Saturday, March 19, 2011

Roller Coaster

Why can't I just get my emotions and heart and all that crap lined up with my mind? My brain tells me everything is going to be okay, and then my emotions crop up. So I tell them where to go. They don't listen.

I have been just fine regarding my upcoming treatment. I even talked to an MG friend who has had it, and I felt even better about it. I was feeling strong health-wise, but my sister has been in agony with gallstones and an ulcer. (Not because of me...that's a whole separate issue). Now I'm getting pooped again (but I had like 4 or 5 REALLY good days, so I'm not just reinforces my thoughts on the Rituxan).

Then today I get on facebook and see that my sister is in Emergency again (she was there last Sunday) and is probably getting her gallbladder out. Her daughter, my niece, was going to come here Tuesday to stay overnight, but I want her to stay with my sister now...even if she doesn't have her gallbladder out....she'll need help.

I just have to calm down. God will work it out. As I so eloquently said to a friend (speaking to her, but this time to myself): "God didn't bring me this far to drop me on my butt!"
I just really need your prayers.


Pam said...

Honey, I am so sorry that you are so frustrated...and here I dumped on you yesterday...well you asked!
I am sorry I sounded so petty, but I was and am in the middle of so many sucks sometimes...but like you I really apreciate the day or days in a row that I truly feel good.
Kerri I am praying for you to feel good, and that you remember that God will supply for your every need, not maybe in the way you would like or even think but He will supply exactly what you need. Please take a deep breath and breathe...and wrap your arms around you and feel hugged by me...I love you Kerri...God loves you Kerri....

Stuff could always be worse said...

Oh I understand these feelings, but yes God will bring you through this! It gets frightening sometimes

Patty Ann said...

Kerri, I know that somehow things will work out. I will keep you in my heart and prayers this week too. Is there anyone else that could come over and help you? Remember that He loves you always. You are not alone. Sometimes, we have to have faith to take us through the fear before we find the blessing.

Renee Ann said...

When things like this happen, I do tend to panic. Then I have to remind myself that God is not surprised. He has a plan and perfect timing. But it's still hard to He lets you in on it :) Blessings, Kerri!

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister! I hope everything turns out well for her.

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Anonymous said...

You can do it! :) I know it!