I am so frustrated with myself right now. I am second guessing so many things. Sometimes, I make mistakes. (Shocking, I know...!) And it takes a while to figure them out. Sometimes, I don't KNOW if I've made a mistake and I'm not sure how to tell.
There have been times, circumstances and situations when I felt like the Holy Spirit was waving a red flag and shouting "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" and I immediately know to stay away, leave, or not do what I was about to.
But there are other times when I'm confused. I ask God to show me the path, and I don't hear anything. Or I make a decision I think I'm 100% right on, that I have God's approval or consent or whatever, and I end up tripping into a brick wall or hitting a dead end and end up with a shattered heart. Like when Doug and I tried in vitro, and were going to use a surrogate. It was perfect. Or so I thought. I felt at peace with God about it, as did everyone else involved. Never had a red flag, warning sign, caution light, nothing.
And it didn't work and my heart was broken.
I can't understand why God doesn't protect us for some things. I mean, I know we have to go through life living in a broken world, and I get that "sin happens", but if you have a good heart, if you really love the Lord, and if you really want to live for him....I don't always get why He stays silent when all He has to do is say "No." Or "Stop." Or "Not such a good idea."
So how do you know? How do YOU know if you're making wise decisions? Ug. Life. I just wish I was an introverted people-hater. Then I'd be perfectly content out in the middle of Egypt with no friends. (Except for the one that's MOVING in a couple of weeks.....)