Yes, that is the most bizarre title of all time. I really just want you to all walk around with the "Off to Work I Go" song stuck in your head! (You're welcome!)
Doug dug (ar, ar....my name is a verb too!) my ancient Bi-PAP machine out of the attic yesterday afternoon and "McGuyver-ized" it. I use the nose mask over my trach and kind of smoosh it together, and Doug got all the other hoses and pieces parts together and tweaked the inspiratory and expiratory pressures til it felt comfortable.
In case you are wondering, a Bi-PAP is like a ventilator. When you breathe in, it gives you a push of air in. When you breathe out, it kind of relaxes and the air comes out. It's kind of weird. But it is a workout! All I can think while all this air is rushing in is, "O my GOSH I can't believe "normal" people get this much air with every breath!" Yes, peanut gallery, I know "normal" has NEVER been in my vocabulary, but you get the drift. But seriously....if I could breathe like that every day, every breath! I could run a marathon!
Which also makes me realize just how weak I am...and how much I was pushing myself, and how blessed I am that nothing worse happened. I mean, where I am is bad enough...but it could have been worse. I guess God still has some work for me to do!
Anyway. I still have zero stamina. But then again, my O2 was 63%, so I suppose. Oh to rewind 20 years and gulp huge breaths of air....as much as I wanted. I know it wouldn't make a difference now, but it's amazing what you THINK you want when you're younger.
And isn't it ironic that we won't listen to others? There are SO MANY wise people out there who have much to impart...I wish I had listened when I was younger. Again, it wouldn't effect my health the way it is now or anything, I just know I missed out on some blessings and probably got a bunch of hurts I could have avoided.
I guess that's why part of me wants to document my journey. If indeed ONE person has a better life, avoids a huge mistake, gets benefited in some way, grows closer to the Lord....then it's all worth it. If more than one...what a blessing!
I have a physical therapist coming to reopen my case this morning, and a friend coming over to help with Jacob (and me!) as well. Then the O.T. comes at 4:30 (after my nap!)...full day for a sickie! OH, and my new 10 minute breathing workouts. Whew!