Dear Mr. Sandman,
Okay. This is like my third letter to you in as many months. What is UP?? My child did not sleep well last night. In fact, it was like you weren't even here! Do I need to speak to your supervisor?
It's winter. It's going to snow. Settle down.
Sick of the Hype
Dear People who Live in States Where it Snows in the Winter:
It's winter. It's going to snow! You don't HAVE to go to the grocery store and stock up on toilet paper and water. The store will be there tomorrow after the plows come out. You don't need to fill up every gas can you've ever owned either, unless you're planning to use them immediately. You see, when it's cold, and there's lots of precipitation, it's going to be snow.
Remember when we were little? We put bread bags on over our socks and shoved them in out boots to keep them dry. Then we walked to school. Uphill. Both ways. With no mittens. Or hats or scarves, Or even jackets sometimes. Okay, you get the point...But we DID walk.
Confused Over Why People Think Snow In February is a Peculiarity in Michigan
Dear People Who DRIVE in States Where it Snows in the Winter:
Every year it's the same thing! The first time it snows, hundreds of people go off the road. You've lived here for 25 years. Can you not recall the first snowfall from last year? How about the last? Here's a little clue for ya: When snow falls on the road, it's going to get slick and icy. Cars+slick and icy= SLOW DOWN OR CRASH.
It's not rocket science people.
Perplexed at Poor Driving
Dear Plow Truck Driver,
I must say I am very impressed with you so far this year. Our taxes actually went up last year for "road improvements" and I believe they are actually using the money appropriately! You ARE still part of the government, though, so I retain the right to take that back. Thank you for plowing my road before the 4th day after the storm. You ROCK!
Your Biggest Fan