Wednesday, October 12, 2011

TOO Much Going On

It's not that there's too much physically going on in my life...I'm busy, but I'm feeling okay (other than the sinus infection and bronchitis) MG-wise.  I have a treatment Friday, and then again on Monday.  Then the goal is to get the port placed before Thanksgiving, and have my next treatments after Thanksgiving WITH the port.  One can hope.

But I mean emotionally right now....Other than my dad being diagnosed with cancer, even though it's Stage I thank the LORD!  There are 2 others VERY dear to me that are at this very moment waiting for test results that could change their lives.  And mine.  It's so hard to wait, and yet there's no other way.  So I wait.  And wait. And pray.  And pray some more.  Not ready to reveal who these folks are because 1. I don't have their permission, haven't asked, and 2. there may be nothing to share, but I do ask for your prayers. God knows who they are and what they need.

And may I be so bold as to ask for continued prayers for me...Emotional stress is harder on my MG than physical stress is.  I can sit and make jewelry for hours and be fine....but the moment one of my loved ones gets bad news or is hurt or "messed with" in any way, the emotions go up, the tension goes up, and the MG goes DOWN.

I am so thankful that I am a woman of faith.  I do not know how I would get through this without knowing that God is in control, and that everything will work out for good for those who love Him and keep his commandments.

ANYWAY.  Just have a lot going on in every area of my life, and it's a bit stressful.  Jacob is learning a lot but has a lot of difficult questions because he is so smart!

The other day he asked me if I was going to have any more kids.  That is like salt in an open wound.  He doesn't know that, of course....But trying to explain that Mommy wants more but Daddy doesn't without making Daddy sound like a bad guy to a 5 year old is tough.  He doesn't understand all the nuances that go along with that decision making process.

And then this morning he asked why Jesus had to die.  Good grief.  I'm just pooped.  I'm probably go lay down in a bit.  I need to rest!!


Joanna said...

Wowzers. I know how bad that is beating you up woman. To tell you not to stress is rather pointless. Keep reminding yourself that no matter what the results are - you CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens you. One step at a time, one day at a time.

How's your toe?

Patty Ann said...

Oh yes, you are in my prayers. I will also add prayers for your family members. I would just tell Jacob, that all things come in God's time and that time is not yet. You don't know if or when it will be that time, but it is out of your hands. I think that is a good enough explanation for a 5 year old for now. Later, when he asks more questions, than you can decide how much or if any that you want to reveal. Remember that the decision to have children is always between a husband, a wife, and God. Sometimes our kids just get a little impatient with that!

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

Wow! And I thought Matthew's questions were bad. I really like Patty Ann's response though. I think I am going to have to borrow that the next time Matthew starts with his impossible questions. (Thanks Patty Ann!)

As always you and yours are in my prayers!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Rachel said...

My heart aches for you, there is SO much going on...I wish I could just hop on a plane and be there with you..Love Ya!