And The Hits Keep Coming

So I'm at the doctor yesterday waiting for them to determine what kind of pain meds to give me while I'm waiting to get into the pain clinic (need referral, evaluation, blah blah blah...but it will be worth it because this place has gotten very high marks from a good friend with the same issues as me.  Well, the same physical issues...I don't think she's quite as CRAZY as I am....).

The phone rings, obviously I don't answer.  When the nurse leaves the room, I check my voicemail.  It's very broken up because I don't have a very good signal.  All I hear is "CT scan, 12:45 the same day you see Dr. Lovy."  And I'm like, WHAT????

I was supposed to have plasmapheresis on Wednesday (tomorrow) then see Dr. Lovy.  Well, I called his office, and they said I need to come in at 12:15 for a 12:45 CT scan of my lungs, because the radiologist saw a nodule of some type in the bottom of one of my lungs on the chest x-ray I had done Friday.  So I have to have a CT with contrast tomorrow, and then Dr. Lovy will tell me what's going on at my appointment.  This is the SAME sequence of events as what happened to my dad: he got pneumonia, had a follow up chest x-ray, they saw a spot, he had a CT scan, and ended up with cancer. 

The bleeding from the trach trauma had stopped for about a day or two, and now I am coughing up blood again like I did when I had pneumonia.  My chest doesn't hurt though...so I don't know. I'm just getting really tired of fighting this fight.  Really.  Really.  Tired.

Now I KNOW the likelihood of the same thing that happened to my dad happening to me is minute to say the least, but yeah, I'm a little freaked out.  Trying not to panic....but even though I THINK I'm not worried about it, I didn't fall asleep last night until 3AM.  I was tired....heck, I was exhausted....but I couldn't sleep.  Took another pain pill, and got about 5 hours.  Now I have to go to the dentist today to have a tooth drilled and rebuilt. Can't afford the crown part til next year.

The only thing that's helping me survive right this minute (other than the grace of God and the prayers of many, many friends) is that the pain pills the doc gave me yesterday are helping, so I'm not in ridiculous pain anymore.  {sigh}

Anyway.  I had appointments for Thursday and Friday this week too, but I cancelled them.  Too much.  I can't deal with it all right now.

So if you could keep me in your prayers, I would appreciate it.