Tuesday, September 28, 2010

One Tough Thing

One really tough thing for me, as I have mentioned before, is dealing with Jacob sometimes. And it's not behavioral-wise, it's like, "Mommy, can we go outside and play?" And I'm having a terrible day and in tons of pain and can't do anything, for sure not go outside. And I have to say no to that face. Could you say no to this face??


Yeah, I know. Me either. It's so hard. He is exceptionally understanding for just 4. But it breaks my heart and makes me angry that he KNOWS what a hospital is, and that Mommy IS different from other Mommies, and that I have to take 20+ pills a day. Who wants their child to have that experience?

I'm done asking why when it comes to me, but I still struggle with Jacob sometimes. He asks God to make me better, and we talk about heaven when I will be able to run and play like every other Mommy.

Sometimes he digs his little elbows in just the wrong way on my legs...oh my GOSH. The pain is excruciating. It's all I can do to stop the reflex of grabbing him and pulling him off. I NEVER want him to feel unwanted.

So...for all you experts out there....how the heck to I allow a 4 year old to be physical without going outside or playing with him? We have a trampoline inside, but that doesn't usually last too long. He needs rough and tumble stuff.

Anywho. Thanks once again for listening to the whine. Next time I'll try to have some cheese to serve with it! : )

14 comments:

bluewhitelife said...

I vote for a padded room. We were usually outside, but during the winter months we usually attacked each other in the basement, haha. We also did a ton of sports (where other people other than our parents got to play with us and parents just cheered) Of course, you'd have to be feeling okay enough to get him to practice and whatnot. Oh yea, and Wii Sports Resort is awesome. Like I'm 25 and still enjoy playing it (I've also perfected bowling without even getting out of my chair...)

Sarah Beth said...

What a sweet picture! I love it!

Karin said...

If you're up to it, maybe you could take him to the local animal shelter & let him play with the animals. They'd all love it. Of course, that would lead to the inevitable, "Mom, could we pleeeeeze have a puppy?" So you'd have to be prepared...but, it would allow him some rough & tumble time. Just a thought. Good luck with turning down such a face.

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

Oh! I don't know how I'd say no to that face. Is it possible to build him an enclosed area in the yard with swings and a sandbox or whatever where he could play outside but still be safe? You could maybe watch him from the window.

Cheers :-)
- Rainforest Mommy

Young Wife said...

I have no ideas. Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you.

Rachel said...

I struggle with the same thing with William. It breaks my heart. I can still remember clearly a day when he was just 2 1/2 and we were outside in front of the apartments. It was getting too hot outside for me, and I needed to get back in the air conditioning. Other children started to come out to play just as we were going inside. William cried because he wanted to play with the children (a rare treat). But I couldn't stay outside with him. He was so obedient, and he came in with me. But it broke his heart, and it broke mine too.

That was just one of many times that we have had to miss out on playing with others or doing something fun. It's a hard road, and sometimes there are still tears. I can see the Lord growing in William a tender and caring heart. He is sensitive to my needs.

We have taught William that he has to be gentle with Mommy, but that he can wrestle and pillow fight with Daddy. He knows that he has to play quietly if I am in the living room. If he wants to be noisy in his playing, then he needs to go to his bedroom.

I try to do special things with William when I can. We like to play Candy Land, watch movies, draw, and read. A lot of times William also plays by himself, but I'm there for him to show off what he built with Legos or Lincoln Logs. He likes to run around the apartment like Dash (from The Incredibles) or other super heros. He does flips and tumble stuff on the big living room chair. He rolls up in blankets or makes forts. None of that is as rough and tumble as wrestling with his dad, but it does allow him to be creative and a little bit active.

Sometimes William goes over to a neighbor's house to play. We are so blessed to live in an apartment complex with lots of families, and so there are quite a few playmates around.

I wish you lived next door to me. It would be so nice to be able to get together for a play date with a mom and son who face challenges similar to those we do.

And now that I have written a post here in the comment section, I'll be quiet. :)

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Rachel said...

I'm so sorry! That posted a gajillion times! :(