Friday, May 25, 2012

Garage Sale: Psycho Lady!!!

Okay.  Before I begin, I will tell you that I am not making fun of any TYPE of person.  I am both short in statue and....fluffy. So when I describe the people in this story, do not take offense if you are either, because I am too.

As we begin our story, there is a lovely couple shopping at the garage sale.  I can't remember if their arms were yet full of items, or if it was before the selection process actually began.  So all of the sudden, this tiny woman, maybe 4'11", and very slight, (I mean, thin-as-a-rail, I'm-so-jealous-I-could-spit slight) starts jumping up and down yelling "I have to go!  I have an emergency!  Someone pulled in behind me!  I have an emergency!  I have to go!"

So the only other customers were obviously pulled in behind the woman with the emergency. She  immediately starts walking up the hill to the car to move it.  Now, we have a steep driveway.  I mean steep.  It's not like a walk in the park unless you're a fit, healthy person.  So us fluffy girls, it takes a minute!

In the meantime, Slight Woman becomes more and more agitated.  "I have an emergency!  I have to go!  I have to go!  I need someone to move their car!!"

So all of the sudden, I see Slight Woman turn around by driving through our grass almost into the lilac bushes (and you do NOT mess with my lilacs!), spins out of the gravel driveway and burns rubber down the street.

So the original customer returns to the sale, face red, looking very angry.  I hear, "That psycho just hit my car!"  I was like WHAT?!?!?!  And she was like, "She hit my car!  She backed right into me, and I got out and  told her and she said, 'I didn't hurt anything' and tried leaving again!" (I'm assuming this is when she turned around and spun out in my yard.)

Apparently, Slight Woman had cut off Fluffy Lady to pull in the driveway in the first place, so if she hadn't, all the drama could have been avoided. {Sigh.}  So my dear customer continues shopping, and as she peruses the coffee mugs, she picks one up and without missing a beat says, "That woman needs this mug: 'JUMPY: The Stressed Out Dwarf!'"

{Oh yes she did!}

Oy. What an odd day.  Matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if the Slight Woman isn't the turkey-stalking-dog owner from this story.  I guess I'll never know...the lady did say Slight Woman had about 6 dogs in her car.... Could it be....?

Gotta git for now....last day of the sale.  The "Doug-shooting-me-in-the-neck" story will have to wait til tomorrow. Happy Friday!

1 comment:

misssrobin said...

Wow. I hope she didn't hurt the other lady's car. I'm always amazed at how self-centered people can be.