Friday, February 4, 2011

Random Letters

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Okay. This is like my third letter to you in as many months. What is UP?? My child did not sleep well last night. In fact, it was like you weren't even here! Do I need to speak to your supervisor?

Sincerely,
Sleepy Mom


Dear Weathermen:

It's winter. It's going to snow. Settle down.

Sincerely,
Sick of the Hype



Dear People who Live in States Where it Snows in the Winter:

It's winter. It's going to snow! You don't HAVE to go to the grocery store and stock up on toilet paper and water. The store will be there tomorrow after the plows come out. You don't need to fill up every gas can you've ever owned either, unless you're planning to use them immediately. You see, when it's cold, and there's lots of precipitation, it's going to be snow.

Remember when we were little? We put bread bags on over our socks and shoved them in out boots to keep them dry. Then we walked to school. Uphill. Both ways. With no mittens. Or hats or scarves, Or even jackets sometimes. Okay, you get the point...But we DID walk.

Sincerely,
Confused Over Why People Think Snow In February is a Peculiarity in Michigan


Dear People Who DRIVE in States Where it Snows in the Winter:

Every year it's the same thing! The first time it snows, hundreds of people go off the road. You've lived here for 25 years. Can you not recall the first snowfall from last year? How about the last? Here's a little clue for ya: When snow falls on the road, it's going to get slick and icy. Cars+slick and icy= SLOW DOWN OR CRASH.

It's not rocket science people.
Sincerely,
Perplexed at Poor Driving


Dear Plow Truck Driver,

I must say I am very impressed with you so far this year. Our taxes actually went up last year for "road improvements" and I believe they are actually using the money appropriately! You ARE still part of the government, though, so I retain the right to take that back. Thank you for plowing my road before the 4th day after the storm. You ROCK!

Sincerely,
Your Biggest Fan

6 comments:

Donna Perugini said...

That's right, even if all the food is gone from the stores you can still lure the neighbor's dog over. You know, just to pet him...
Gotta love those plow drivers. When we lived in N.Indiana, I was out shoveling heavy snow and ice when the driver came by my drive way and asked if I wanted help? Of course was the answer and he backed his truck up the driveway..put down the blade and got rid of all the snow! He was an angel! Did anyone else get the same help near me? Nope...they weren't outside shoveling.

Patty Ann said...

Oh yeah, it is amazing to me how crazy people get in the winter storm. I especially love the ones who drive with their cruise controls on when the road is icy and white. It is totally amazing!

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

ahahaha! I love this!

I love how you told the plow trucks they were still the gov't so you could take back a compliment! hahaha!

Glad to see you blogging & feeling better!

Rachel said...

I love "Random Letters" we think these things all the time, it must feel great to put them to paper.

I don't think most areas really get snowbound in this day and age! If you keep your house stocked in normal fashion there should be no problem...I always wonder why people wait until it snows to go buy a shovel (DUH!)

I remember the bread bags in my boots, I did it again recently, I forget to reapply waterproof spray to my boots, didn't have bread bags so I used zip-loc bags instead

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

I've never understood why people forget how to drive in snow from one year to the next either. There were always tonnes of cars on the sides of the roads after the first snowfall in Canada too.

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Audra said...

Hahaha! Those made me laugh! I was born and raised and now live again in the north. During the years we lived in Tennessee, i was amazed at the lack of snow driving skills. One day, with just 2 inches on the ground and quite clear roads, we saw a 4wd suv spinning going UPHILL. This was a Sunday morning. By noon, all the schools were closed - for three days. By dinner time, all the snow had melted.