Alone in a Sea of Women "Just Like Me"

Joanna and I, well, let's face it, have not had great years. And we're not the kinds of people who gloss over issues for others comfort. Last night we went to a group of women meeting together. I got to see my friend Kim who I haven't seen forever. But I walk in with Jo, who has a FAB new do, by the way!!!, and just felt yuck. I was not feeling well to begin with.

But people who have known me for like 6,7,8 years were asking me what was wrong and if there was anything doctors could do about it. I was like, really? I have Myasthenia Gravis, remember?
Oh.....

Anyway, there was a sure highlight and the bit of a lowlight. The lowlight was a few women who spoke about how busy every one's lives are{check.} And that sometimes you just have to remember that not every one's problems are YOUR problems to fix or solve. Two women talked about the same thing. (Testimonial type thing.) And I really do get what they're saying. You can't take the burdens of the world on your shoulders. You can't MAKE some one's burden YOUR OWN. But where in the Bible does it say you don't need to help?

See, this is my frustration. This has been my frustration for 10 years now. I have had this illness for 10 years (well 15, but I was hospitalized 10 years ago...almost died, ect). The woman at that church that had been my best friend told me I was selfish to want help and I needed to repent. This was around the same time that I was so weak I actually fell. off. the. toilet. Yah. But darn my selfishness.

Bear with me a moment: the church I grew up in was not so great from a preaching-teaching standpoint (which is not acceptable.) The music was ho-hum. People piled in the back first. However, when someone had surgery, had a baby, death in the family, the women cooked. They took care of children involved. They had a system in place, and it worked. Do you think my mom, with 5 children in private school had the time or money to do this? Probably not. But she did. Every. Single. Time. But we always had money to pay the bills. There as never a question of "Are we doing anything for so-and-so who just had such-and-such?" It more was like "Who's doing what for so and so when that baby comes?"

And they just did it.

Granted, the chronically ill in a church are probably less than 25%; even less for people like me who are disabled completely by this disease sometimes. And some folks are really good at sticking by ya....for a few weeks. So if these newer churches springing up hither and yon have no structure to begin with, and no plans in place to "feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit the sick and imprisoned," which if I remember correctly is what Jesus commanded us to do.

I never read "make sure you have this program, or that new sound system..." Would a teenager benefit more from going to youth group, playing games, playing music and hearing a message, or from going to a Soup Kitchen once a week and talk to the people there, who may really need Jesus. I'm just sayin'.

It just frustrated me to no end that some women last night will hear what I heard, from Christian women they look up to: If you're stressed, you don't have to take on other's problems. What about Galatians 6:2? 'Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.'

Matthew 25: 35-41 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.

I know I feel strongly about this and I've harped on it before. But from my perspective, it's devastating when you have NO ONE to call to help you with your energetic, rambunctious 4 year old because you can't seem to find a church who will take you in for who you are. When you have ONE person who is willing to watch him almost anytime, but if she's not there...I have been through 3 churches in 10 years who couldn't seem to do this. Two of them even told me told me I was selfish to ask for help. I physcially couldn't care for my self on some days, let alone my child, but I was selfish to take away from someone else's need. Shame on me.

I reconnected with an old friend of the family on facebook, and within a month, she was asking what she could do, and last week brought six frozen meals. (She lives an hour away from me.) I hadn't seen this woman in literally 30 years. I know churches are busy. I've been intricately involved in growing 2 of the 3 we attended. But if the family of God can't be there for you...who will? If you're SO busy and stressed that you can't help a fellow brother or sister in need, maybe you need to take a tough look at your schedule. I know I'll probably ruffle some feathers, but if my point gets across, it will be worth it.

"You've made your point," you say. "So move on." That's just it. I wish I could. There is still no system in place, and in MY Bible, it says it is the believer's job to just do it. I help anyone I can with whatever I can. I may not be able to help you clean your house, we can certainly give you some fresh meat from Doug's latest butchering session. : ) I make and send cards for card ministries, when I'm involved in a church I do what I can from home....so I'm not just saying, here I am, I'm a lump and want to be waited on handand foot. HARDLY. And anyone who REALLY knows me will be laughing right now.

I am fortunate to have 3 friends who really haven't and hopefully won't leave my side, even though they go to different churches. We still don't go yet, because 1. can't figure out where to go, and 2) both Doug and I are skittish. History is supposed to predict the future, so the future tells us there's nothing before us to go to either. So stay in spiritual limbo. And it's very sad, because I feel very, very isolated, and thought that God's children would help us. So if you know someone who needs help, HELP THEM. Yes, pray for them. Maybe even send a card. But a prayer can't chase a 4 year old, and a card can't clean up after said 4 year old goes potty all my himself, and all the good wishes in the world ain't gonna get dinner done.

ANYWHO...on to the fantabulous Melissa Mashburn from Mel's World! She was the guest speaker. She is HILARIOUS, ya'll. I mean put-down-your-drink-secure-any-sharp-objects-funny! It was so fabulous too, that even though she was from Ft Lauderdale she was actually a brunnette! An adorble fluffly, make you pee your pants funny brunette who was so down to earth I wanted to simply kidnap her to stay up here. She and I are alike in that what you see is what you get. I don't wear a mask anymore...I won't put on aires in the hopes of impressing someone...I'm good enough for my God so there ain't nobody on this earth that I need to impress.

It wa truly a pleasure to meet her, and I hope you all go check out here page. It won't be a waste of time, trust me.