Saturday, October 2, 2010

In Memory of Linda...You Are Deeply Missed

Today my heart is heavy once again. Two years ago today, my very best friend had the best moment of her life. I had one of my worst. It was two years ago today that my dear, sweet friend Linda went to be with Jesus. She fought MS for 2 years before a Stage IV cancer diagnosis. She lived 11 months and 1 day after her diagnosis.

Oh, how I miss her.

Linda was the kind of friend EVERY girl needs. She just KNEW me. Half the time I think she knew me better than I knew myself. The phrase “still waters run deep” is a perfect expression to describe Linda. She was quite a “still” personality, but her soul was deep and rich and wonderful.

It’s kind of funny that we were even friends, really. Linda was so quiet! I was (am) so loud! Linda was an introvert for the most part, I am an extrovert. Linda would just go with the flow, I would make waves. She sometimes wouldn’t stand up for herself the way I thought she should, so I would butt in and say something in her defense. She was calm and beautiful in a way no other friend of mine has ever been.

Even though we were quite different, we did have a lot in common. We were both single (for many years of our friendship), we worked together, we loved to eat out (so much easier than cooking!), we both loved to do Creative Memories. We were both insecure. We even had the same middle name! We both dealt with rejection issues, we both loved music and most of all we both loved the Lord.

Linda was the maid of honor at my wedding. Honor is another word that describes Linda well. She truly was one of a kind, and my life will never be the same. There is a hole in my heart that will never quite close; it is smaller than 2 years ago, but I am forever altered by her death.

Before she died, neither of us would admit that we both knew she would. We said our goodbyes slowly. We reminisced over the past 12 years of our friendship…the good and the bad. We only had one fight in 12 years. It was horrible, and we never did it again. We sent “remember when” e-mails back and forth for weeks. It was extraordinary. It was excruciating. It was the beginning of the end here on earth.

Linda was such a part of my life it was like an appendage was severed when she died. I didn’t quite know how to function; it was like she had always been there, and now she was gone…. I was lost.

Although I had grieved for 11 months and 1 day, she was now truly gone. I was reminded again of the pain I experienced when my sister was killed when I was 16. I felt as if another sister had been taken.

I celebrated for Linda however! She was pain free. She would never cry again. She would never feel insecure or rejected again. She would never end up crippled or wheelchair bound from the MS. She would never suffer. Ever, ever again. She would soar. She could finally embody the angel I saw in her all along.

So to my dear Linda: I miss you more than a thousand words could describe. Part of my heart will never heal from the space that was solely yours. But we have hope, sweet friend. I WILL see you again. We will tear up those streets of gold just like we used to tear up the concrete ones down here. Healthy. Whole. Happy.

And together once again.

6 comments:

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

What a lovely tribute to your friend. My deepest condolences!

Cheers :-)
- Rainforest Mommy

Rachel said...

This was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. I rejoice with you that one day you will get to see your dear friend again!

Pam said...

Kerri this is such a special blog aobut someone who was very special to you. I can only imagine how you must miss her. I will never forget the day your sister died, I too am so thankful for the Hope we have of Heaven someday and being with out tears or sorrow & rejoicing throughtout eternity! Love to you!

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

I am crying. This is beautiful. And how wonderful to Linda's memory for her to teach us all how to be better people through her legacy. I'm glad she's no longer in pain, I'm sad that you miss her.

Joanna said...

*sniff* well said.

mub said...

What a lovely tribute to an amazing woman!

Sometimes I think the only thing that gets me through when someone passes away is the knowledge that it's not really "goodbye."