If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time you know that I am a "Hope Junkie". I cannot, no, WILL not live without hope. I am an eternal optimist. I was in a negative rut for a while, and it was SO not me. But when people started really stepping up to the plate to help me, my faith in humanity had been renewed, and I've been getting stronger ever since.
When I ended up in the hospital in myasthenic crisis on December 17, I knew I had some reckoning to do. I had to slow down. I had to deal with reality. I had to understand that the disease had me, I didn't have it. And that needed to change. Quickly.
So thanks be to the Lord, Who moved hearts, who then acted on that provocation, which in turn instilled back in me my Hope. And there's no stoppin' me now.
I read a blog once that absolutely broke my heart. A young woman was explaining her belief system, in which she felt that as long as you had a belief in some greater power, that was what was important, not WHAT or WHOM that greater power was. And many agreed with her. So many think that Christians are narrow-minded, self-righteous halfwits who believe in some great magician in the sky. And that "hurts my heart" as Jacob would say.
How do people who don't believe in God live through life's challenges? How do they make it through death or disease? Heartbreak? Loss? I can't imagine going through life thinking this is all there is.
I know that there is One Way. And I know this because the God of the Universe said so. And that, for me, is enough. I don't need scientific proof that I didn't emanate from some ooze, or that this magnificent, beautiful planet began by what amounts to spontaneous combustion (although there is plenty of scientific and historical proof to support the Bible). II Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness."
So there you have it. My personal belief. If it's offensive, then it is the Word of God that offends, not me. I don't judge others for what they believe because it is their choice. God gave us all free will, and He's not going to shove Himself down anyone's throat.
But you know what I was thinking yesterday? How sad I would be if Jacob went through every day with me right here by his side, and never talked to me or acknowledged me. It would break my heart. And then I thought, here I am, with God right beside me, going through every moment with me, and He feels the same way I would! Even more so because His love is so much greater than my own.
Deep thoughts today, I suppose. But that blog post just struck a chord in me and really made me thankful that I believe. That I know the Truth. And that He knows me.
Fighting this disease called Myasthenia Gravis (MG) with a little humor, some good friends, and a lot of help from Above.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
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6 comments:
Kerri, I LOVE this post today. It nearly made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing journey with the rest of us. It does matter than you have faith and hope and that you have trust in Him. You are inspiring!
Your post today reminds me of an email that keeps going around. Part of it says, "I'd rather live my life believing there is a God and die to find out there isn't than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is." Great post as usual!
Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns
We are alike! I am always hoping also. I agree with The One God
kim
Amen Kerri!
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10
That's what I remind myself when I meet someone who doesn't approve of my faith & then I try to say a prayer for them & for me. To remind myself that I am human therefore a sinner & Jesus loves me regardless & that other person too...it's hard sometimes!
Good post Kerri!
I can't imagine a life without HOPE & FAITH!
Amen, Sister! There's one way and one Mediator . . . if only folks would trust His heart instead of trying to figure the world out . . .
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