|photo by disboomer.com|
Okay. I'm tired, and
Moving on to lunch-ish pills: Another 8. Dinner and bedtime: 11 more. So, for those of you without calculators, that's a grand total of 35 pills a day, and that's not including my insulin. So that's 245 pills a week to keep me going. I fill my ginormous pill box once a week, and I dole out 245 pills.
Do you know how sickening that is? No pun intended. At least once a month I contemplate just throwing the whole damn thing away and letting nature take it's course. Seriously. I mean, without modern medicine I wouldn't be alive. So how far do I push it?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not like, all into Obama-care where you stop getting medication when you're 70 because you're old and useless by then, and have taxed the system enough with your sorry self (can ya tell I'm a fan???), but I'm just asking MYSELF the question: How much do I do?
Right now, the answer has to be "As much as I can." I have a child. I don't want him growing up without a Mommy. Sometimes, to be frank (and ernest!) it just plain SUCKS. I take Calcium and large quantities of Vitamin D to prevent further bone loss. I take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds (well, I needed the anti-depressants before MG, that's just a chemical thing)...because I'm so stressed out all the time and have to subject myself to all these treatments and tests and appointments...
I take stomach medication so I don't get ulcers from all the other medication I have to take. I take a medication that people that have organ transplants take (so they won't reject their new organ) to suppress my immune system. It could kill me. But if I didn't take it, along with the plasmapheresis, I would die. NO I am not kidding, or being facetious or exaggerating. I. Would. Die.
It all gets so exhausting sometimes. Honestly. Sometimes I just want to rest.