Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The GOOD Things About Having MG

Yup, you read that right. The GOOD things. Because there are plenty. And instead of whining about my eyes being messed up or my trach hurting or any number of myasthenia related issues that have plagued me, I will tell you some wonderful things I never would have experienced without this illness.

I learned that my husband is a man of strong character. He is faithful, trustworthy, loyal, Godly, a wonderful protector and provider. Six weeks after we were married I was in the hospital on a ventilator. No one knew (except God of course) whether I would live or die. Even though he is a Christian man, he could have just said, "I didn't sign up for this!" But he took his marriage vows seriously, in sickness or in health. He stands by me to this day. I love you honey.

I have met some amazing people that I never would have known without this disease connecting us. Two young ladies in particular, that I have just recently met, that I have connected with...(Their blog links are on my sidebar)...These women are amazing. They are strong. They both work, have families, and still manage this wicked disease. One prays for me. One has the patience of Job and is helping me with computer stuff that I just don't know how to do, AND made my signature and button. I just met her! I love ya girls!!

I learned that I am a lot stronger than I think. I always knew I was STUBBORN (like in the hospital....just too stubborn to die! : ), but I never realized the strength that God had given me. And I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten MG. It takes a lot more to keep going than it does to give up. Can I get an Amen??? (Joanna get out your hanky, girl, and start wavin'!) : )

I have deepened a few friendships to the point of KNOWING I could call either of these women in the middle of the night, and they would do whatever it took to help me. I can trust them both implicity with my precious child, and that speaks volumes. Joanna, Shawn, thank you. I love you both so much, and you are amazing, godly examples of loving one another. I don't know what I'd do without you!

My relationship with God is on a whole different level than it would have been. He showed me what it means to depend on Him. He has blessed me with things I can't even describe. I was able to share my story with a man who was chronically ill, had given up on God, and just hated life. He wanted to die and was not saved, according to his wife. She and a friend from the church I was attending at the time prayed for him daily. The friend asked me to pray as well. I sent this man a card to let him know I was praying for him. I was later told that when he got my card (I enclosed a picture of my son so he could SEE that miracles happen) he cried. He couldn't believe someone who didn't even know him cared enough to do that. His health did improve for a while, but he ended up passing away. And when he did, he knew the Lord, and was in heaven, praising God. To know that I had ANY teeny part in that, because of what God had given me to deal with....WOW. Every minute of suffering was worth that.

I have learned to appreciate life. I don't get angry like I used to. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy! I'm not nearly as impatient as I was, and things just don't get under my skin. I am in awe of the beauty that surronds me...God's magnificent creation. I really SEE it now, instead of just speeding through life with my head down, nose to the grindstone.

My son takes my breath away. I know I would love my child no matter what...but going through what I had to go through to have him makes me look at him, and just thank God he is in my life. Sometimes I watch him and think, how did I ever live my life without this little boy? He makes my heart just feel like it could burst inside me. It's so full, it's like it just can't hold anymore.

So I'm here to tell you....you may be going through hell right now. You may be thinking, I just CAN'T do this one. more. day. Oh, friends. I have been there. I have shed the tears. I have shaken my fists at God and railed at the heavens. But then those very fists have turned into open palms of praise, thanking God for who He is, and what He has done for me.

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8 comments:

Punken said...

Awwe Thanks Kerri that was so sweet:) I also feel MG has made me a stronger person but I will save that for another day! Have a great day girl!

bluewhitelife said...

Kerri, I love this post! It's so great to sit back and say "ya know, my life is pretty awesome" even when not ALL of it is :)

GlowinGirl said...

Kerri, I love that you are finding the good in the path that God is leading you down. That is a beautiful witness to the world around you. May you continue to be blessed through MG.

Jenxr77 said...

AMEN Kerri! Beautifully written, we are human so some days we need to vent but it is oh so important to see the gems revealed through the battle. I am so happy to have met you too!
Jen

Margaret said...

That is a great way to look at it. I have started to see the same things with my disease. I wish more people could see what we do without getting sick!

Rachel said...

I love this. There certainly are blessings that come along with a chronic illness. In the midst of suffering, God gives us so much grace!

Young Wife said...

Beautiful post. Thanks for the encouragement.

Life Rehearsal said...

Hi, I don't even know how but I end up at your blog and I want to think that God's plans are so perfect that he send me. I'm a 21 years old female from Puerto Rico. I have had Myasthenias since... I don't now, maybe forever. It's been sooooo hard. I was bullied at school cause of my eyes,my childhood was so hard cause of my weak legs but I have seen the glory of God every step of the way. ow I'm in college and I've been through hard times when I couldn't even get out of my bed, but God send me an amazing man. The love of my life. We are not even married yet but he's there for me every time I need him. Myasthenia has been hard on me and I have always felt that I'm alone at this, that's why It's a blessing that I have found you.