Thursday, October 1, 2009

My Dear Linda

Tomorrow I am going to Ann Arbor, so I probably won't post. However, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to acknowledge that tomorrow will be one year ago that my best friend on this earth went to be with Jesus.

You can read about Linda's battle here. Linda and I had been best friends for over 12 years. We met at work (Towne Air Freight) and became fast friends. Linda was the best friend you could ever ask for. She was loyal to a fault. She was generous and kind, a wonderful listener...the kind of friend you knew you could call in the middle of the night and she wouldn't be upset. I remember doing just that when my boyfriend at the time was in a semi crash. I called her at 3 AM just to ask her to pray, and she told me to call her back as soon as I knew something.

The best part of our friendship was when we worked late second shifts at TAF. It was SO much work, but it was a blast. We always had fun. We also live in the same apartment complex, and pretty much had dinner together every night after we were both on days. We were inseparable.

I had a sister, Michelle, who was killed in a car accident when I was 16. She was 18. She and Linda were 4 months' difference in age. I told Linda she was the sister I had lost. Certainly not a replacement, but an addition that God so blessed me with. We were so close.

And now it has been a year since I have seen her or talked to her. I saw her the day before she died. I knew it wouldn't be long. She wasn't Linda anymore. I held her hand, and I just couldn't help it, I put my head down and sobbed. The grief of seeing someone you love so much suffering...it was almost more than I could bear.

I think of her every day. I still think, "Oh, I need to call Linda! She won't believe this..." But it has been 365 days since I have been able to tell her anything. I can't watch Rachael Ray on TV anymore, because Linda got me hooked, and ever time I see her I just get sad. EVERY DAY I think, "Oh, Linda would LOVE this! Linda has GOT to see this! I can't wait to tell Linda about..." And then I'm jerked back to reality and remember that she is not here. And my heart aches. When I just needed to talk to someone, I always went to Linda. With anything. With everything. Now when I just need to talk, she is not there.

The only thing that keeps me being completely swallowed by grief is that I KNOW she is in the arms of our Savior. That she has no pain, no sorrow, no tears. She is healthy and whole and as angelic there as she was on earth. What a comfort to know that she knew God, that she loved Him, and knew that He loved her. There is Hope beyond the grave.

But to my dear Linda: you were my most precious friend. You were really more like a sister. I miss you more than words can express. My heart is still broken from not having you here. I miss sharing things with you...I am crushed that Jacob will not know his Auntie Linda until we are all reunited again in heaven. You were a light on this planet that not enough people got to see. You were the best friend a person could ever ask for...and more. You were joy and goodness. I love you, my dear friend, and I miss you so very much.

6 comments:

Joanna said...

Oh my word has it really been a year? Grief is such a weird thing.

The sun is shining today - could see her sending that to you in her gentle way.

Angelica Bays, TygrLilies.com said...

Oh, sweetness,I am so sorry for your loss. (((Cyberhug))) I still feel a pang when someone says a 'Dave-ism'. But then I remember, like you do, that I will see him again and on that side it will be like no time has passed at all.

Dios Bendiga,
Angelica

Jessica said...

Very sweet post! Bless your heart!

Young Wife said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. To lose a sister and then a friend as close as a sister...wow. You've been through so much.

Joy said...

I am so sorry for your losses. I wanted to say thank you for stopping by on my SITS day.

Becky said...

It really was no conincidence that you were the SITS entry before mine. First off Happy Saturday Sharefest! My dear husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in Oct. 2007 and lost his brave battle Nov 10 2008, just 13 short months after the diagnosis. I feel your pain. My seven children and I are now approaching the one year of his passing. It is tough, real tough, but you take it one day at a time. So corny but so true. Hold strong and keep that faith that someday again you and your buddy will be laughing it up again. Much love, Becky