Monday, April 20, 2009

Roller Coaster??

Okay, so I think everyone has heard and probably even used the old cliche "life is like a roller coaster...up and down."

Well, I'm going to expand on that a bit...My life feels more like the Corkscrew. You know, the one that not only goes up and down, but upside down? Actually that was my favorite the last time I was at Cedar Point, which was oh, let's just say a looong time ago. The biggest Coaster then was the Gemini. No kidding.

Anyway, I digress...

Add chronic illlness and a 2 1/2 year old and you've got a no holds barred, up and down and upside down, stomach churning, mild blowing, thrilling, terrifying ride. One minute, you're just having a blast...the beast called MG has been satisfied momentarily, Jacob is healthy and wonderful and perfect...and then...BAM! Upside down...but this time the straps holding you in snap, and you're hanging on for your life. You're literally white-knuckling it for your very life.

This is my life.

Some days I am the happiest, most contented, thrilled-with-my-life, on-the-right-track-with-God, getting-along-perfectly-with-my-husband, feeling-strong, super-mom, confident woman. Then there are the other 360 days of the year! : ) But seriously...lately, WOW...what a battle. If I did not have God in my life, and friends who know Him, I would be in the loony bin. (I've also recently connected with an old friend on facebook who is the BOSS at the loony bin, who holds the keys to the padded cells, so...I'm just sayin').

One dear friend has been calling me DAILY to pray over me. Every day. Do you have any idea how precious that woman is to me? Another friend who I know lifts me up in prayer daily also listen to me rant and rave and emotionally vomit, and she take it with the greatest of ease...but she's not afraid to ask the tough questions either. God Bless you both....I couldn't get along without you.

Sometimes I almost feel schizophrenic...but I have good company. David, the Psalmist, was one emotional guy! He makes me feel better about all of my outbursts, good AND bad. Psalm 42:9-11 "I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

It's like he not only goes back and forth but he also talks to himself, and then answers! I LOVE this guy! I'm not sure what the whole point of this post is...just that life is crazy, I guess, and I'm really glad I have godly friends who help me stay on track, spiritually, emotionally...(I don't think mentally, but that's a whooooole other subject!)


Leigh@intentslife said...

Ooh, I love that passage you quoted and I love how David pulled himself up out of despair by reminding himself to put his hope in God. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a good talking to and what better thing to confess aloud than Scripture?

Also, read 2 Tim. 7: God's get your mind covered too - praise His holy Name!

Love you - keep hanging in there with God. :)

Crista said...

Kerri, I'd really like to read Charles Stanley's book someday soon. Thanks for sharing...
Thanks for your honesty....
Sweetie...He promises us the treasures of darkness...Is. 45:3...and the Treasure is Him! Is there any greater Treasure!?! Kerri, you are NOT in there alone.
He's in there WITH you...and Kerri, He knows what it's like inside the tomb...Jesus understands your turmoil and your roller coaster...and no matter what! - He's there with you!
Lord, on Kerri's behalf, I speak to the storm in Jesus' Name...Peace, be still! I lift up Jesus, Our Shield of Faith, over you and I speak the mind of Christ into every cell of your brain. I speak life in the Name of Jesus Christ into your spinal cord, nerves and muscles. I speak healing in the Name of Jesus into every synapse...every corpuscle...every atom of your body. Thank-You and Praise You Jesus for revealing Yourself in greater depth to our Sister, Kerri.
May Your Glory Lord and Your angels surround Your Daughter...Lord, we come to You for the physical, emotional and spriirest which only You can give.
Thank-You, Jesus.

Joanna said...

So how long did you have to hide in the bathroom to read it all? :D

Holy smokes I thought that guy was joking about the padded cell. Ask if it comes with room service and if we could room together. *hee hee*

Kerri said...

Whoo-Hooo things are movin' now, ladies!

Joanna, you CRACK me up. Thank you LORD for humor!

I love you girls more than words can say!

Crista, you will LOVE that book. LOVE IT.