Monday, June 25, 2012

Is This How Caregivers Feel?

I always tell people I'm glad I'm the sick one.  When I had to watch my baby boy struggle to breath and be intubated, have an IV in his tiny little forehead... It was hell.  Truly.  I can't HANDLE seeing people I love hurt.  It breaks my heart.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been a hyper-compassionate person.  I remember once my cousin was being disciplined and I was the one crying...for him. I see a person on the street, in need, and my heart just breaks for them.  I think of all the people in prison who are trying desperately to change but have NO support, and it breaks my heart.

I wonder if sometimes that's how our caregivers feel.  My husband is so stoic.  But on the inside...I wonder.

These are the lyrics to a song called "Permanent" by David Cook.  If you are an American Idol fan you will recognize the name.  His brother had cancer in his brain, and he died from it.  I think it was his younger brother, but I am not sure.

I was a fan of David Cook from the audition phase, and think he's an incredible artist.  If you've never heard this song, I would highly suggest finding it on youtube or something and listening.  It's haunting.  It's beautiful.

Permanent by David Cook

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry.
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent

I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/david-cook-lyrics/permanent-lyrics.html ]

2 comments:

MDavidson said...

I can tell you, as a caregiver and a mother, I would give anything to take the pain and disability on myself. That I can't is the second worst thing in my life. The worst thing is that my daughter has MG.

MDavidson said...

I can tell you, as a caregiver and a mother, I would give anything to take the pain and disability on myself. That I can't is the second worst thing in my life. The worst thing is that my daughter has MG.