Monday, April 22, 2013

The Drug I Hate to Love


Evil in a little white pill.

Moodiness.  We're not talking run-of-the-mill-PMS moody, we're talking zero to bat shit crazy in 1.5 seconds.  From "Oh what a beautiful day" to "If you say that one more time you are going to regret it for the rest of your life" in the blink of an eye.

From, "Look at my sweet boy-child out there playing ball, having the time of his life" to "If someone doesn't control their obviously A.D.D. potty-mouth bad-attitude disrespectful insolent obnoxiously heinously out of control spawn, lasers are going to blast from my eyes and disintegrate him" in 2.2 seconds.

Coach: "Use your glove to stop the ball."
Said Above Described Monster-Child (screaming): "Why?  I'm gonna use my feet."
Stomps and screams to the back of the rotation, "I HATE BASEBALL!"
Coach (next time wonder boy was up): "Use your glove!"
Coach:  "Settle down!"
Spawn:  "Why?  I HATE BASEBALL!!"

I thought my brain would implode.  Thankfully he was not in Jacob's rotation, so I didn't have to break any bones deal with him talking to or around Jacob that way.  All I can say is that if I had been subjected to that rotten little imp for another 30 seconds....Armageddon.

So what else...oh yes, one of my favorite side effects.  Hunger. So extreme...cravings...ridiculous cravings.  Not like, "Gosh I'm a little hungry, I could use a snack" hungry, but "I'm going to eat this cupcake after this box of crackers and half a pound of cheese and ham slices with homemade bread at 11PM" hungry.

I've already stripped the bark off the mulberry tree with my bare teeth.  Good thing we have lots of other trees around.

It's insanity.  So why, you ask, would I put this psychotropic in my body? 
1. affecting mental activity, behavior, or perception, as a mood-altering drug.

So I can breathe.  Not so I can breathe better, or so I can run, or so I can be strong, or so I can breathe like a normal person.

But so that I can breathe and not DIE or end up in the hospital.  Isn't that fun?

I try to keep what I can from my family (Doug and Jacob mostly).  I mean, I know Doug understands because we've been down this road before.  And it IS a temporary increase and then taper.  But holy crap.  I had forgotten the madness of such a tiny pill.  Here I am at 11:38 PM NEEDING to get something out of my system before I go to bed so I don't lay there and bawl.

Crazy bad drug.  But without it...I'd be a goner.  And so we carry on in crazy-town.  Alllll aboard!

No comments: