Yes, I am excited. Yes, I use exclamation marks way too much. Deal with it.
Exactly one month ago today, I went to the E.R. and was admitted to Bronson Hospital overnight. I couldn't catch my breath, and it scared me. For the first time I truly realized how hard I had been pushing myself to do all and be all. Well, I wasn't, and I'm not. I never will be.
But I am okay with that now. I think that's been over half the battle. I've had my antidepressants changed, too, which is helping dramatically. Do I still get angry? Of course. Sad? Yup. Frustrated? Most definitely.
I'm almost afraid to hope, if I can be perfectly frank. But glory to God, He made me hopelessly optimstic, and didn't give me a "give-up" gene. He is the Reason I am who and where I am today.
Anyway. Doug has been amazing. The last 2 days we have steadily been working in my office. I've been doing a lot of sitting, going through files, etc., and Doug's done all the hard stuff. We changed out all of the picture frames so they (mostly) match, and everything is off the floor, my deskops are clean....
Now some of you are thinking, "And....???" Well, you didn't see it before. This room was a catch-all. It caught ALL the crap that no one wanted anywhere else in the house. Now it's neat, organized, and labeled! Oh, JOY!!! My OCD brain is SOOOO happy. I am so motivated to do school with Jacob now! I'm sure part of it has to do with feeling better, but before I would walk in this room and just be so overwhelmed....now I LOVE it!
So anywho....now the biggest prayer requests are that I get some help around the house (home health aide) on a regular basis, so that I can use my energy for my family. Secondly, that God would protect my kidneys....between being diabetic and now the cyclosporine (which proceses in the kidneys), I have to have blood work done, starting in 5 days, every two weeks to check my kidney function. It just HAS to stay good.
Thanks to all of you who hang in there with me on this journey. I love you and couldn't do it without you.