Book Review: Because You Care

" 'I couldn't do what you're doing for him,' a friend says.... You can express that reason in a single sentence: 'I do it because I care.' "

And so begins one of the most touching, beautiful books I have ever read.  I suppose it's especially so because it's about caregivers, like my husband.  Parts of it were difficult to read, almost like I was spying into the mind of my husband, because he has cared for me since the second we were married, and will have to continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Like Cec Murphey and Twila Belk, and so many others to tell their stories in this book, it goes back to their wedding vows:  "In sickness or in health, til death do we part."  They said it, and they meant it.  My husband said it, and he meant it. And I'm so thankful he did.

Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers is a gift book that any caregiver would love.  It's encouraging, it's supportive, it's a little sad without being depressing.  At the end of the book there are practical suggestions for the caregiver.  One of my favorites from MY perspective as one being cared for is, "Don't let the person you love 'become the disease.'  That is, remind yourself that the person is more important than the task."

My favorite for the caregiver is, "Ask for help when you need it.  Don't wait until you are exhausted or sick.  Ask now.  You don't have to be superwoman or superman; you only have to be human."

You can get all the information about the authors and how to get this wonderful book by clicking HERE.

Oh, and I would be remiss if I failed to mention the amazing photography by Betty Fletcher in this book.  It is truly stunning.

Over A WEEK???

Oh my GOSH you guys....I can't believe it's been over a week since I posted.  That is INEXCUSABLE!  I WILL do better.  Homeschooling is a LOT more time consuming than I ever anticipated.  Jacob is doing awesome... Our biggest challenge is just sitting still.

Thankfully the main level of our house is basically a circle (IF all the doors are open!) so every once in a while I tell Jacob to just run some laps and get all the wiggles out.  He is just NOT a sit-still kind of child.  That and the whole "quiet" thing.  But it's going well.  Really.  It is.  I'm serious.  I'm not just saying that... LOL

This is Jacob with his bear hat on.  I wanted to get him the cow hat, but he wanted the bear.  He's so stinkin' cute, but lately for pictures all he wants to do is make faces.  So he was roaring here.

This is the view from my front yard.  You can barely see what's left of the burned out trailer that our alcoholic, half-crazed neighbor set on fire in the middle of the night a few years ago.  Yeah, um, this is the same guy that had a goat named Rambo tied to his garage.  AND the one who was carrying a can of ether while smoking a cigar.  Yah.  Not so much in the "brains" department.

And this is what we do with base ten blocks after math lessons....build skyscrapers!  He's so proud!

So that's a bit what's been going on around here...I promise I will do better keeping up with my blog.  I feel kinda crunchy it's been so long.  Where does the time go???

Anywho.  Tomorrow I will be reviewing the book "Because You Care" that was featured in the Blog Tour last week.  Patty Ann Pitterle won the random pick to be entered in the main giveaway.  Good luck Patty!!!

Blog Tour! Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers

I have the privilege of being involved in a blog tour about this book, Because You Care:  Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers  by Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk.

Being chronically ill, I have several caregivers in my life, but my primary caregiver is my wonderful husband Doug.  Doug and I were married for 6 weeks when I ended up in the hospital on life support.  Thank God I improved, but until there is a cure for MG, or God decided to heal me this side of heaven, I will be sick for the rest of my life.

I can't wait to review this book, but for now, here is some information to get you anticipating the rest.

Blurb from back of book

As someone caring for an ill or elderly loved one, you understand that your role can push you to the limit, press on every nerve—and yet fill you with a deep sense of love and peace of mind.

Beloved authors Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk know this too. Beautifully written and full of gentle wisdom, their personal stories of caregiving will help you face some of the ups and downs of your journey.

• Feeling guilty for doing too much, too little, or nothing at all
• Answering other’s well-meaning but insensitive questions
• Watching someone you dearly love suffer or die

Here are the stories from those living the life. Let their encouraging words lift your heart.

Book Excerpt (from the beginning)

This Is Who You Are

From Cec and Twila

Others may call you brave. They’ll use words like noble or sacrificial. They’ll admire and applaud you because you’ve offered your life to make yourself available to someone who needs a long-term caregiver.

“I couldn’t do what you’re doing for him,” a friend says.

You listen to the words your friend speaks, and you like hearing the compliments. Yet as you listen and smile, you don’t see yourself as exceptional. You’re doing the right thing for someone you love, and that gives you peace. You also know the reason you’ve devoted your energies to another person.

You can express that reason in a single sentence: “I do it because I care.” You might say it’s because you love the person, or you may do it because of a strong sense of commitment to God and to your loved one. Regardless of how you express yourself, you’re determined to give yourself as fully as you can.

Some days you may not feel like loving anyone. You get tired, lose your temper, or think of the things you didn’t accomplish. During the worst times, you wish the situation would change. And in those dark moments, you’ve probably prayed, Dear Lord, please take this burden from me.

The situation probably won’t change for a long time—perhaps years. It’s not the kind of life you would have imagined. You probably envisioned living out your years in blissful peace. Caring for your loved one wasn’t part of your dream, but this is the life you have. Despite the moments of sadness, perhaps even regret, your answer remains the same: “I care.”

Taken from:  Because You Care.  Text Copyright © 2012 by Cecil Murphey, Twila Belk.  Artwork Copyright © 2012 by Betty Fletcher. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon.  Used by permission.

Sales Info

Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers

Harvest House Publishers

Gift Book

ISBN 978-0-7369-4328-4

Retail Price: $12.99

Release Date: February 2012

Authors: Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk

Find Us on Facebook:

Because You Care Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Because-You-Care-Spiritual-Encouragement-for-Caregivers/250527628357568

Articles by Twila Belk on Caregiving:

·         Waiting and Wondering: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/04/16/finding-peace/

·         Insensitive Remarks: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/04/17/quick-to-listen-slow-to-speak/

·         Toenail Love: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/04/18/humble-example/

·         Because You Care, You’ll Care for Yourself: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/04/19/to-do-list-for-caregivers/

·         Caregivers Need Encouragement: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/04/20/support-system/

Bios

Twila Belk and Cecil (Cec) Murphey are both long-term caregivers for their spouses. Twila, aka the Gotta Tell Somebody Gal, is a writer and speaker who loves to brag on God. She works fulltime with Cec as his manager, personal assistant, and biggest fan. Cec is a veteran author who has written or co-written more than 125 published books, including the bestsellers 90 Minutes in Heaven (with Don Piper) and Gifted Hands (with Dr. Ben Carson). His books have sold in the millions and have brought hope and encouragement to countless readers around the world. Cec and Twilas’ second co-authored book, Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware (Guideposts Books), released in August 2012.

For more info about Twila, visit www.gottatellsomebody.com.

For more info about Cec, visit www.cecilmurphey.com. 

This is an awesome giveaway!!  Make sure you leave a comment by October 11th, because I have to randomly select one person to enter the main drawing!

 

 

Grand Prize Giveaway Description

·         Book—Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers

·         Book—Hope and Comfort for Every Season

·         Hallmark journal, list pad, and memo pad stack

·         Glade “Angel Whispers” candle

·         Hershey’s Bliss dark chocolate

Instructions to Enter the Grandprize Drawing:

1. Leave a comment about the book or author on the blog post during the blog tour.

2. Each blog tour host will draw one name from those comments to send to the tour coordinator by October 12.

3. The coordinator will put all the names into a drawing, and select a winner, using an online randomizer.

4. The coordinator will notify the blog tour host who submitted the winning name.

The blog tour host will notify the winner and collect the mailing info so the author can send out the prize. 

Top Ten Tuesday

I'm totally copying my friend Angie over at The Jammie Girl today, but she won't mind....  She's linking up to other folks, which you can do by clicking HER link, but she listed ten things that either drove her crazy, or things she does that drive other people crazy.  So. Here's MY list.

1.  People who use their cell phone and/or text while driving.  Especially texting, because they could crash and burn and kill themselves, or worse yet, ME and my family!!  Don't text and drive!!!

2.  People who don't use cruise control while driving long distances on the highway.  You pass them, they speed up and pass you.  Then, because YOU are maintaining your speed and they are not, they inevitably slow down, so you pass them again.  Then, they speed up.....Makes me CRAZY!!!

3.  People who lick their fingers while paging through a book, sorting papers or counting money.  EW!

4.  Insurance companies.  Diagnostic codes.  The whole ball of wax.  The people who work there read from a script, and it couldn't be more obvious.  SO, Mrs. McDingle, you're NOT sorry, you DON'T understand, and you'll NEVER be able to fix it.  At least you get PAID to be on the phone. I do NOT.

5.  Doctors who are constantly late for appointments.  I have pretty decent docs now, but I used to have a GYN who was CONSISTENTLY 40 minutes late for my appointment.  I should rephrase:  I would wait in the waiting room probably 15-20 minutes PAST my appointment time, then I wait in the waiting room for 40 MORE minutes.  Why do they do that?  I'll tell you why:  With this particular doc, I asked to be the FIRST patient of the day so I wouldn't have to wait, even though that meant getting up at the butt crack of dawn to drive an hour to Grand Rapids to be there at 9 AM.  Well.  I got there at 8:50 for my FIRST APPT of the day, at 9AM, and I was patient number EIGHT on the sign in list.  So not only did he start seeing patients at 8 not 9, but he booked EIGHT patients an HOUR!!!  THEN not longer after I fired him, there was a big write up in the paper about this doc and how he had just added this amazingly plush, luxurious THEATER ROOM to his mansion.  Um, yah.  Now YOU'RE crazy too, aren't you???

6.  This should be number one.  People who don't do what they SAY they do or are going to do.  For example:  "I will do the dishes."  And there they sit.  Or "I hate people who $#$%&%$ swear."  Or, "I'll call you tomorrow" and the phone doesn't ring for 2 months.  I have a VERY simple solution for this:  Say what you mean, and mean what you say.  If you do those two things, you will never have this problem.

7.  Okay, I should probably find SOMETHING about ME that drives other people crazy.....  I use way too many !!!! and .... in my writing.  I'm a grammar Nazi to other people, but I KNOW my writing is technically quite flawed.

8.  I am extremely opinionated, and vocal about those opinions.  I have no problem telling people what I think when asked, and sometimes, if I feel strongly enough about something, even if I'm not asked.  I can't help myself.  I have a big mouth, and many time stick my nose where it doesn't belong.  Sometimes it's helpful, other times, not so much.

9.  It takes me FOREVER to get ready to go somewhere.  This drives ME crazy, but I  know it drives my hubby crazy too.  I have to get up, do my breathing treatment or steam, clean my trach, do my hair, do my make-up, pack my suction bag and any other medical garbage I might need, and it take usually like 2 hours to do this.

10.  I bounce my leg all the time.  I don't know why my MG doesn't effect this....but I have the ball of my right foot touching the floor, and just bounce my leg super fast.  I do this subconsciously at lot, and all of the sudden Doug will be like, "Will you STOP???"  And I'm like stop what???

SO....what makes YOU crazy????

Tired Me!

But it's a good tired.  I got SOOO much done today.  My house is {almost} clean!  Jacob is hilarious... He comes in and says, "Can I help you Momma?"  So I'm like, sure!  I hand him a wipe and asked him to do the front of the fridge. So he does....everything on the front of the fridge, including the pictures he's colored for me, the magnets, etc.  I HAD to laugh.

So I told him, "No honey, just like the handles, and any spots you see."

So he swiped at a spot by the handle a couple of times, and says, "Okay mom, is that good?  Did I help ya?  Can I get a green tag now?"

K.  So let me 'splain the green tags.  I remember my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Visser, handed out green and red tags just made from constuction paper.  Every month or so, she had a "classroom store" where we could "spend" our green tags.  So I decided to do the same thing with Jacob.  (I can't remember what the red tags meant...must have never gotten any!) HA!

So not only does Jacob get green tags for behaving during school, he gets them when he goes out of his way to be helpful, kind, or really obedient....

Only problem now is that he thinks he can get one for doing one little thing.  Hilarious.  The school store is stocked though....now I just have to figure out "prices."  Oh, and the red tags for him are 10 minutes earlier to bed.  So he does NOT like red tags.  The red tags are only during school, or if we are doing something where he is required to be on task and following instructions.  He's only gotten ONE so far! : )

Anyway.  School is going well....it's a little more work than I thought it would be, because I want to do it the way I would if I was in a classroom, just on a smaller scale.  We are studying ants right now.... Starting with the verse in Proverbs 6:6 "Go to the ant, you sluggard.  Consider her ways and be wise."

I made an ant out of cardstock, made a gabillion ants on construction paper, traced them with marker, cut them out of the paper, laminated them, then cut them out again.  That's what I would have done for a classroom.  So I did it for Jacob.  Yikes.

Then I remembered I had a bunch of cutouts from COLLEGE (yes, college, which was 18 years ago...) I literally have construction paper cutouts from 18 years ago.  A bunch of us in the teaching program went to this library that had a gigantic punch that you could make almost anything with: kites, turkeys, apples, trains, buses, etc.  So I laminated a boatload of that for later.

Anyway, this post is all over the place, like me.  Half way through writing this, I went out to drive the tractor and hay wagon so Doug could load up the last of the hay.  Oh what fun!  Also helped paint the outside of the mudroom so it's yellow now, like the house (it had been white siding so we got paint to match....perfectly!), did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, stove (not oven) tea kettle, microwave, toaster, did the dishes, made pasta salad for supper tonight, vacuumed the whole bottom floor of the house, dusted the living room and dining room....

All so I can sleep tonight.  And I'm telling you. I am going to SLEEP!

I hurt from head to toe.  But it's a good hurt, because it's from working.  And it feels GREAT!  Painful, but great.  Yes, I know I'm weird.  But that's why ya love me!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

Gary- The "foreman" on the job

 This is Gary.  Gary is a rock star in the building world.  Well, to ME he is anyway. And to my family, and especially our dog Moose.  Moose wanted to adopt Gary, but Gary has his own home and family, so it was a no-go.  The day after Gary left, Moose sat in the window with his chin on the sill waiting....so sad!

Gary is a volunteer for the SKILL Ministry through Love INC.  This is a quote from Sue Flowers, my liason (and friend) at Love INC, Hamilton.

"“SKILL” is an acronym for “Showing Kindness in Labors of Love.”  This is a home repair ministry which gives assistance to qualified individuals and families by enlisting the skill and labor of volunteers from our Church Network and communities.  Love INC has pursued SKILL Ministries because we believe in its Biblical stance and practical application for those in need.

 

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity, how can the love of God be in him?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 

I John 3:17"

Jeff from JRB Properties Management

 This is another volunteer, who has his own business, JRB Properties Management LLC, who came over with two of his guys for a day and got LOADS of siding put up.  I am STILL completely overwhelmed at the generosity of time these men gave my family.

Jeff's crew

Doug, Gary (back) Bob (behind Gary) and Jeff's guys all working on my home

 There was another crew here, Scott's Siding out of Dorr, that also volunteer with the SKILL Ministry at Love INC.  They did not ask me to mention their names or businesses, but I sure would love it if you would seek out these businesses should you ever need services like this done.  I think it's amazing that these men took time out of their workweeks to volunteer their services to help my family.  So if you ever need siding or other contractor-type stuff done, please give these guys a call.  They deserve the business.

Moose was never far from Gary's side!

 I didn't get any great pictures of Bob, (the gentleman in the light blue shirt) who also worked an entire day on our home.  He was on the roof of the mudroom, going up and down ladders.... He volunteers for several ministries through Love INC, including a jail ministry, which most of you know is close to my heart.  

I'm just so, so thankful for all of these people, and for Sue Flowers, and Love INC in Hamilton.  They have been so wonderful to me and my family, making my house safer for me to live in. All I was really asking for was for some help for Doug (who would never ask himself!) to scrape and paint the house.  And this is what I got.  Reminds me of Ephesians 3:20-21: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

If you would like to make a donation to this amazing ministry, please send it to:
Love INC of NW Allegan County 
P.O. Box 36 
Hamilton, MI 49419 

Please write “SKILL DKS” in the memo so that the funds go to this awesome group so they can keep helping people.

 

Isn't it gorgeous??  And get this...the name of the siding?  "Providence Yellow."  I LOVE IT!

Sigh.  I've always wanted a yellow house! 
Oh, you can donate financially to Love INC, but they are always looking for volunteers too! 
Call 1-269-751-2533 for more information.

 So to Love INC, Gary, Jeff, Bob, and all the other volunteers that put their time and energy into this project, thank you.  Thank you for making my home a safer place for me to live and breathe.  Thank you for making my house more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.  But MOST of all, thank you, THANK YOU for being the hands and feet of Jesus.

The House...Part Three

I know, I know, you just want to see the finished product. But what's the fun in that?  Isn't the journey the destination anyway?? HA! 

Yes, that's my darling up there, on the ladder, by himself, hanging and nailing on the house wrap because he's completely a wee bit impatient and can't wait on help.  I tell ya what, the noise of a hammer bang bang banging on your house all day long is enough to make you CRAZY.  However, it IS better than SIX hammers.....

Doug really made remarkable progress.... I would go out every so often and look....and go back in, because he always makes me nervous when he's on the ladder!

I know!  Looks like a present, huh?  Oh, and if you look carefully, you can see Jacob's elephant on the front porch, looking to get it.  Yes, he made that himself.  Daddy helped with a few nails, but he designed it and made most of it.

Here's a better look...found a picture of it!  The apple does not fall far from the tree, for sure!

So here is a tiny sneak peak....Tomorrow I will tell you about the AMAZING, wonderful, talented volunteers from Love INC's SKILL Ministry that came to help Doug side the house, and of course, I will have more pictures.