Wow. What a busy couple of weeks! Add to that dealing with pneumonia for crying out loud. I did a LITTLE better at restraining myself this year and saying "no" when I knew I had already done too much...but that's something I still need to get MUCH better at.
It's very difficult being a Type A personality with a disease that allows you to be anything BUT Type A. Sometimes even a Type B is a stretch.
I am not laid back.
I am not mellow.
I am not calm.
I am not a "go-with-the-flow" kind of girl.
I am a thinker, a planner, a scheduler, and I HATE change. I am high maintenance!! Yeah, I know, I'm laughing too!
If there's one thing I know in my life, it's that every day will bring something different. I can do all the planning in the world, but that doesn't mean any of it's going to happen. And it drives. me. crazy.
But ya know what? NONE of us is promised tomorrow. The healthiest among us could be hit by a crosstown bus tomorrow. (yes, I'm being a bit tongue-in-cheek, because I'm trying not to be morbid).
But seriously. Just in the last 2 weeks, I personally know of 4 young, healthy people who have died suddenly. Two were a brother and sister, 17 and 13. All four had their whole lives ahead of them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all need to live in the moment.
I'm not saying don't be responsible or make long-range goals or plans, but I AM saying don't COUNT on them to fulfill you or make you happy. You have to be okay with who you are today, because today may be all you have.
I don't know that I'm completely "okay" with me yet, today, in this moment. But I'm learning. Slowly, but I'm learning. Cherish everyone in your life. Don't wait to tell them you love them. If you want something, go for it. Don't put it off until tomorrow. Carpe diem!! Seize the day!