Comedy of Errors

So I just got done scrubbing the stick from flypaper from my neck, ear, and hair. Why, you ask? Because I was reaching for Jacob's butterfly cage, and forgot it was there. That's how I spent my first 30 minutes of "alone time" with Jacob and Doug out in the field chopping wood and collecting butterflies. Oh, dontcha just wish you could be me??


Here's kind of how the rest of the day went: (Remember that stress exacerbates my disease, and I've had arcing power lines for 4 1/2 days).


(This is like those TV dramas that show you the end of the program, then take you back to an earlier time and start over)....


Eight hours earlier...
At 8:30 this morning I called Consumer's for what I was determined to be the LAST time, and told them if they were not out here by noon I would be calling 9-1-1. They took a FOURTH work order, this being my SEVENTH call in FIVE days. They told mea truck had been dispatched. Yah. I've heard that one before.

OH….and my DIRECTV froze. AGAIN. So I called the repair guy who told me to call him directly if I had problems. We had problems all right. He had said he would be out between one and two.


Noon came and went…I even gave Consumer's an extra 10 minutes. No show. So, I called 9-1-1. Firemen from two different departments came out. Amazingly, a Consumer’s truck freed up within 35 minutes of the firemen’s request to come to my house and fix the arcing wires.

I was explaining to the firemen (oh my goodness they made me feel old. The first 2 here could definitely have been my sons! Even the 2nd lieutenant could have, probably.) They were all kind of like, okay lady, we’ll call Consumer’s for ya. THEN the wire popped three times in quick succession. They ran to the tree and looked for fire. I was like “MMMMMmmmmmmmmmm-Hm!” {You have to make sure you are sliding your head side to side from the neck only as you say this.}


They told me to shut my main breaker off until Consumer's came. All of the sudden I was like, CRAP! We have no power right now! I have to call off the DIRECTV repairman! So I called him again. Hopefully he will come tomrrow. We hav had NOTHIG but grief with this whole thing.

So Consumer’s came (about 35-40 minutes after the fire dept. called them) and fixed the popping and arcing. FINALLY. There originally were 3 wires, 2 of which were being compressed by the tree branches. They took those down, and replaced it with NEW wire, three strands twisted. By the time they actually started the "fix" it took about 25 minutes. Oh, I'm so glad I waited five days on pins and needles, on the verge of a panic attack waiting for this long, drawn out fix. RIGHT.


In the middle of all this, a gentleman who had stopped at our garage sale several times asking about a plastic children’s slide pulled into my driveway and came to the door. I was like, if this guy asks about the dang slide I’m going to kick him in the chops. This would be no small feat for the man was about 6' tall and looked like a very large linebacker. Nope. He wanted the plow truck. I had to call Doug at work. Again. He said fine, sell it for $x amount and keep the new engine. So Slide Man told me he’d be back in 30 minutes. That was over an hour ago. I had to dig up the keys and find the title to a truck we haven’t driven in 10 years. Nice.


I also had to call Apria this morning, because the new oxygen concentrator they brought me Thursday morning in exchange for the old one stopped working half way through the night. So not only am I dealing with all this garbage today, but it’s on poor quality sleep. Not enough oxygen. I just want to scream! But I don’t have the energy. (NO PUN INTENDED!)


Good thing Doug got home before the Slide Man turned Pickup Man came back, because I had gotten the wrong title out of the safe. See, I told you I didn't have enough oxygen last night!!


What a day. My nerves are so keyed up I could about puke. Give me a bottle of Oxygen, a fifth of Tequila and call me in the morning.