Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Very Personal

This will be probably one of my most personal posts ever. It regards the most sensitive, painful issue I have dealt with in life: My weight. I debated and debated over sharing this, but 1. I finally have good news, and 2. If there are other people out there, I want you to know you're not alone.

Okay, it doesn't take an Einstein to realize I'm overweight. Being on as much medication as I am on doesn't help. However, I am obssessed with food. I always have been. As far back as I can clearly remember (back to 4 years old) food has been the focal point in my mind. Not on purpose, not like, "oh, I'm going to think about food all day long." It's just always been there. When I was 4 years old, we celebrate Thanksgiving at my Grandpa and Grandma's house. Before we ate, we all went around and said what we were thankful for. Some were thankful for Jesus, others for family, or whatever...I was thankful for food. And everyone laughed at the cute little fat girl who loved food. But it never changed. And it stopped being funny.

I was a chubby toddler, a chubby kid, a chubby teen, a chubby adult, you get the picture. While I'm of short stature, I have always been one of the biggest people in the room. Before I go on, let me clarify that I am NOT a person to go through the drive thru and order 6 Big Macs, 4 large fries and a diet coke. I ate normally most of my life. I snacked more probably, and may have eaten some things "skinny" people wouldn't. But the point is, I didn't set out to be fat my whole life. But the biggest difference, I'm starting to think, is the way I thought about food.

I tried every diet out there...you name it I've tried it. All the pills, powders, potions, vitamins and low-carb, no-carb, low-fat blah blah blah. If I did manage to lose 15 or 20 pounds, it came right back on and then some the second I stopped eating like a bird.

Now add in my medical problems, and all the medicaton I'm on: Myasthenia gravis prohibits any repetitive activities...like solid exercise. Being diabetic and on insulin makes it harder to lose weight. Being on anti-depressants can make you gain weight, as does the Prednisone. I was getting so desperate that I was looking into bariatric surgery. And believe me, after all the stuff I've been through medically, elective surgery IS NOT on the top of my list. But as I said, desperation had definitely set in. I found out however, I'm not even a candidate for this type of surgery, because I take too much medication. Not only would my new stomach fill up with the pills, they wouldn't absorb normally.

So I was really feeling like there was just no solution. I was gaining because of the prednisone, and it seemed like there was no way out. Talk about depressing.

And then.... {cue angelic music}

I went to the diabetic doctor. I got on the scale and started bawling as soon as I got into the waiting room. (And you can hold your breath forever cuz I ain't tellin!) The doc came in, and I was trying to hold it together but I just couldn't. I told her how depressed I was because of my weight, and how at wits' end I was. She says, well..."I don't normally bring this up with someone whose blood sugar is in such good control. But since YOU brought it up, there's this medication called Symlin. It's a hormone that you use with insulin, and it slows down the digestion of food, causing you to feel full longer, and you feel full faster when you eat. It also does something to the central nervous system that inhibits appetite, and helps your liver to produce less glucogen. A lot of people have lost weight taking it."

I was like....huh? For real? What kind of medication helps you eat less and feel full longer, and why has no one told me about this before??? Weight loss??? Can I start 10 minutes ago??

Long story short (I know, too late)...I'm on the Symlin. It's a shot, 3 times a day, before meals. I started last Wednesday. As of yesterday morning...I have lost.......


I can't believe it works! I take it 15-30 minutes before I eat, and I'm eating less than half of what I used to. I feel full longer, I'm on about 1/2 the insulin I was on a week ago, and the BEST part for me, is that I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT FOOD! I don't think about it, I don't dwell on it... I don't count down the minutes til I can eat again...my stomach growls and I think, oh, I guess I should eat now.

Unless you have this problem, you really can't understand the relief. The freedom. The overwhelming gratitude for having this obssession lifted from me! I have been praying for so long. For something to work. To give me the strength to exercise, the self-discipline to not eat. I would go on a "healthy eating plan" and be so hungry. SO crabby. (Doug can attest to that!) I think the only time I'm crankier is when I'm really hot...if I'm hot AND hungry...yikes. I think my head spins around.

Doug and I were in the car on Saturday and I just broke down. I looked at him with happy tears streaming down my face and said, "Can you imagine I might dare to be thin?" I've NEVER been thin. I'll settle for healthier! But serioulsy....to NOT be the biggest person in the room...you can't imagine. I honestly don't care what I weigh or what size I wear...although it would be nice to be able to walk into ANY store and buy clothes!

So anyway....this is a lot of information for me to share, but I have a feeling there are more people out there like me...Now you can't get Symlin if you're not diabetic. But chances are, if you're extremely overweight, you have sugar problems. So if you DO...ask your doctor about Symlin! The shots are no big deal...I HATE needles, but the outcome is SO worth it. Sometimes it stings a little bit, but the needle is really tiny.

This is going to change my entire life.
Thank you God!!!


Mimi said...

What a great story! As I suffer from bi-polar/depression I take the meds that hinder my weight loss to. I'm about 50 lbs. overweight and doing Nutrisystem right now to deal with it.

6 lbs. is a great achievment, but conquering your obsession with food is even better! Congratulations.

Joanna said...

Woo hoo!! Go you!!

I told my MIL about it and she's going to bring it up to her doc.

Young Wife said...

I am so glad it's working for you!

Rachel said...

How wonderful! I'm glad you found a helpful medication.

Twincerely,Olga said...

hi! That ia just fantastic!!!! 6 plus lbs!!Woo~Hoo!!! you rockin it girl!! I loat alot of weight with W,W and I feel great!!! Now it's your turn!!I am so excited for you!!

Twincerely,Olga said...

meant to say that your very beautiful too

Joy said...

That's wonderful news! And WTG for talking about it.

Congrats on your SITS day!

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