Thursday, December 2, 2010


Seems to be the feeling of the day. Or week. Or month. Actually, lately, life!

Gosh. When did I become so incapable of managing life? Stress? Relationships? Everything around me seems to be going to he!! in a handbasket, and here I am, all unaware. I'm so tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm sick of being sick. I'm OVER being overwhelmed. (Like that? Me too....I'm proud of myself.)

This damn disease has already taken so much from me. I know there are reasons. I get that. But let me tell you, there are days when that just. doesn't. matter. I'm weak, I'm tired, and none of my responsibilities ever go away. I have zero energy today. I just don't care. It doesn't matter if I don't feel good. I still have a child to take care of, and things that need to get done. I can't just curl up in a ball and let the world go on its merry way. (Trust me, I've tried).

It's a good thing it's simply not in my chemistry to give up, because I would have by now, a thousand times over.


Patty Ann said...

How long has it been since you have done something nice just for yourself. It is nearly impossible for any of us to keep our energy levels up, when we neglect to do the things necessary to resupply them. Most of us feel the same way you do at this time of year and we DON'T have your disease to cope with. So, give yourself a break. I get that you have way too much to do, so give yourself permission to put a few things on the back burner and do something that will make you feel good! Can you get some help with some of those things? Can a friend do them for you? A church member? I don't want to overstep my bounds, I just think it might help you if you can get a few of the overwhelming things off your plate. Stress is not going to help you. It will only make it worse for you. So, what is the one thing that you enjoy that makes you relax?? Take a little bit of time to do it. Sometimes, even a few moments can make a difference for the rest of our day. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Toni said...

Oh Honey.
I feel you. I am you. I was there yesterday and I know exactly how you feel. The kids never go away, I can't just lay there and curl up and not take care of them. They ALWAYS need me. Best I can say is to hang in there and keep your faith. I felt like death yesterday, but today things seems brighter. Tomorrow, who knows? So I am taking today and loving it while I can. Your tomorrow is coming!

bluewhitelife said...

I'm just exhausted. But I only have the flu. Or a cold. It's terrible. However, I know you can make it through this cause you're awesome. Just sayin :)

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

Sending you tight, tight, hugs! Would you like me to bottle some of Matthew's energy and send it to you? That would help both of us out. A slightly calmer child for me and more energy for you. :-)

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Heather said...

I'm sorry that you are facing such a struggle today. I hope that you find a way to find joy in the simple things while coping with the ups and downs of chronic illness. May the Lord give you a sense of His peace and presence in the midst of this storm.

Karen Mortensen said...

Here is a hug for you.

Rachel said...

We all have days when we feel that way.
OK, now stop, take a deep breath and look around, what do you see?

I see a husband who love's you very much.

A beautiful son God has blessed you with.

Another day to spend with family and friends, and eyes to see all the beauty God has created for us to enjoy!

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

Praying for you!

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