Friday, August 29, 2014

Seasoning the Beef and Other Farm Tales

It was a fairly decent day weather-wise yesterday, so I was outside several times hanging out with Doug and Jacob.  Doug is scraping and repainting the garage yellow to match the house.  Yay!  It looks awesome.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I heard my voice asking Doug, "Can cows eat pears?"

"Oh, they love them!" says my hubby.  "Just think of it as seasoning the beef!"

So I proceeded to start chucking pears at the cows.  (We have 2 mature pear trees on our property that came with the house...Neither Doug nor I like pears, so most of them drop from the tree and the critters get them.)  The cows actually started chasing them!  I don't think they have the greatest vision however, because Brown Cow (I know, I know..his "real" name is in Hangar Steak, but we just call him Brown Cow.  We are simple folk it would seem.)

Anyway, I digress... Brown Cow would jump and kick up his heels; practically frolic, and chase after the pear.  But then he would lose sight of it, and couldn't find it.  Blackberry Steve (Jacob named her...yes, it's a her) on the other hand, would snatch them right up.  They would even butt heads trying to get them.

Who knew a few unripened pears and half rotten apples could turn bovines into entitled urchins?!?  They kept mooing at Jacob and I wanting more.  I can't believe I'm even writing this post.  It's almost an out-of-body experience for me living here, because it is SO not "me".  I'm still no farm girl, but it's a tad frightening at how the "redneck" kind of creeps up on you.  {Shudder.}

The hillbilly across the street, a.k.a "Bubba", who burned his house down several years ago, still does not live there, nor has anyone cleaned up the wreckage.  I tell ya, if you live out in the sticks you better pray you don't ever have a fire you don't WANT to have... It took forever for the water to get here.  The volunteers arrived, the truck with the POOL arrived; yes, I said pool.  They set up this circus-ring kind of pool, maybe 2 feet deep, and had to wait for the water tanker to come.

Jaw Drop.

I'm like, is this 1950 or.... It was rather crazy.  And frightening.  And reason number 78 to move closer to civilization.

Oh, and then there was the cricket on steroids chirping SO loudly last night that I could hear it over the noise of 3 fans, and oxygen concentrator, and a compressor with a nebulizer on it.  It was like a flipping alarm going off.  A dang CRICKET. 

Doug slept right through it, of course....I was up for probably 45 minutes to an hour searching for the stupid thing.  Yeah, 4:30 in the morning, I'd had about 3 hours of sleep (one of those insomnia nights) and I'm stalking a supersonic cricket.

Sigh.  I love my life I love my life I love my life.....

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