Time Passes On

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” Earl Nightingale

I suppose I could have changed this quote to something a bit more personal: I won’t fear the time that passes just because I have an incurable disease. The time will pass anyway; I might as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

Even though, praise God, I am doing so much better now (except for this blasted sinus infection!), there are still so many things I wish I could do.  There are even more things I want very badly to do, but because of Myasthenia Gravis, I am not able.  But you know what?  I’ll never give up.  I’ll never give in.  I feel like I might as well try to do something good with my time; it’s going to go by… whether quickly or slowly, it will pass.  So why sit and pout and be miserable?

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have my moments.  Ask my husband.  I have a pity party now and again, and I suppose I “boo-hoo” from time to time.  But I’d like to think that overall, my attitude is primarily positive.  You see, I have HOPE.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. Yes, you read that right.  I would NOT be here on planet earth any longer if I didn’t believe there was more.

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.’” John 11:25 NKJV

So if I die, how can I live?  Seems a bit oxymoronic, doesn’t it?  But friends, it is true. There is no truer truth in the entire world. Because of Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross so many years ago on a hill called Golgotha, when I die in my physical body, I will finally and truly be alive!  I will be pain-free, perfect, healthy, and never shed a tear again.  Oh, Glory!  Do you understand that?  Do you KNOW Jesus?

He has changed my life.  Living with a debilitating, chronic, neuro-muscular disease is not a lot of fun.  There are many times I’m not happy. But the JOY that lives in my heart! Oh, the joy!  Beloved of God (and that’s YOU, yes, you….anyone reading this!) I am able to have joy and peace in my very soul because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God gave up His one and only Son to die on a rugged cross so that I, so that you, might live forever with Him.  All we have to do is choose to say yes to His incredible offer of hope!

“They shall neither hunger anymore nor thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any heat; ¹⁷ for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:16-17 NKJV

Please read that again. God Himself will wipe every tear from your eyes.  That is heaven, my friends.  That is what we get to look forward to. Thank you, Jesus.

“And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.’
⁵ Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’”  Revelation 21:3-5

Hallelujah!  Again, God is saying He will wipe our tears! Do you know what that means to someone like me who lives with chronic pain? With many, many tears?

In the Old Testament, the tabernacle was the earthly house that God lived in.  In the book of Exodus, God gave Moses and the Israelites very specific instructions on how to build it. Because the Israelites were traveling through the wilderness, this large “house of God” was able to be moved from one place to another while the people traveled. But not just anyone could go into the house of God.  Specifically, the Holy of Holies, where God's presence literally dwelled, was only accessible to ONE man: the High Priest. 

So in Revelation 21:3 we read that the tabernacle of God (His home) is now with MEN! God Himself will dwell with us!  He will be with us. He will be our God. And He WILL wipe our tears.

I have had this disease called Myasthenia Gravis for over 20 years now.  I was 25 when I had my first symptom. It has taken a lot from me.

A LOT. 

But one thing it can NEVER take from me is the hope I have.  Hope for a future, in heaven, with God…

Pain-free.

Perfect.

Healthy.

Whole.

We're Not Talking Thankful....

We're talking over-the-moon, pure, all-encompassing, infinite, shut-my-mouth HAPPY. Happy happy happy happy happy. I'm happy. I'M HAPPY!!!!

{If any one you remember the seagull in the Little Mermaid, where he grabs Sebastian (the little crab) and goes eyeball to eyeball and says, "Do you hear what I'm saying to you?!?!" and shakes him like crazy.....THAT'S how I'm writing this!}

I want to grab every single one of you and make you look at me eyeball to eyeball so I can say, "Do you hear what I'm saying???" I AM HAPPY!

Now there's a total difference between happiness and being joy. I can still have joy in a hospital bed, because I know that when the Good Lord is ready, He is coming back to take me up to heaven, and I will be perfect there. NOTHING takes my joy.

But happy is a whole different ballgame. I cannot say I have felt really, honestly, purely HAPPY like this in.....sadly, I can't remember when. I'm downright giddy.

* I slept 7 hours straight last night. I didn't wake up or get up once. Not even to go potty. If I did, I don't remember, which is just as good as not waking at all. Can I tell you the last time that happened? NOPE. Probably 1989 or something.

* Yesterday, I drove myself 45 miles to my mom's house where I got to see my mom and dad on their anniversary, my niece on her birthday, and both of my sisters and one great-niece (I hate saying that because a great aunt is a blue-haired old lady in my mind's eye) all in one day. AND it was almost 90 degrees there. AND I sat in the garage (garage sale, not some form of self-torture) for over an hour chatting before I wilted and had to go in. But then I made a quick recovery. I drove home MYSELF 3 1/2 hours later, and drove home without incident.

* When I got HOME, after resting for about an hour or so in the house with my feet up, I was able to go outside, down to the pond, to see my precious baby's tadpole collection. We have them in all stages you know. "Two-legs, four-legs, and hoppers." THEN I walked to the barn (with the van key so Doug could drive down and bring me back up to the house since I knew there was NO WAY I could get up the incline back to the house after being outside for 30 minutes in 95 degrees (Yes, I said 95!), right?) I even went into. the. barn. Yes, that part was temporary insanity. My barn and my basement are two places I'd rather not EVER go in. But Jacob wanted me to see him feed the cows, and Doug wanted me to see the hay he put up. {As I'm saying that I'm hearing my brother (who never reads my blog, A-HEM) laugh his fool head off.}
Well, you know what? I. Walked. Back. Up. To. The. House. I had to stop twice, but I did it. Then up the concrete stairs from the pit of hell up the door, and up the 7 steps into the house.

THEN after resting again I gave Jacob a bath!

SHUT.
UP.

Let me just TRY to put this in perspective for you "normal" people. Wait a minute, who do I know that's normal??? You HEALTHY people.

Having SIX days in a row, where I did pretty much everything I wanted to do, and MORE, then sleeping 7 hours straight last night, waking up at 6:13 A. freakin' M. with no headache, feeling great...the odds of that happening are about the same as you winning the lottery, getting hit by lightning and walking on the moon all in six days.

For me to do what has happened this week....It should have been impossible. It's BEEN impossible for SIX YEARS. SIX years. That's 2,190 days. GLORY TO GOD. GLORY!!!

I'm not saying this can continue...if fact, I need to settle my hiney down before I end up relapsing. But I'm not sure you can really understand what this feels like...I want to shout from the mountaintops. It's like I've found the holy grail of treatment timing, location, etc. I even cut back on my Prednisone from 5mg every day to 5, 2 1/2 every other day. May not sound like much, but even that much has already helped my blood sugar. Prednisone is the devil. If there was something worse I could think of than the devil, it would be prednisone.

Anyway. Thank you for allowing me to verbally hemorrhage. Praise God it's going to be another amazing day. I am so blessed.

Sowing in Tears

"Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him."
Psalm 126:5-6

Joanna and I are doing a wonderful Bible study on the book of Ruth. There is so much to get out of such a small book of the Bible. Wow. This week, one of the days talked a bit about this passage. I had "discovered" this passage in 2002, while I was still very, very ill, and trying to get used to my new life as a myasthenic with a trach. Quite the adjustment.

What I used to focus on was the tears and joy part. I was like, well, this is a good thing...at least I KNOW that while I'm crying and crying and crying I will have joy sometime in the future.

I TOTALLY missed the point. It's the basic sowing and reaping principle. At its most basic, if you plant corn, you will grow corn. If you plant potatoes, don't expect carrots.

So even though I may be weeping, I still must sow. Even though it hurts, and I'm tired, and lonely sometimes, and sick, and busy, and.....I must sow if I want to reap. This passage is just telling us that even if we are weeping while we sow, we can still reap joy.

And I have just one thing to say to that: Hallelujah. Because if this was all there was....if the weeping never brought joy....

But sow. Take the seed you have, whether it be kindness, prayer, compassion, finances, support (physical, emotional or spiritual), and SOW. Because when you do, the harvest will come, and the harvest will be filled to overflowing with joy.

The SUN and The SON

Well, well. Here we are. Christmas has once again come and gone, and many are left in the aftermath of parties and wrapping paper and cookies and gifts gone awry. Like the sunshine in Michigan in winter: you spend a loooong time preparing and expecting, and in a moment, it's over! : )

In Michigan, you have to believe that the sun is still there even when you can't see it, because otherwise you might just go crazy. Logically, rationally, we know the sun exists whether we see it every day or not. We cannot touch the sun, but we can certainly feel its effects on us, and we surely can feel the effects when we do NOT see it.

Lately there have been many seemingly purpose-less events going on in so many of my loved one's lives. My husband and son (and myself) getting a horrible stomach flu right before Christmas. Getting sick and missing my niece's wedding. A young mom dying suddenly, unexpectedly, in her own bed, leaving behind a husband and 5 young children. A man in his 30's dying suddenly in a car crash, leaving behind a wife and children. Horrible floods, one after another, in the Phillipines, wreaking havoc, devastation upon devastation to people who already have nothing. Economic collapse forcing people from their jobs and threatening their homes. My sister's beloved puppy getting horribly ill and dying the day after Christmas. Divorce. Miscarriage. Sickness. Crime. Death. It's as if this world is spinning out of control, and many who Believe are asking why.

The answer to that question is simple: we just don't know. But thank and praise God, we know the One who does! Listen, I understand loss. I understand pain and circumstance that makes your gut hurt from crying out to God begging for an answer. I understand fear and panic. I know what it's like to wonder what could possibly happen next that will cause pain to you or someone you love.

What I must remember, is that the SON still shines. When we cannot see Him, we MUST believe, and know He is there. Just as we take by faith that the sunshine is behind the clouds, we must also believe that the Son is behind the darkness. We live on a crippled and dying planet, and it seems as if evil and darkness is spreading at a maddening rate. More and more and faster and faster. If you ask me, the devil has gotten Word that his time is short, and he is trying to take as many down with him as he can.

Job is a man familiar with suffering....but he knew that no matter what, God was in control.

14 "Listen to this, Job;

stop and consider God's wonders.
15 Do you know how God controls the clouds

and makes his lightning flash?
16 Do you know how the clouds hang poised,

those wonders of him who is perfect in knowledge?

One thing I try to remember as well is that I see only my piece of the whole puzzle. My piece contains my life, my family, my friends, my world. I don't even see the next pieces, but God sees the entire puzzle, all put together as it should be. One piece absolutely effects the rest.

This was found written on a concentration camp wall: "I believe in the sun even when it is not shining; I believe in love even when I feel it not; I believe in God, even when He is silent."

I don't know how a tiny puppy suffering and dying can glorify God. I don't know how allowing a mother to leave her husband and 5 children behind is part of God's plan. But you know what? It's not for me to know. And that's okay. Why? Because,

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

I firmly believe that God is in control, and that even when I don't know why, His ways are better than anything I can come up with. And when all is said and done, WE WILL GO OUT IN JOY AND BE LED FORTH BY PEACE!!! Please be encouraged today, that no matter where you are, no matter what has happened, God LOVES you, and He WILL provide for you and take care of you. I really felt like someone needed to hear that today. God bless you all!!!