My precious Jacob

I was looking at Jacob yesterday afternoon, and was just STRUCK by how adorable he is. It seems like at least once a day I look at him and think, "I can't believe I get to keep him!" This amazing child is part of ME! He must have gotten a lot from Doug, because I see things in him that I don't see in myself. He is amazing. He is fearless. He is strong. He is carefree. He loves without condition. He attacks life. He goes full tilt until he collapses into sleep. And God decided to bless me with him. Wow.

We were painting yesterday, and oh my goodness does this child love to paint. He usually starts on paper, but then he just can't help but put his hands in it. (By the way, Crayola washable paint is just that, washable! I thought I had ruined clothes many a time, but it truly washes right out!)

So he starts on the paper, then starts the "splatter method"---smacking his paintbrush down into a big ol puddle of paint. Last night, after completely splattering his face, and thoroughly covering his hands, he started "smooshing" his cheeks. (He will do this to me...put one hand on each side of my face and smoosh.) Then the paintbrush usually starts going up his nose. And that's right before the hands go in the hair. So whenever we paint, we know bathtime is not far away.

I still don't know what I did to deserve this amazing child. Last night after he fell asleep I was just staring down at him in his crib. Angels can't be as beautiful. My heart just bursts with love for this child. I can't imagine my life without him.

Another perfect example of how God's plans prevail. If Doug and I had been successful with the in vitro 4 1/2 years ago, it would not have been Jacob that Lynelle carried for us. And while I know I would have loved that baby just as much, I can't FATHOM not having Jacob just the way he is. I remember how devastated I was when I didn't respond to the fertility drugs. It seemed then, of course, that everywhere I looked someone was pregnant, or just had a child. I couldn't imagine why God wouldn't let this work.

But now I know. Jacob was my planned child. God knew exactly what kind of baby, what kind of child I would need to be able to take care of him while Doug was at work. I'm so thankful that MY plans didn't work out.

Jacob, my sweet, sweet boy....Mommy loves you more than you could ever know. You stole my heart from the moment I knew I carried you. And I imagine it will be yours until the day I die.