To Whom It May Concern

Dear Verizon,

You mean to tell me when I have FOUR bars out here in the sticks, your remote computer isn’t responding? Well, FIX IT!

Sincerely,
Unsatisfied Customer
P.S. Ok, you fixed it. Thanks.

Dear Mr. President,

Obviously your stimulus package is NOT working. Wasn’t it supposed to like, fix roads and stuff? Have YOU traveled on the major interstates of this country in the last, say, month? MmmHmm. That’s what I thought. Stimulate THIS.

Sincerely,
A NON-Democrat, UN-supportive-of-the-whole-let’s-print-our-own-money-and-call-it-stimulus-thing American

Dear Mr. Sandman,

You keep missing my house. Mapquest has is wrong. Do I need to send you directions AGAIN? We could all use a little sleep, especially the toddler, cuz when HE sleeps, we’re all pretty much good. So could you please check your GPS and try again tonight??

Sincerely,
Sleepless in Michigan

Dear U.S. Post Office,

What part of “PLEASE DO NOT BEND” are you not comprehending? Oh, you had to cut back because of the economy and illiterate people are cheaper to hire because they can’t read their contracts either? And you’re run by whom again? Oh, yeah, the GOVERNMENT!

Sincerely,
Bent