosen for me how many children I could have. I'm going to be 40 in January. With my health the way it is, there's no way I want to go through another pregnancy, even if I DID survive it. I couldn't handle another baby in the NICU, so that's just out.

But Doug doesn't even want to discuss adoption (not in the positive anyway). That was the "deal" before I had Jacob. I'll have one naturally, then we adopt.

A few weeks ago I made the mistake of saying something at my in-laws house about hoping to adopt yet, and a few days later I got an earful about "what a terrible idea that is. I can't even handle Jacob why on earth do I think I could handle 2? Two are a lot more work...and they need care, and love, and attention....."

I'm like, no crap, Jack. I want to wait til Jacob's like 5, then get another 4 or 5 year old. Today Doug and I were talking about it briefly, and Jacob must have heard us. He came up to me and said "I want another child."

I know that nothing is impossible with God, and I am just praying that if He wills it, there will be a way. I just feel ripped off right now. I know that this disease has actually changed my life for the BETTER in a LOT of ways...the kind of person I am, how much I appreciate the little things, how I don't get angry at the drop of a hat anymore, a deeper relationship with God...

But it's taken away so much. My ability to sing...to have as many children as I'd like, to not be able to work at all, to not be able to keep my house up....

{Sigh}. Just a sad day today, I guess.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Time for a MEME!

I haven't done one of these in forever....so let's try one!

1. What's your favorite season, and why?

Mine is spring. Everything is new again. After all the snow and gray and brown yuck, the brilliant green of new grass and trees beginning to get their leaves refreshes me! The blooming flowers (even with my allergies!) are stunning.

2. If you could spend one day with anyone in history, living or dead, who would it be?

Have to be Jesus. I'd have SO many questions!

3. If money were no option, where would you vacation?

Colorado. Don't need anything fancy. The Rockies take my breath away.

4. If you could BE anyone in history, who would it be?

Martin Luther King Jr. He affected SO much change in this country. I tried to think of a woman I'd like to be, but he kept popping into my thoughts. What an amazing time in our history.

5. Tell us the story about a scar you have.

I have several from medical procedures due to being sick, but I'm most proud of my C-section scar. Jacob knows he came from my "tummy," and that the doctor opened Mommy like a present, and he was inside! The best gift of my life!

Now it's YOUR turn!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

More Randomness

Well, my rib is staying put. Thank GOD for that! I have to wear this weight belt until I get the rib belts I ordered, which are on the way. Ug. Shipping takes forever when you REALLY need something. I don't have the luxury, however, of "shopping around" to find what I need. So I make do with what can be found around here in the meantime. I tell ya, since I cut the straps off it's a lot more comfortable! And now I can wear it UNDER my clothes....if I wear a big shirt.
I get to spend the day with my BFF Joanna watching Beth Moore's Believing God DVD's. I was able to get them on e-bay for almost 1/2 the cost of new. YAY! It's gonna be a GREAT day!! It's just not the same study without the DVD's. I saw them 5 years ago when I did the study, but I am thrilled to have them to keep, because they are really good.
A couple of shout-outs: My new friend Jen (a fellow myasthenic mom) who had the courage to show some of her symptoms in this post. Great job, Jen! Thank you for taking the time to do this!
Thanks also to my new friend Courtney, another myasthenic mom I've connected to through blogging. She made my button on the sidebar, and is working on some other stuff for me! How cool is that! Just the letters "html" make me queasy....so this is a real gift to me!
My puppy is getting huge. Went to the vet yesterday for Blackie's check up, and his weight has DOUBLED in 3.5 weeks. We got him at 9.8 pounds, and he is now 18.2 pounds! He was WAY smaller than Molly when we got him; he could almost walk under her. NOW he is as TALL as she is! (Not as....rotund, but as tall!)
Jacob is wonderful, as usual....growing so much, and getting so "mature." He calls me "Mom" 90% of the time now. He's not even 4 yet! I thought "Mommy" lasted a long time! Ug. Heartbreaking. He is hilarious and brilliant and beautiful and sensitive and crazy. And I wouldn't change one thing about him. Especially now that he is potty-trained!!! {breaking out into the Hallelujah chorus}
So overall, it's been going pretty smoothly the last couple of days. Whoo-Hoo!!!!!!

Here's to YOU having an awesome day!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Roller Coaster. Really???

I've been MIA....sorry. Actually it would be MII. Missing in Inaction.

Friday was nice. Went to my mom's and had lunch with my sisters. I ate hummus. HUMMUS! I was telling Doug that my vegan sister was bringing hummus, and kinda laughing about it. What the heck is hummus?? Well, of course I had to try it....and I LOVE IT. Roasted red pepper hummus from Costco. Dang. Plus she made chocolate chip scones that were yummy too. Ghiradelli choc. chips and everything. Yum. Someone made the comment of me going vegan...I was like, I have a COW in my backyard!

So we had a nice time talking and catching up a little...and of course visiting my mom whose been gone for 5 months.

Saturday morning my back was hurting a little, and we had to go to town anyway to get some stuff, so we thought we'd swing by the chiroproactor on the way...yes, Saturday, and WALK-IN! We got right in,which I couldn't believe. After the adjustment, I had NO pain on my left side for the first time in months. I felt great.

So we continue on with our shopping, going to a few different stores...get home, I'm helping put stuff away...it's like a NORMAL day. Needless to say, it didn't stay that way long. I coughed ONCE. One little cough...not a long coughing jag, just one cough. POP! Rib out. Right where I had just been adjusted. Oh the pain. My adoring husband told me I need to learn how to control that because we can't just keep running to the doctor every five minutes. I was like, What the he!!? Control a spasmodic cough from having a trach and messed up lungs. Yah, I'll get right on that.

He apologized.

On Mother's Day I wished for a new back. Or a cure, or just to not be in pain for a while. Jacob wished for a new mom. Yup. It was a stellar weekend.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mg and Pregnancy-Part Five; The NICU

The moment I held my baby for the first time....time stood still. Nothing else mattered. It's as if the world faded away, and it was just me, and just him; this astounding little being that I had grown in my womb. I was overwhelmed with joy. Jacob Douglas Sweeris. He was mine. And I was his. Forever.

The doctors had not dealt with neonatal MG very often. I'm sure some were seeing their first case. They wanted to see if his condition could have been due to being a baby of a diabetic, which apparently has some of the same (milder) symptoms of neonatal MG. I knew better. I should have pushed. He was so floppy. No muscle tone. You know how most babies clench their little fists and wave their arms and kick their little legs? Jacob just lay there ind of splayed open like a little frog. But part of me wanted so desperately to believe that it WAS just the infant of a diabetic thing, and that in 5 days when I went home he would come with me. It was not to be.

For 5 days, I went to the NICU every 3 hours, to feed Jacob through his feeding tube. We changed his diaper. I was too weak to stand or walk, so I was still in a wheelchair, and on oxygen 24/7. Jacob looked so tiny, yet SO huge! Every other baby in the NICU was like 1 - 3 pounds, fighting for their tiny little lives. My hulk was 8.5, and 21 inches long! They had him in a bigger bed, because the little isolets were just too small!

I was exhausted, but nothing was going to stop me from being there every 3 hours to hold my son. I was getting very little sleep, and my anxiety was through the roof. Doug had to stay in my room overnight because I would have panic attack after panic attack. I would have parked in the NICU if I was strong enough to get there by myself. But no one would take me because of my condition, and I was supposed to be resting. Fat chance.

I was discharged on Saturday, August 19. Without my son. Just before we left, Jacob's main doctor came into my room and told me they were putting Jacob on a C-PAP machine (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) to help him breathe. His carbon dioxide levels were still too high. I cried.

As soon as we got home, the phone rang. It was Jacob's doctor again. The C-PAP wasn't working, so they put him on a ventilator. I cried harder.

The nights were the worst, because during the day, my mom would go up every morning and sit with Jacob, and sing to him. Doug and I would go up late morning, early afternoon, and stay til evening. Then we would go home, and try to go to bed.

My arms were empty, my belly was empty....I had just gone through this 40 week ordeal, and I had nothing to show for it. The ache in my heart was almost unbearable. We checked on Jacob every night around midnight by calling the NICU. I was healing from a C-section, still super-weak from the MG, and this was my life.

When I saw Jacob on the vent, I just bawled. I KNEW what it felt like, having been on a vent in the hospital in 2000 for several weeks. I KNEW it wasn't comfortable. I KNEW it was irritating and hurt, and it was hard to get comfortable. The entire time he was on the vent, I was the only one to hold him. I was not going to let him not be held just because he was on a vent. He had so little human contact, really....My mom was still going up every morning, God bless her. But I was the only one to hold him. I cried every day.

Finally they decided to do something called IVIG. I didn't want them to, because it didn't work my MY M.G., and I figured if Jacob had MY anitbodies, it wouldn't work for him either. And not only did it not work for me, it gave me a fever, flu-like symptoms and a migraine. Doug and I talked about it, and he thought we should try it. The doctors said it could very likely work for him, even if it didn't work for me. I finally gave in.

They got an IV in his foot, but it didn't stay put past the first day. IVIG is a 3-4 day treatment. So they had to put an IV in his little forehead. I have never been so sad in my whole life. I had to leave the room, or I probably would have killed someone. And the worst part of Jacob being on the vent? When he cried, which he RARELY did, they was no sound. You just saw this wrinkly little face, the little body tensing, but no sound. It was HORRIBLE! I truly thought my heart would break.

Most of Jacob's baby pictures are in Creative Memories albums, so I scanned a page so you can see my poor little boy. This was the MAIN reason I didn't want to birth my own child. I knew this could happen, but I NEVER envisioned it this bad. No one did. This was pretty much worst case scenario, once again.

We put Bible verses all around Jacob's crib, and prayed for him every day. Many of our friends and family were praying as well. The ONLY thing that kept me sane was that I KNEW Jacob would get better. All the other parents in the NICU didn't KNOW that. Every day Jacob was getting a little stronger, because every day was one day closer to when my antibodies would completely be out of his system.

The IVIG days were the worst. It did start improving after that. He went on and off the vent like 3 times...they thought he was strong enough, put him on the C-PAP (which he HATED because he had to wear this knit cap and have tubes blowing air up his nose. I've been on a C-PAP too, and they are miserable!

About 10 days before he went home, he was put in a big boy crib. It was metal, and small, but it was HUGE compared to the teeny isolets with the teeny babies in there. It was just tragic seeing those itty bitty babies...not knowing if they would make it or not. Sadness permeated my life at that time. One day when we got there Jacob was in a bright yellow bean bag, in his crib, batting at his mobile. It was one of the best sights I had ever seen! I remember the first time he kicked off his blanket! I was SO excited, because that meant he was getting stronger!

Little by little Jacob improved, and was able to get off the vent, and be on oxygen only. He still had the feeding tube, because he wasn't taking all of his feedings by bottle yet. I wasn't nursing because I had to get right back on my CellCept so I would be able to take care of this child! Eventually he was weaned off the oxygen. The only thing keeping him there was feeding. I was like, I want to take my baby HOME!!! I can tube feed him at home...everything else was fine. I had to really push to get him home, but I thought, they have had him long enough!!

So FINALLY, after 35 days, the day that Jacob was 5 weeks old, we got to take him home. That was probably the happiest day of my life. It was finally over.

Once we got Jacob home he thrived. He had his 6 week checkup on the 26th, and we pulled the feeding tube out that day. He was taking 90% of his feedings by bottle, and although it wasn't easy to feed him, we both felt like the tube was just getting in the way.

At his 6 week checkup, his pediatrician, who hadn't seen him yet (because he wasn't affiliated with Jacob's birth hospital) read through his chart before he came in. After he examined Jacob, he told us that unless he had read that chart, he never would have known that Jacob wasn't just a normal, healthy six week old baby. Hallelujah!

Jacob was a bit behind physically...His upper body remained week for several months. But he was healthy, and whole, and perfect. He was SUCH a good baby. He only cried when he was tired, hungry or needed his diaper changed. He NEVER cried just to cry. He never fussed. He was amazing.

And he still is. I thank God every day for my wonderful gift. This priceless child named Jacob that came into my life and changed it forever. Of course I wish I could have spared him what he went though, but if we had to go through it to get my Jacob, it was worth it. He is the light of my life. Mommy loves you Jacob. More than you could ever know.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mg and Pregnancy-Part Four; Birth and Aftermath

So we check in at 0'dark thirty and get to a room. They try Cytotek one last time, as I have dilated to one. At noon, they started pitocin, because there was no further reaction from the Cytotek. They started at a fairly low dose, and increased it by 4 units every hour. I think I was up to 32, which is quite high if I remember correctly. I was having contractions, but nothing to write home about. No further dilation, no effacing, nothing.

At 6 PM they stopped the pit so I could eat supper. Then at 10PM, they started it up again. If you've never had a baby, imagine trying to sleep with a baby heartbeat monitor wrapped around your belly, plus another wrap to measure any contractions, and being on pitocin (a medicine to stimulate labor) all. night.long. Needless to say, I did not sleep. No sleep + MG = nothing good.

Tuesday, August 15 arrives. They check me again in the morning. Nada. They crank up the pit again. At about 10:30 they manage to break my water, even though I was still only dilated to one. Now THAT is a bizarre feeling.

I continued to have contractions, and about 1:00-1:30 I got my epidural. We were a bit concerned about having an epi, but the docs recommended it as the safest way for me, because if I had to deal with the pain on top of the stress, the MG would flare like crazy and I wouldn't have a prayer of delivering vaginally. It was a little scary, because at first I couldn't move my legs at all...but Doug helped me find a better position and I was okay.

Obviously I'm tired. Borderline exhaustion. My spirits are still pretty good, but I'm fading FAST. At about 2:30, Dr. Lavery came in and checked again. No progress. So I said what are we looking at? He basically said if I started dilating right then, it would probably be 4-6 hours til I was at 10, then a minimum of 3 hours pushing. I looked at my husband, looked at the doc, and said, "I'm done. C-section please." By this time, I was not strong enough to talk. I had to write everything, or whisper.

The anesthesiologist was AMAZING. I was so scared about not being able to breathe, especially with the epidural, in the operating room...and to be awake for it all! So he said he would give me something to knock me out for like 10 seconds, take out the trach, put the ET tube in, get me on the vent, and wake me back up. I was like, okay. This was the worst case scenario that my neurologist had mentioned: delivering by C-section on a vent. I remember when he told me that I was like, nah, that couldn't be me!. Um, right.

However, the anesth. said, "Okay kiddo, your oxygen numbers are great. I'm going to lean you back just a little bit." So he did, and I was okay. After a few minutes, he put me back a little further. And waited....let my body acclimate to that position. He told me my oxygen numbers were still good. I was terrified, but many people were praying for me, and I KNOW God sent this doc to me. He was so awesome...I was at peace the moment I saw him. I immediately trusted him...and I don't trust doctors. I make them earn it, believe me.

So here we are going back bit by bit, and while it was a bit more difficult to breathe, I was doing it, and soon enough I was lying flat enough to have the C-section, NO VENT. This was truly a miracle, folks. Honest to God miracle. There was no natural way I should have been able to breathe lying flat on my back. No way. Except God's way.

I was so excited that I could be awake, and even talk, (well, whisper) during the delivery. Had I been on the vent, talking would have been impossible.

Doug was by my side (And he looked awfully cute in those doctor scrubs!) There were LOTS of people in there....my doctor, several nurses, helpers, more helpers, the docs from the NICU for Jacob, and The Giant.

The Giant was this huge man standing to my right. He was the Pusher. Dr. Lavery made the incision, and the Pusher started up by my breastbone, and started a downward pushing movement to get Jacob out. He was about 6'7", maybe 280. One of the man's hands were larger than my entire head. And he had both of them on my pregnant belly, pushing downward, squishing Jacob out. The entire gurney was moving. The man was HUGE. It didn't hurt at all, it was just this intense pressure. Crazy.

I will NEVER in.my.life. forget the moment they showed Jacob to me. (After they got him to let go of Dr. Lavery's finger with his mouth! He was biting the poor man!!) They lifted up this child. This amazing, wrinkly, pasty, beautiful, perfect, black-curly-haired, chubby cheeked angel and showed me my baby. Oh, that moment. Still brings tears to my eyes. I never EVER dreamed this was even possible, and here we were. I wanted that moment to freeze.

Unfortunately it didn't. Jacob was crying, which was a good sign, and his Apgars were okay, but not great. They whisked him off to the NICU, which I was prepared for, but it still stunk. I made Doug go with the baby while they stitched (rather stapled) me up and brought me to recovery. I was shaking so hard! I remember them telling me it was normal...but it was not fun!

I ended up being in recovery until midnight, because my heartbeat was too fast and they couldn't get it to slow down. I was severly dehydrated, and I drank a LOT...which helped the heartbeat go down, and I could finally go to my room. We had collected Jacob's cord blood at the time of birth to be cryogenically stored, so the box was on the counter waiting for the courier to pick it up. At the time, there were over 40 diseases that cord blood could cure for the person it came from. I'm sure there are even more today.

On the way to my room, they pushed me in my bed through the NICU so I could see my boy... I had only seen him the one peek in the operating room. I put my hand in the incubator (which he was WAY too big for!) and he grabbed my hand. Not tightly, but he kinda grabbed it. He had oxygen on, and a feeding tube in, because he couldn't suck. This was part of neonatal MG. He had it. I knew it right then. They weren't willing to come to that conclusion immediately, but in my heart I knew.

I slept fitfully that night, my arms crying out for the child I had just brought into this world. That, and the nurses coming in to push on my tummy to get my uterus to shrink back. Not so fun. It honestly didn't hurt as bad as I was expecting it to...but maybe I was just peroccupied.

The next day, as soon as I was able, I went to the NICU so I could hold my baby for the first time. I could.not.believe. it. This tiny miracle was MINE. I got to KEEP him! He was perfect. Big chubby cheeks...thick, black curly hair....perfect.

The next few days would tell the story....little did I know that I would be in for the most difficult journey of.my.life.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mg and Pregnancy-Part Three

So it's Saturday night, December 10, 2005, and I just found out I am pregnant. I'm pretty much sitting on the couch, staring at Doug with this silly grin on my face. I'm more excited and happier than I've ever been in my life, yet scared out of my mind at the same time.

Doug says, "Now don't go telling the whole world until we go to the doctor."

Um, right.

Church was the next morning. The first person I see is my friend Kim...she was 6 weeks pregnant with her second child (turned out to be second AND third child, but we didn't know that then). She knew we were trying. She was standing right in front of me as I walked through the door, and I just looked at her, and tipped my head to go into an empty classroom. She just dropped her jaw and said, "NO WAY!!!" She totally knew before I said a word.

I just couldn't keep this ear to ear grin off my face...I didn't even have to tell many people, they just guessed by the way I was acting. People also said that they had never before seen Doug walk so tall.

Ended up that after church a bunch of people were taking the pastor and his wife out for lunch, so most of my church friends were all in one spot. Of course the whole world knew before noon. : ) I couldn't help myself!

Then we called my best friend Linda, and my mom and dad...my sisters, my brother in California...I called the doctor on Monday, and was shocked that they didn't want to see me until January 10, when I would be six weeks along. I assumed they would want to see me right away.

So I went on the 10th, and we heard the heartbeat. Oh.My.Gosh. What an amazing thing. I just could NOT believe it. I also had an ultrasound. They would be doing lots and lots of these, which was awesome, because I got to see the baby grow month by month. I could have done a small baby book just with ultrasound pictures! (We never did get the 3-D one though...too expensive... plus we had SO many regular ones, we felt like we knew what he looked like anyway!)

I had gone off the CellCept in June...I remember going to Bible study once in March, and having 3 showers in April. By the last shower, I could no longer speak clearly. The girls writing down who gave me what couldn't understand a word I said. I was exhausted. From the beginning of April on, I pretty much did nothing but go to the doctor. My favorite uncle was in the hospital, and I only made it up to see him once. He ended up passing away, and I didn't make it to the funeral. I got to the funeral home, but I looked and felt awful. I wished I could have done so much more for my Aunt. I felt horrible. Love you Aunt Dee....Miss you Uncle Gordy!

At my 18 week ultrasound, we found out what we were having....a boy!!! I was SO SO happy. I knew I was only going to do this one time around, and I wanted so badly for Doug to have a boy. YAY! We had names picked out already: Olivia Michelle if it was a girl, and Jacob Douglas (Jacob for Doug's grandpa, and Douglas well, for Doug!). Jacob was VERY cooperative during the ultrasound. Buns up, legs wide open....already an exhibitionist! At the 22 weeks ultrasound, we could see his cheeks! I kid you not! Jacob had the biggest chubby cheeks I had ever seen. Precious!!!

The pregnancy really went amazingly well all things considering. My blood sugar stayed fantastic, my blood pressure was good, and I only gained 17 pounds. THAT was a miracle. I was SURE I would gain 100 at least. Nope. SEVENTEEN. My metabolism went through the roof! My favortie thing to eat was strawberries. I would eat a bowlful a day. I also loved cheese crackers.

I only threw up one time, and that was at 7 months.

We eat mainly venison (before we started raising beef), and I LOVED it. However, while I was pregnant, I couldn't eat it.

Even though my sense of smell was hampered by the trach, I had a bionic nose. Eww. One of my LEAST favorite things about being pregnant.

My biggest fear was that Jacob would be born with transient neonatal myasthenia gravis. Bascially that means he would temporarily have MG until his maternal antibodies went away. We met with a neonatologist, and were told that the chances of Jacob having it were 1 in 7. I went online and looked up whatever I could. The average stay in the NICU for a baby with neonatal MG was about 18 days. This was one of the main reasons I didn't want to try to have my own child. It was terrifying thinking that Jacob would have to deal with what I did, but only being a tiny baby. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing he would fully recover, and never have to deal with it again. I was still scared to death.

We were going to try to have a vaginal delivery, but I had doubts the whole time about being strong enough to push. I couldn't imagine.

My midwife was extremely conscientious about me, preparing for every possibility. If I DID have to have a C-section, it would be in the main OR, not the labor and delivery ward. I had to get an ET (endo tracheal) tube for my trach, thinking that if I had to have a C-section, they would have to take out my trach, put the ET tube in, blow up the cuff and put me on a vent during the procedure because I couldn't breathe laying flat when I WASN'T pregnant!! That part scared me silly, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Just pray and trust.

Finally August rolled around. I was due the 21st, but we decided to induce on the 14th. We had to be at the hospital at like 6 or 7 in the morning. Ug. The Friday before, at the doctor, they used Cytotek to gradually start things going. I kind of cramped all weekend, went in to the hospital Saturday (the 12th) for another dose, stayed home Sunday, and then checked in to the hospital on Monday.

And then.......

Monday, May 3, 2010

We Interupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

AAAhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to go to the chiropractor AGAIN today. A different one, this time about 25 minutes away. They take clients on a walk in basis after you've been there once. They could get me in this afternoon...so I went, and I can go back whenever. I LOVE Dr. Lou, as you all know, but getting past the front desk can be tough. When I had ribs out, the first time they told me it would be like a week. I was like EXCUSE ME??? I KNOW that if I had talked to Dr. Lou himself he would have said come on in.

I didn't have a rib completely out today, but apparently a vertabrae was REALLY messed up, and the nerve from that runs along the rib (the last one that went out, up high on the left.) It's like a lovely burning hot poker is being shoved into my side, and when I cough at all, it's like that burning hot poker is slicing me open. By 3:00 I had taken 3 Aleve and 3 Tylenol 3's without relief.

I'm going to vent now, so for those of you who like the happy-sunshiney-you-can-do-it-posts, just stop now.

I am SO.SICK.AND.TIRED of telling my precious, innocent little boy that I can't do things. Jacob's latest catch phrase has been "But that's not fair!" And we keep getting on him because he said it ALLLL the time. So instead he started saying, "That's not good." But today was just NOT FAIR.

It was SO beautiful out today...and the breathing and MG is doing pretty good....I completely over did it on Saturday when I attempted to frantically clean the office before the computer dude came to fix my computer. Doug moved the GINORMOUS gun case out of the office so I can finally make it MY room for Creative Memories, my writing, and school with Jacob.

But anywho...so we're outside eating lunch (as picnic-y as I can get), and he's hitting a ball off his tee. He's awesome. Left hand, right hand, doesn't matter.

Then he gets his little mitt and and ball. "Mom, let's play catch!"

"I'm sorry honey, Mommy can't. Remember, I have an owie in my side?"

"Yeah, but I want to."

"I want to too, buddy, but I just can't."

"Mom, can you push me on the swing?"

"No, Jacob, I'm sorry, buddy. Mommy can't do that either."

"But that's not good."

"I know honey, I'm sorry."

"But Mom I want to swing!"

"I know, sweetie, but Mommy can't lift you onto the swing."

"Well can you push me then?"

Tears from Jacob. Tears from Mommy.

He must have asked 20 times about 10 different things and I just had to sit there like a damn bump on a log and not do jack because my#$!*&^% back and ribs are messed up again. Like I don't have enough to deal with!!!!

I felt like the crappiest mom on the planet today. Jacob just kept looking at me with those big blue eyes.....

This.just.plain. SUCKS.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

My MG Pregnancy-Part Two

Okay....so we left off at the fertility clinic, in the room, getting the ultrasound, searching for the number of eggs able to be retrieved for in vitro. To give you a hint, my friend had this done and she produced at least 30 each time.

And they found.........one. One. Uno. Eins. Een. Jeden. Un.

Yah. I was devastated. And I was alone. I left in a state of shock. We were just SO sure this was going to work. I didn't respond to the fertility drugs. Apparently I couldn't have a baby. I went home and took the few baby things I had gotten (an adorable giraffe that said the "Now I Lay Me" prayer, and a little baby toy someone had given us when we told them what we were doing). I gave them to Doug and told him to burn them. (He didn't, but he got them out of my sight).

It was almost a year of getting over the disappointment, trying to figure out what was next....I really didn't know how important it was to Doug to have his own biological child. To me, any child would be mine if I raised it and loved it. I never had a strong desire to HAVE children...I just wanted them. Lots of them. Having this infernal disease was going to make that very difficult.

In May of 2005, after seeking God and lots of prayers on my part, on my friends' parts, my family, etc., I very clearly heard God tell me to "submit to my husband" in the area of the baby. I was like a child dragging their feet..."Fine," I thought.

I told Doug we could try "the old fashioned way" but I would only try for one year, and then we would adopt. I had it so stuck in my mind that I couldn't get pregnant...but there I go again, playing God when I should know better!

We had to start with my neurologist, who gave us the okay after four months of being off my CellCept. I had to go off my anti-depressants (which I very soon had to go on a pregnancy safe one because I was losing my mind). I had to go on a blood pressure medication, start seeing a perinatologist (high risk OB people), and had to go on insulin. The insulin made me gain 20 pounds before I we even started trying, so I was not very happy.

Speaking of high risk, I had all these factors: obviously the MG, I was diabetic, I was 35....three BIG factors in a high risk pregnancy.

Both of my sisters gained like 100 pounds with their pregnancies, and I'm thinking, "I can't even move (I really went downhill off the CellCept)...I'm going to gain 150 pounds." I was nervous, to say the least.

We started trying in October of 2005. I took a test in October, which I shouldn't have, because it was negative, and I was really surprised at how disappointed I was. I still didn't really WANT to be pregnant. I was terrified! And my family thought I was crazy...they were very concerned about my health. In November I got my period before I even thought about testing, so I knew then that I wasn't pregnant.

On December 10, we had a Michigan MG meeting in Dundee, Michigan. Well, in Dundee there is a Cabela's. I love Cabela's. What I didn't know what that it was like Cabela Club Member Day and there were about 420,000 peeople in the store. We didn't even want to walk around, and the lines were to the back of the store. It's a BIIIIIG store... We only needed a few things, so I got in line right away, and Doug went to get the stuff. It didn't help that I was having THE worst case of PMS EVER, and I was ready to kill everyone I looked at. I hate crowds ordinarily, but this was a special kind of hatred. I was supposed to get my period that day, so I was just waiting. I KNEW I couldn't be pregnant because of the PMS from hell.

Well. We got home about 9:30PM, and still no period. I was going to test in the morning, Sunday. I couldn't wait. I just wanted to get it overwith so I didn't wonder all night long. I would cry a little, then go to bed. So I got the test out, peed, and put the stick on the counter.

To my shock, amazement, and utter glee (which I wasn't expecting) a big ol' PLUS sign showed up. I just sat there for a minute. I was actually speechless. For those of you who know me well, that NEVER happens. I brought the stick into the living room where Doug was watching TV. I gave him the stick, and he just looked at it.

He said, "What does this mean?"

And with great delight I replied, "What do you think it means.....Daddy???"

To be continued.....

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Crashed.

My computer crashed today. I mean crashed. Utter devastation. I am so ticked. I just stopped crying. I was going to post a continuation of my pregnancy story, but I am so exhausted right now. The tech dude spent 3 hours here trying to fix it, and ended up having to wipe the hard drive and reinstall everything.

I lost so many files. Just piddly stuff that I never thought I'd need to back up....letters, forms I had made....Long story, but I had WORKS (yes WORKS, NOT WORD) from Microsoft, and it was a really old version. But it's like your favorite pair of jeans...you just can't get rid of them. Well, something happened and my computer stopped recognizing the documents (probably woke up and saw the light). So I DID have the book I was writing on a backup, but now the computer won't recognize it, and I don't have the disc to reinstall WORKS.

Thank GOD my blog is still here, my e-mail contacts....but my bookmarks: gone. All the pics I downloaded from the internet just to use for whatever: gone. My favorites: gone.

So. I hope tomorrow I will continue posting "real" stuff.
Thanks.
{sigh}