Grieving

MG sucks. I mean, that's the plain and simple truth.  It sucks the life out of your physical body.  It sucks your energy.  It drains your stamina and health, and ability to do things you used to be able to do without thinking.  Like breathing. Or sleeping on your stomach and drooling all over the pillows.  Or sleeping on your back and having crazy dreams. 

Or multi-tasking.  That is so frustrating.  Before MG, especially when I was working, I could be on the phone with a driver, answer a different driver on the radio, be typing in a pick-up, and listen to the conversation at the window and be able to answer the question before it was asked of me.  Now the only multi-tasking I can do is sneeze, burp, fart and pee all at the same time.

And I have this killer cold.  And it literally could be a killer if I'm not careful.  Doug is coming home early today to take care of me thank God, because there is NO WAY I can take care of myself let alone me and Jacob!

I have to walk around clutching my cell phone in case I fall, and then pray it doesn't go flying across the room if I do.  Every time I go up and down the stairs it's an exercise of faith, for sure.

There's just so much that is different.

But my faith is different too.  And my attitude (most of the time...)  I do not sweat the small stuff, to be sure.  I used to be so impatient and worry about everything.  Worry takes on a whole new meaning when you go from "how does my hair look" to "am I going to live to see my son graduate?"

So a friend challenged me through her blog (Pitterle Postings...go check it out) to write 5 things I'm thankful for every day. So:

1. I am thankful that I can hear.
2. I am thankful I have an adorable, loving, giving, thoughtful, precious, crazy smart child.
3. I am thankful that when I die I know I will go to heaven and never feel pain or be sick or cry again.
4. I am thankful that my husband loves me and is faithful to me and takes care of me.
5. I am thankful for the internet and all of the amazing, truly genuine friends I have made on it.

Your turn.  What are you thankful for??