PPPhhhhttttttt.

Don't even know what else to title this! What a day. I know I'm hard on myself, but it felt like EPIC failure. I'm so exhausted. Today was the first day alone with Jacob since my crisis. I don't know how to do nothing. But if I don't learn real quick, I'm gonna end up in the hospital again, and again, and again.

Then I deal with stuff like this:

I call my primary doc (PCP) to get the blood and sputum culture results from when I was in the hospital 10 days ago. (And after a complete round of the ONE antibiotic I know I can take, so really what's the point in even getting the results??) Anyway, it was like 10:00 this morning.

About 4:15, I decide I'm finally going to get in the shower. Phone rings before I get in. It's my PSP's nurse (She's great, actually.)
Nurse: So I've been going back and forth with Dr. _____ and he doesn't think he can treat you without seeing you, without knowing what's going on. He suggests calling the doctor who treated you.

Me: {wondering what showed up in the tests if he won't "treat" me} I have called Bronson 4 times and have spoken to twice that many people and they keep telling me to call my PCP.

Nurse: Oh, you don't have the results yet?
Me: Oh my GOSH. No.
Nurse: Ooooh.....okay, just a minute.

Comes back after a minute: So who ordered all these tests?
Me: I have no idea. They just did them at the hospital after they admitted me. They poked and prodded and tested all night long. I guess they didn't believe me when I told them it was a myasthenic respiratory crisis.

Nurse: Right. Um....Okay, let me talk to the doc and I'll get back with you today.
Me: Good. Thanks.

So I get in the shower, because it's already 4:30, and who REALLY calls right back?
This nurse.

Nurse: Okay, all the blood cultures show nothing, but the sputum culture shows some kind of staph and Dr. ________ wants to treat you with doxycycline.

Me: Staph? What the..... I've already been treated with a full course of antibiotics, and besides, I can't take doxycycline. So shouldn't the Cipro have taken care of this? It's not the "icky" staph, right? {I'm thinking last time I had staph pneumonia I almost died...if I have staph, shouldn't I feel worse than THIS?}

Nurse: Oh, no. No, not that kind. I'll talk to the doc about the antibiotics and call ya back.
Me: K.

I believe her this time, but I'm half done in the shower, so I have to finish up. Had plenty of time this time, then she called back and said, yup, the Cipro should've taken care of it and you should be good to go.

So after TEN days, I find out there WAS something but it SHOULD be gone now because whoever the heck I saw gave me antibiotics before seeing any test results.

I'm sorry, but what the hell???? I went to a "good" hospital. They are supposed to know things. Some things. I saw at least 2 different neurologists. Alllll the stress of waiting for results and calling every doctor on the planet 17 times. What a joke. And I wonder why I end up bawling at the end of the day.

I would ask Calgon to take me away but even if I did, I'd still be there.
Ya, I know.