Thursday, April 21, 2011

No Bull?

Well, yesterday's treatment was pretty horrible, so we're just going to go to the funny part of the day.

We got a cow named Chuck. (So yes, when he lays down he is Ground Chuck). Well. He is supposed to be a steer. I always thought a steer was just a cow with horns. So for the rest of you uneducated city folk (like me!), apparently a girl cow is a heifer. A BOY cow that no longer has his boy parts is a STEER. A boy cow that HAS all of his boys parts is a BULL. Those are the things you see in the PBR-8-second-bull-riding shows. (The BULL not the parts!!!!!)

Well. Our cow has a cough. Yes, a cough. First the $#@$# dogs, and now the cow. WHAT ever. So after another $90 flippin' dollars to combat said cow cough, our loving friend Shawn's son Kyle came over to administer aforementioned $90 medication because 1. it has to be injected, 2. Kyle used to work on a cow farm, 3. Doug had no idea what to do, and 4. Kyle had to help "catch" the thing before he could inject it.

SO. I have to say at this point I am HORRIBLY saddened that I did not see this take place, it is only a vicarious telling. {sigh} I miss ALL the good stuff.

First, when we get home from my horrific treatment, Doug goes out with Jacob to build some kind of cow container. A stall of sorts, quickly assembled. Kyle comes over, Jacob and I are eating supper....never heard a thing.

Doug comes back in after a while, and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Kyle said make sure Jacob NEVER EVER EVER goes by that cow. He said it was rank." Now, I happened to know that "rank" doesn't mean stinky in this case, but MEAN. (I know that from my short-lived fascination with bull-riding).

Then he proceeds to tell me how he got head-butted by the cow, kicked by the cow, and how Kyle narrowly escaped being charged by jumping OVER the cow somehow. (Again, I'm almost weeping that I missed the show). I think Shawn said it was 4 or 5 times that Kyle got pushed around by this "rank steer" who Kyle REALLY thinks is a BULL.

OF COURSE it is. The thing charged the electric fence for crying out loud! And the best part?? We get to do shots for FIVE more days! Today, even if I have to wheel myself to the window, I will be watching. Doug is going to Shawn's to get some gates that they use to box in the animal that needs medication, and then Kyle and his sister Tiffani are coming over. Tiffani will be on her HORSE, and rope the cow's back legs, while Kyle ropes the front, and somehow is going to check to see if his boy parts are still there.

Anyone who has known me for a long time is probably rolling on the floor by now.

So if it IS a bull, we will either bring it back to the auction place and get a REAL steer, or if it's just a rank steer, we will make a small SMALL pen until he calms down. Then we'll just fatten the sucker up as fast as possible and Chuck will be, well, chuck!

One thing to say if you have me in your life in any way: NEVER a dull moment.


Rachel said...

HOLY COW BAT GIRL!!!! What kind of animals do you guys have in Michigan. It sounds like that crazy rooster all over again!!!

Ground Chuck, Ground Sirloin, Porter House, you could always call him T-Bone!! Do you know how to tan a hide? Think of all the cool things you could make!!!

I'm sorry, I just can't help myself today :o) :o)

Joanna said...

I hope you know I am laughing. Poor Kyle! He didn't know what he was getting into.

Why do I have a feeling round 2 is gonna be good? ;)

Sorry treatment didn't go well.

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

I'm really sorry about the treatment going badly. That is just too, too, hilarious a mental image you've painted. I so wish I was there to see that.

Last week our bull charged the pickup but that now seems dull compared to Chuck.

Take pictures!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Karen Mortensen said...

That was funny. Thanks. I hope next time you take a video of it.

Patty Ann said...

OH, I so hope you get to watch and that you get to laugh!! You described all the reasons why I don't want to raise a steer. I think the chickens and roosters are just about all the excitement I can stand.

Pam said...

oh my word that is so funny!!! you are so right only you!!! I am thankful that the guys are all ok..God knew that you needed to laugh which is good medicine ya know it says so in Proverbs somehere! stay brave Keri with your treatments, I love you and am praying for you and your family...adding saftey to the things I pray for you! Blessings!

Kerri said...

Rachel, T-Bone is in the freezer!!
Yeah...I'll have to post later about round two. It was EVENTFUL, but unsuccessful.

Joanna, of COURSE I knew you'd be guffawing! Poor Kyle is right! Yikes!

Donna Perugini said...

What! Poor Kyle is right? The auction house made a male mistake??

I won't be involved anytime soon in any meat raising here. A person could get hurt!

Good laugh today!