Pardon me while I think out loud for a minute here. It's about time I list things I'm thankful for, because right now, I honestly would rather go into a corner and feel sorry for myself. My frustration level last night was about 90%...I have so much in my brain that I want to be doing. After all, my brain is still "normal." My mind is the same (well, ALMOST) as it was 15 years ago before I got sick. And it simply WILL NOT COOPERATE with my broken body. It refuses to accept, once and for all, that this illness has changed me. ALL of me.
I'm not sure how you can live with something for 15 years and not accept it. It's like every day I wake up, my brain just firing away at all of the things I want to do...and then it hits me again. "I can't" never used to be in my vocabulary; now it is necessary. I don't REALLY wish I had had MG my whole life, because I've done lots of cool things...but it's SO hard to lose something as vital as your independence.
I AM THANKFUL
* that God loves me whether I am able bodied or ill, and as Jacob would say, "He loves us even when we're naughty."
*that my husband has taken care of me for our entire marriage, that he has stood by me whether on the mountaintop (literally) or in the hospital bed
*that my son is healthy and smart and beautiful inside and out, that on my worst day, he can look at me with those adoring, big blue eyes and say, "I love you Mommy" and everything is right in the world again
*for friends who truly love me, who help me when I need it, and encourage me
*for pastors and laypeople who call to check on me and see how I am doing
*for my family, parents, sisters, brother, nieces and nephews, in-laws...I am blessed to have them
*for our first family vacation only 35 days away!!!
*for technology that allows me to keep in touch with people I would otherwise never talk to
*for my husband's stable job!!!
*for soldiers who willingly sacrifice everything for my freedom---God bless you and your families!
*for people who read my blog and encourage me with lovely comments! : ) (Sorry, couldn't help myself!)
God Bless everyone reading this...may 2010 be YOUR best year!