My precious, precious Jacob,
It was exactly four years ago today that the culminating miracle in a series of miracles came to pass. YOU were brought into this world, into this life, into my heart.
I will never forget the first moment I saw you, you had so much hair! And it was so curly! They held you up, I saw your face, and I knew I was in love. I cherish the feeling that memory brings to me.
Jacob, you are more than any Mommy could ask for in a child. You are brillliant. You are creative and wild, you are beautiful. You love Jesus. You are so brave.
Mommy can hardly believe I've already been blessed with 4 years with you in this life. Sometimes I look at you and think, "What on earth did I do that was so amazing that God gave me YOU as my child?" I am so thankful for you.
When you were a baby I always made sure you had 100 kisses a day. I wish I could still do that, but usually I get, "Mom! Stop! That's enough!" Part of my heart laughs, while the other part aches. You're not a baby anymore, that is certain. You are growing into such a wonderful little boy.
I have tried to cherish every second we have together, because it really does fly by. Just yesterday you were pulling yourself up to stand, saying "mama" (first word, thank you very much), and jumping like crazy when Daddy held you with your feet to the ground.
Now you go out and play, and hit a baseball, or want to play bad guys and tear around the yard. I love watching your independence grow. I love watching how you solve problems, just like your Daddy. I love just watching you.
As you continue to grow I have so many prayers and hopes for you. First of all, I pray that more than anything else, you love God, and follow His plan for your life. Nothing could make Mommy happier than that.
I hope you never have to hurt physically like you did when you were in the NICU when you were born. I want to protect you so you never ever hurt again, but I know that sometimes you have to hurt to learn.
I hope that I teach you well intellectually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Being your Mommy can be a tough job, but it's the best job I've ever had.
I pray that you will grow up strong and healthy, creative and compassionate. I hope you love to help others as much as you do now.
There is so much more I could say to you my precious boy. My life changed the moment I saw you. My heart aches at the thought of you getting bigger, yet it leaps for joy as it watches you grow. I know as a parent my job is to raise you to go into the world and be successful. But the thought of you going anywhere is too much for me to handle right now.
You give Mommy so much joy. You light up my life. You have expanded my heart. If it gets any bigger it just might burst.
So happy birthday to the best little boy in the world. I love you more than you could ever understand.