Love Changes Everything by Micah Berteau - A Book Review

If you're not familiar with the story of Hosea and Gomer in the Bible, it's really quite shocking.  Here's my brief synopsis: Hosea was a prophet to Israel, and Gomer was a prostitute.  God told Hosea to marry Gomer.  She kept cheating on him and returning to prostitution. Yet he still pursued her.

This is like the love of God.  We can mess up over and over and over and God will STILL love us.  He will ALWAYS love us.  He continues to pursue us.  In his book Love Changes Everything, Micah Berteau describes the love of God in a way that, if you let it, will change your life. 

In the book, Micah tells a story from his childhood about breaking a cupboard door.  His father had told him not to sit on the door and swing on it, but he did it anyway, and sure enough, broke the door.  He ran into his room and hid and cried.  He was there for 3 hours before his dad finally found him.  His dad turned on the light, relieved to have found his son.  When his father asked him why he was crying, Micah admitted to his crime.  His father told him he had fixed the door right after Micah had broken it.  What the Father was concerned about was that he could not find his son.

This is God's love, my friends. We get hung up on our sin when we should just get hung up on God.  His love never fails.  His love is always faithful even when we are not.  It's kind of surreal when you think about it; a man marries a prostitute because God told him to, then falls madly in love with her, and pursues her to the ends of the earth.

We are flawed; sinful.  God is perfect.  And yet He chooses to love us.  The only reason we don't experience that love is if we choose not to receive it.

I recommend this book, although there are a few parts that get a bit repetitive.  There were a few parts where I thought, "get on with it", but I promise you it's worth the read.


*I received this book at no cost in exchange for my fair and honest review.

You can find this book on Amazon

WAIT..... What?!?!?

photo courtesy of losarciniegas

Have you ever thought of how strange it is that you can have a conversation without really saying anything?

"Wait...what?"
"I know, right?"
"Dude!"
"Mmmm-Hm."
"For REAL."

You could be talking about anything from a movie to a sale at your favorite department store to the second coming of Christ.  That really has nothing to do with the meat of this post, but I've been thinking about it, and after the title of this blog post.... Anyway. I digress...

This season of my life has been very trying.  As most of you know I have a broken foot.  It's been 2 1/2 months, and I have to have surgery on June 14th. (For those of you who pray, I would greatly appreciate prayers for a smooth recovery!)  It may be another 2 1/2 months after surgery.  We are surely hoping for less, but who knows?

And then, we're meeting financial advisers and planning on how we're paying off our debt, fixing up our house to sell, getting appraisals... The appraisals came in SO low it's ridiculous. Like $100K LOW.  (Side note: Huntington Bank is great for checking and savings accounts but do not EVER use them for appraisals.)  So everything has come to a screeching halt.

My least favorite answer to prayer isn't no.  It's wait.  Wait.  I STINK at waiting.  I'm a doer.  A fixer. A pull the trigger, fish or cut bait, Type A, get it done kind of girl.  So when God says, "Wait,"  I'm like, WHAT?  Might as well tell me stop requiring oxygen!

My least two favorite words in the Bible? "Be still."  For those of you who knew me before Myasthenia Gravis entered my life, had you ever seen me be still? Maybe in my sleep.  Maybe.  So I've been asking God to show me what He's trying to tell me, and guess what I'm getting?

Wait.

Be still.

Sigh. Okay, God, I got the message.  I don't like it, and I don't know how to do it, but I finally understand.  It's so much easier to encourage OTHERS to be still and wait for the Lord... To remind them that God is always in control, and that He definitely knows better than I do. 

So as I try to quiet the beast inside me begging for action, I humbly ask for your prayers.  It's a swift learning curve, but the sooner I figure it out, the better off I will be (and probably those around me who have had to put up with my irritable self!). 

I'm so grateful I have a Father in Heaven who wants the very best for me that He will do whatever it takes to ensure I get it.  Myasthenia Gravis came into my life at a time when my life was on the verge of going down a very wrong path.  I had to quit a job I loved, was really good at, and made amazing money doing.  But moral issues were popping up that I was incredibly uncomfortable with...and then I literally became so sick I could NOT work any longer.  That was the best thing that ever happened to me, and it certainly wasn't pleasant.

All this happening now isn't pleasant either, but I know that when I come out the other side (notice I said WHEN not IF!), I will be a better person for it.  Life is full of mountain tops and valleys.  The view from the top is breathtaking.  And I've been blessed with some incredible mountaintop experiences.  But where does the growth take place?  In the valleys, my friends.  We cannot grow on the mountaintop.  We must experience the valleys.  So as I go through this valley, I am trying my very best to lean into My Father, and to be still, and to KNOW, the HE is God.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14 NIV

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV

Raw

I am telling you...today is probably THE hardest day yet with this cast on my broken foot.  I'm trying to be all like, yeah, there are GOOD things about having a broken right foot:  1. A pair of socks lasts twice as long.  2. When you go on vacation you only have to take all of your left shoes.  3.  You can't cause a car accident driving because you can't drive. 4. You're REALLLLY hard to kidnap because you're 100% dead weight, including the cast!

But today?  Today I'm just angry and frustrated and just plain mad.  Pity, party of one, your table is ready.

Those of you who know me at all know I am a Christian.  What exactly does that mean?  It means that I believe there is One True God, and THE only way to get to heaven to live eternally is through His Son Jesus.  There is no other way. You can't be good enough.  You have to believe that Jesus died for your sins and you need a Savior, and you ask Him to be that Savior.

I want that to always be enough.  I want to be like Joni and always have a smile and always praise God for my suffering.  I want to praise Him through the storm.

But I'm going to be 100% real with y'all.  Right now?  I just can't.  It is the most beautiful day outside.  THE perfect day to go for a walk.  But I can't walk.  It's seriously gorgeous out.  We have the windows open.  It's 64 degrees, blue sky, and sunshine. 

Doug has started ripping things off the walls in the dining room, painting, etc., as we redo this place and get it ready to sell.  I can't help.  Even if I try, I'm just in the way with this honkin' scooter and cast.  Our door openings in this house are NARROW.  Like NOT ADA accessible.  It was built before 1900.  The scooter takes about an acre and a half to turn around.  Even though I'm feeling SO much stronger from using the IonCleanse, I still have Myasthenia Gravis, and my upper body strength has NEVER been good.  Muscling around with this scooter, trying to lift-and-spin because I DON'T have adequate turn-around room.

I can't use crutches to save my life.  I'm afraid if I used those on a regular basis I'd break something else.  Monday I go to the doc to find out if I have to have surgery to get this foot fixed...if I don't, 4-5 more weeks with the cast.  If I DO... 6-8 weeks.  No weight bearing.  It's brutal. 

I know people have it worse than broken feet.  I know I'm being a baby.  But I just wanted to be real.  I post a lot of stuff about God, and being a Christian, but just because I AM, doesn't mean I don't struggle.  Do I think God is still in control?  Of course.  Do I believe God has a plan for me in all this?  Yup.  Do I wish He could have done it in a different way?  You bet I do.

So on this first perfect day since we've been back from vacation, I'm a frustrated, bawling mess.  I know God never leaves me and when I feel this way it's because I've turned away in my struggle.  I'll get back to where I need to be... But today... Not so much.

Letter to God: Faithful

Dear Lord,

I feel so lost.  I've always been a "do-er"...a Martha, I suppose.  Type A, always doing something.  Right now though, Father, I'm just lost.  I was sitting here thinking of what to say, and I am brought back once again to Romans 8:26-27. 

 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[a] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

The last time these verses were so prevalent in my life was almost 19 years ago when I was told I could have a terminal, degenerative disease that would slowly and painfully end my life.  You led me to this Scripture then, and you're leading it to me now.  I don't even know how to pray, Lord.  Thank you for Your Holy Spirit who intercedes on my behalf.

You know I've never been good at being still, or at not knowing what's coming next.  Now, not only do I have no idea what's coming next, I'm *forced* to be still because I cannot even WALK let alone DO anything.  Yes, Lord, I'm angry and frustrated.  I know You can handle that.  I don't like not knowing my future.  I don't like not knowing how long I'll be stuck in this blasted cast, in the house, even in this state. 

But You know God.  You Know. And that HAS to be good enough right now.  Help me really GET that.

In Jesus' Name.

*                 *                      *                      *                           *                          *

This song by Carrollton is SO my heart right now.  Please read these beautiful words.

"Even though I cannot see where You're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

It's another day in a worn out life
With nothing lost and nothing gained
And I can't make it on my own
And that I know will never change
So my hope is in You
My trust is in You
And You have never failed

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

So why do I still try my ways
When all it brings is doubt and fear
Lord help me see, help me believe
In You alone I persevere

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful

My hope is in You
My trust is in You
And You have never failed
So I will lay down
All of my fears now
Cause You will never fail

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side

You are faithful to provide
You are always by my side
Even though I cannot see
Where you're leading me
I am Yours, and You are faithful 

I am Yours, and You are faithful

I am Yours, and You are faithful"

Change

I'm not really a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal.  Not that I'm NEVER spontaneous, but as a whole, change and I are not the best of friends.  I like things to stay the way they are most of the time.  Sure, there are times when things HAVE to change.

And this is perfect timing for this post, because I decided to change the design of my blog a little bit.  Now I have no idea where half the stuff went that was on here, and some things are on here taking up 200 lines. Sigh.  

As many of you know, 2 weeks before we were going to North Carolina to look at houses, I broke my foot.  BIG change for the way that vacation was going to happen for me.  Not a good, happy change.  We are, as a family, in the middle of some BIG decisions; big changes...and they seem to be evolving every day.  And it makes me very anxious.

Do you know what I find most comforting about God?  You got it.  He. Never.  Changes.

17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " James 1:17

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

That means that God is the same today, right now, in my life, as he was before time began.  He is the same as He was when He dried up the Red Sea and saw the Israelites cross on dry ground.  He is the same now as He will be when Jesus returns again on that glorious day.... Hallelujah!

Friends, I don't like it when things change.  I don't like being in situations I can't control.  But the beautiful thing is, NOTHING that happens to you or to me is a surprise to God.  He is our Rock in good times and bad... In plenty or in want.  Our God is God yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And that gives me great comfort.