Fighting this disease called Myasthenia Gravis (MG) with a little humor, some good friends, and a lot of help from Above.
Friday, March 2, 2012
"Who knows the beginning of the things which we CAN know? Theory! Theory! We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise." -Walter Wangerin
This was posted on a friend's facebook status today, and it really caught my attention. I am a person who used to HAVE to be surrounded by noise. I still am at night, much to the dismay of my husband, who loves perfect silence at night.
I grew up sleeping with a fan most of the time because we didn't have air conditioning, and just got used to it to the point of needing the noise. Now I have an oxygen concentrator and a vent, so I still have noise. Can't sleep without it.
Now, however, during the daytime, I am learning to appreciate the quiet. Part of it is having a 5 1/2 year old boy who actually talks more than I do. The only thing moving faster than his feet is his mouth.
But I think part of appreciating the silence is not being afraid of it. Before I got sick, I had to fill every atom of space around me with something...noise, music, work, play, fun, people, and so on. It was through the noise that I lost hearing that still, small voice. I was so afraid of the silence and what it might bring....that I would have to own up to some inappropriate behavior.... That I would have to admit that I didn't know it all or have it all, that I couldn't DO it all.
"We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise." If we're talking and moving and doing and acting, we can't just "be." If we're trying to figure everything out we don't have to live with the unknown, because the unknown is terrifying.
That's why people stay in situations that are HORRIBLE. Because the familiar, whether good or damaging, is better than the unknown. Well, today I challenge you to just BE. To embrace the silence. To put aside the theories. To stop trying to solve the world's problems... or even your own.
Just BE. Listen. Absorb. Put down the remote, turn off the computer, take a deep breath, and just be.