Thursday, August 23, 2012

Random Letters Volume 459

Okay, so who knows what volume it is, what difference does it make?  Sounds better than just "More Random Letters." 

Dear Krazy Glue,

You show a dude hanging from an I beam by his hard hat, yet your product won't adhere the top of a puzzle piece to the rest of the puzzle piece (you know, the picture part starts peeling up from the cardboard part?).  I am highly confused, and more than a little irritated.  IF, in fact, your product can hold a man up, of average weight, maybe 150 pounds, please explain to me why it cannot hold paper together.

Krazyily Konfused

P.S.  You really should review your spelling

Dear United Airlines,

My elderly parents (sorry, mom and dad, you ARE 73) flew out to California on your airline.  They got to the airport an extra hour early because they didn't have their seat assignments yet.  My parents are zealous when it comes to airport protocol, so they got there prior to "on time."

Their flight was originally supposed to leave at 7:50 AM EST.  It was delayed due to a mechanical failure...always a wonderful concept; getting on a plane that was JUST fixed.

It was delayed again.  And again.  Eventually, your airline told my elderly parents that they would be BUSSED to Chicago's O'Hare Airport.  Not flown, bussed.  As in, not a 45 minute trip, but a 3+ hour trip.  The bus left Grand Rapids and got to Chicago at 4:00PM CST.  At this time, my parents had been up for over 12 hours, and should have already been at their destination in California. 

However, their NEW flight out of O'Hare didn't leave until 8:40 PM CST, which put them at their destination at 2:00 AM PST.  So for those of you who do math as well as you treat your passengers, my 73 year old parents were up for over 24 hours, traveling.  My father is not in terrific health, and it took him days to recover.

Your advertising slogans are: 

                              It's time to fly.  Um, not according to this performance.

                              Life is a journey, travel it well.  I'm not sure they traveled it well, but you sent my parents on a journey alright.  A journey from hell!

                              Fly the friendly skies of United.  I'm sure they would have preferred this to driving the pothole-filled, construction-laden, traffic-jam-ridden highway on a BUS.

Shame on you, United Airlines.  This debacle will go further than just this blog, I guarantee you that.  Your treatment of passengers is disgraceful, and your airplanes are obviously not up to par.  I hope and pray that no one else I love chooses your airline. 

And ya might want to reconsider those slogans.  May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Most Abhorrently Yours,
Daughter of Two Sweet, Wonderful, TIRED, Elderly Parents

Dear MG,

I hate you.  I loathe you.  You bring seething rage to every cell in my body.  You are like the devil: you kill, steal and destroy. 

You have killed my dreams.

You have stolen my freedom.

You have destroyed my independence.

You have taken, and taken, and taken some more. 

There is not much more I have to give.

So go back to hell where you belong and LEAVE.  ME.  ALONE!!!

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