So we check in at 0'dark thirty and get to a room. They try Cytotek one
last time, as I have dilated to one. At noon, they started pitocin,
because there was no further reaction from the Cytotek. They started at
a fairly low dose, and increased it by 4 units every hour. I think I
was up to 32, which is quite high if I remember correctly. I was having
contractions, but nothing to write home about. No further dilation, no
At 6 PM they stopped the pit so I could eat
supper. Then at 10PM, they started it up again. If you've never had a
baby, imagine trying to sleep with a baby heartbeat monitor wrapped
around your belly, plus another wrap to measure any contractions, and
being on pitocin (a medicine to stimulate labor) all. night.long.
Needless to say, I did not sleep. No sleep + MG = nothing good.
August 15 arrives. They check me again in the morning. Nada. They
crank up the pit again. At about 10:30 they manage to break my water,
even though I was still only dilated to one. Now THAT is a bizarre
I continued to have contractions, and about 1:00-1:30 I
got my epidural. We were a bit concerned about having an epi, but the
docs recommended it as the safest way for me, because if I had to deal
with the pain on top of the stress, the MG would flare like crazy and I
wouldn't have a prayer of delivering without a C-section. It was a little scary,
because at first I couldn't move my legs at all...but Doug helped me
find a better position and I was okay.
Obviously I'm tired.
Borderline exhaustion. My spirits are still pretty good, but I'm fading
FAST. At about 2:30, Dr. Lavery came in and checked again. No
progress. So I said what are we looking at? He basically said if I
started dilating right then, it would probably be 4-6 hours til I was at
10, then a minimum of 3 hours pushing. I looked at my husband, looked
at the doc, and said, "I'm done. C-section please." By this time, I
was not strong enough to talk. I had to write everything, or whisper.
anesthesiologist was AMAZING. I was so scared about not being able to
breathe, especially with the epidural, in the operating room...and to be
awake for it all! So he said he would give me something to knock me
out for like 10 seconds, take out the trach, put the ET tube in, get me
on the vent, and wake me back up. I was like, okay. This was the worst
case scenario that my neurologist had mentioned: delivering by
C-section on a vent. I remember when he told me that I was like, nah,
that couldn't be me!. Um, right.
However, the anesth. said, "Okay
kiddo, your oxygen numbers are great. I'm going to lean you back just a
little bit." So he did, and I was okay. After a few minutes, he put
me back a little further. And waited....let my body acclimate to that
position. He told me my oxygen numbers were still good. I was
terrified, but many people were praying for me, and I
KNOW God sent this doc to me. He was so awesome...I was at peace the
moment I saw him. I immediately trusted him...and I don't trust
doctors. I make them earn it, believe me.
So here we are going
back bit by bit, and while it was a bit more difficult to breathe, I was
doing it, and soon enough I was lying flat enough to have the
C-section, NO VENT. This was truly a miracle, folks. Honest to God
miracle. There was no natural way I should have been able to breathe
lying flat on my back. No way. Except God's way.
I was so
excited that I could be awake, and even talk, (well, whisper) during the
delivery. Had I been on the vent, talking would have been impossible.
was by my side (And he looked awfully cute in those doctor scrubs!)
There were LOTS of people in there....my doctor, several nurses,
helpers, more helpers, the docs from the NICU for Jacob, and The Giant.
The Giant was this huge
man standing to my right. He was the Pusher. Dr. Lavery made the
incision, and the Pusher started up by my breastbone, and started a
downward pushing movement to get Jacob out. He was about 6'7", maybe
280. One of the man's hands were larger than my entire head. And he
had both of them on my pregnant belly, pushing downward, squishing Jacob
out. The entire gurney was moving. The man was HUGE. It didn't hurt
at all, it was just this intense pressure. Crazy.
I will NEVER
in.my.life. forget the moment they showed Jacob to me. (After they got
him to let go of Dr. Lavery's finger with his mouth! He was biting the
poor man!!) They lifted up this child. This amazing, wrinkly, pasty,
beautiful, perfect, black-curly-haired, chubby cheeked angel and showed
me my baby. Oh, that moment. Still brings tears to my eyes. I never
EVER dreamed this was even possible, and here we were. I wanted that
moment to freeze.
Unfortunately it didn't. Jacob was crying,
which was a good sign, and his Apgars were okay, but not great. They
whisked him off to the NICU, which I was prepared for, but it still
stunk. I made Doug go with the baby while they stitched (rather
stapled) me up and brought me to recovery. I was shaking so hard! I
remember them telling me it was normal...but it was not fun!
ended up being in recovery until midnight, because my heartbeat was too
fast and they couldn't get it to slow down. I was severly dehydrated,
and I drank a LOT...which helped the heartbeat go down, and I could
finally go to my room. We had collected Jacob's cord blood at the time
of birth to be cryogenically stored, so the box was on the counter
waiting for the courier to pick it up. At the time, there were over 40
diseases that cord blood could cure for the person it came from. I'm
sure there are even more today.
On the way to my room, they
pushed me in my bed through the NICU so I could see my boy... I had only
seen him the one peek in the operating room. I put my hand in the
incubator (which he was WAY too big for!) and he grabbed my hand. Not
tightly, but he kinda grabbed it. He had oxygen on, and a feeding tube
in, because he couldn't suck. This was part of neonatal MG. He had it.
I knew it right then. They weren't willing to come to that conclusion
immediately, but in my heart I knew.
I slept fitfully that
night, my arms crying out for the child I had just brought into this
world. That, and the nurses coming in to push on my tummy to get my
uterus to shrink back. Not so fun. It honestly didn't hurt as bad as I
was expecting it to...but maybe I was just preoccupied.
day, as soon as I was able, I went to the NICU so I could hold my baby
for the first time. I could.not.believe. it. This tiny miracle was
MINE. I got to KEEP him! He was perfect. Big chubby cheeks...thick,
black curly hair....perfect.
The next few days would tell the story....little did I know that I would be in for the most difficult journey of.my.life.