Turkey Dinner Anyone?

OH. MY. WORD.

If you have never heard a turkey you do not know what you are thankfully missing.  Never in my life have I heard such a racket.

At about 7:45 this morning, I hear a honk in the driveway.  I'm thinking, are you KIDDING me?  I was still upstairs, just waking up, Jacob hogging the bed cuddling by me sound asleep.  Then lots and lots of noise.  LOTS.  You can hear all this because the windows are open because we're having summer in October this year.

So I go downstairs thinking if someone is seriously at my house at 7:45, I am getting my gun.  Consequences be hanged.

So I search, and no one is in sight.  The dogs are going INSANE, so I let them out.  It is then that I realize the cacaphony is all coming from the turkeys!  OH MY GOSH.  My kingdom for a recorder at that moment.  I could have yelled at the top of my voice and not have been heard.  And there were only like 11 of them!  Three of them are toms, and they were all puffed up and their heads were turning blue.  Typical males.

I called Doug to find out if he was the one who honked (yes) and asked when I could murder the turkeys expect the turkeys to be gone. He said end of the month.  SOMEONE isn't gonna live that long....we'll just have to figure out who.

THEN, our meat chickens start CROWING.  Obviously there are several roosters in there.  They are so fat they can hardly walk.  THEN the neighbor's dogs start howling and barking. I'm like, whoever said the "country" was quiet, calm or peaceful has NOT been to MY house!

Of course after the turkeys finally shut up (throwing walnuts, pears, nothing riled them), they wander through the cow pasture and on down the road stopping traffic.  Shoot me now.

Then there is the fruit fly infestation.  Oh my GOSH they are so disgusting.  Where do they all come from????  Well, last night, Doug took the cover off the wonderful, delicious homemade apple pie that he had made the other day, and it was FULL of fruit flies.  I about hurled right then and there.  Did he throw it out?  Nope.

Don't worry, I didn't let him eat it either....

So during WWIII going on outside I'm trying to dump this pie without releasing 17,000 fruit flies.  So I took the whole dang thing outside and dumped it.  Saved the pan.

BUT:  I learned how to kill the little buggers.  Cider vinegar in a bowl with a drop of liquid dish soap.  The dish soap breaks the surface tension of the vinegar, so they drown.  {insert evil laugh}  I've already got a couple in there, the rest are hanging out by the edge of the pool...but they'll take a dunk never you mind.

I have a ridiculous headache, I'm surrounded by fowl, fruit flies, and farting dogs.  But that's a topic for another day.