Letter to God: Faithful

Dear Lord,

I feel so lost.  I've always been a "do-er"...a Martha, I suppose.  Type A, always doing something.  Right now though, Father, I'm just lost.  I was sitting here thinking of what to say, and I am brought back once again to Romans 8:26-27. 

 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[a] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

The last time these verses were so prevalent in my life was almost 19 years ago when I was told I could have a terminal, degenerative disease that would slowly and painfully end my life.  You led me to this Scripture then, and you're leading it to me now.  I don't even know how to pray, Lord.  Thank you for Your Holy Spirit who intercedes on my behalf.

You know I've never been good at being still, or at not knowing what's coming next.  Now, not only do I have no idea what's coming next, I'm *forced* to be still because I cannot even WALK let alone DO anything.  Yes, Lord, I'm angry and frustrated.  I know You can handle that.  I don't like not knowing my future.  I don't like not knowing how long I'll be stuck in this blasted cast, in the house, even in this state. 

But You know God.  You Know. And that HAS to be good enough right now.  Help me really GET that.

In Jesus' Name.

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This song by Carrollton is SO my heart right now.  Please read these beautiful words.

"Even though I cannot see where You're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

It's another day in a worn out life
With nothing lost and nothing gained
And I can't make it on my own
And that I know will never change
So my hope is in You
My trust is in You
And You have never failed

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

So why do I still try my ways
When all it brings is doubt and fear
Lord help me see, help me believe
In You alone I persevere

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

My hope is in You
My trust is in You
And You have never failed
So I will lay down
All of my fears now
Cause You will never fail

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful 

I am Yours, and You are faithful

I am Yours, and You are faithful"

Change

I'm not really a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal.  Not that I'm NEVER spontaneous, but as a whole, change and I are not the best of friends.  I like things to stay the way they are most of the time.  Sure, there are times when things HAVE to change.

And this is perfect timing for this post, because I decided to change the design of my blog a little bit.  Now I have no idea where half the stuff went that was on here, and some things are on here taking up 200 lines. Sigh.  

As many of you know, 2 weeks before we were going to North Carolina to look at houses, I broke my foot.  BIG change for the way that vacation was going to happen for me.  Not a good, happy change.  We are, as a family, in the middle of some BIG decisions; big changes...and they seem to be evolving every day.  And it makes me very anxious.

Do you know what I find most comforting about God?  You got it.  He. Never.  Changes.

17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " James 1:17

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

That means that God is the same today, right now, in my life, as he was before time began.  He is the same as He was when He dried up the Red Sea and saw the Israelites cross on dry ground.  He is the same now as He will be when Jesus returns again on that glorious day.... Hallelujah!

Friends, I don't like it when things change.  I don't like being in situations I can't control.  But the beautiful thing is, NOTHING that happens to you or to me is a surprise to God.  He is our Rock in good times and bad... In plenty or in want.  Our God is God yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And that gives me great comfort.