Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Courage

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrow is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow." Dorothy Thompson

I have said before that surviving is a lot harder that dying. But in my core, I believe the quote above. There has to be more. There just has to be. I will NOT believe that we suffer in vain. I will NOT believe is some cosmic irony that has just let us run amok on this mudball called earth.

I believe that God IS good. That it was never His will that we should undergo such horrible atrocities. He created us to live in paradise. And when this life is over, we will indeed!

But in the meantime, it is so imperative that I keep my focus on God's purpose for my illness. I know of someone who has benefitted spiritually from how God has worked in my life through this illness. I cannot tell you how privileged I feel to be a part of that. I mean, if you KNEW that something you went through was used by God to bring someone to Him who otherwise may not have? That's worth anything, is it not?

So on the days when I am down, when my trach is driving me crazy, and hurts, and I can't get it just right, and I can't breathe so well, on the days when I don't have the energy to lift my arms, the days when my son looks into my eyes and says, "Why do you have to rest Mommy?" That the times when I can't meet that friend, go to that Bible study, attend church, when my vision is doubled and I am whining and complaining.... I MUST refocus on God. He is my ONLY Cure. I MUST remind myself as did Job, I KNOW that my Redeemer lives!

And I must add that I could not have gotten through all this without all of YOU praying for me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God heard and answered the prayers of His faithful when I was in the hospital 9 years ago. There is NO physical reason I should be alive. God spared me, and I believe He did so for a reason.

So I ask that if God ever brings me to mind, please pray for me; for me to remember that God is my Hope and Salvation. That He is my Peace, my Comfort, and my Healer. And if you feel so moved, let me know you said a prayer...encouragement is something that spurs me on.

So when life throws you a curveball, say a little prayer and swing for the fence!

8 comments:

Sarah Beth said...

He did bring you to mind just this morning/last night! (I was half asleep). It was the most random thing, and I'm not quite sure how coherent my sleepy prayer was, but I asked Him to bless you and your husband and little boy, and He heard me. :)

Joanna said...

When we get to Heaven and General Kerri comes out on the field - you better believe I'm going to be poking some big ol angel in the ribs and say that's my friend - she didn't give up. :)

Alicia said...

you never cease to amaze me!! you always seem to have the right attitude!! and this is exactly what i needed to read tonight! thanks for being a fighter and a great example :)

Kerri said...

Thank you so much ladies...Your replies are making my eyes leak! : ) Thank you for the encouragement and prayers...I love you all!

Oh, Alicia...just check back a few days and you'll find LOTS of not-so-good attitiude! : )

Pam said...

Kerri,
I needed to read this tonight, I had one of those days where I was thinking ok Lord, I don't feel good and I am tired...life is hard but God is good He has a plan and yes, if even one person is saved it is worth it all!
Let us fix our eyes on the prize and run the race...Hebrews 12:1
I will cheer for you and pray for you as I know you are for me. I love you Kerri!

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

This last line from your post is inspiring. I'm going to add it to my list of favorite quotes, I hope you don't mind.

"So when life throws you a curveball, say a little prayer and swing for the fence!"

Happy SITS Day!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

withoutadornment said...

I love your attitude - God definitely is the answer to all problems. :)

Happy SITS Day!

thatgirlisfunny said...

hello again, SITStah,
goodness, when God chooses who can manage his hardest issues, He really gets it right. Thank you for not giving up - even when you nearly do and then change your mind again.