Monday, May 3, 2010

We Interupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

AAAhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to go to the chiropractor AGAIN today. A different one, this time about 25 minutes away. They take clients on a walk in basis after you've been there once. They could get me in this afternoon...so I went, and I can go back whenever. I LOVE Dr. Lou, as you all know, but getting past the front desk can be tough. When I had ribs out, the first time they told me it would be like a week. I was like EXCUSE ME??? I KNOW that if I had talked to Dr. Lou himself he would have said come on in.

I didn't have a rib completely out today, but apparently a vertabrae was REALLY messed up, and the nerve from that runs along the rib (the last one that went out, up high on the left.) It's like a lovely burning hot poker is being shoved into my side, and when I cough at all, it's like that burning hot poker is slicing me open. By 3:00 I had taken 3 Aleve and 3 Tylenol 3's without relief.

I'm going to vent now, so for those of you who like the happy-sunshiney-you-can-do-it-posts, just stop now.

I am SO.SICK.AND.TIRED of telling my precious, innocent little boy that I can't do things. Jacob's latest catch phrase has been "But that's not fair!" And we keep getting on him because he said it ALLLL the time. So instead he started saying, "That's not good." But today was just NOT FAIR.

It was SO beautiful out today...and the breathing and MG is doing pretty good....I completely over did it on Saturday when I attempted to frantically clean the office before the computer dude came to fix my computer. Doug moved the GINORMOUS gun case out of the office so I can finally make it MY room for Creative Memories, my writing, and school with Jacob.

But anywho...so we're outside eating lunch (as picnic-y as I can get), and he's hitting a ball off his tee. He's awesome. Left hand, right hand, doesn't matter.

Then he gets his little mitt and and ball. "Mom, let's play catch!"

"I'm sorry honey, Mommy can't. Remember, I have an owie in my side?"

"Yeah, but I want to."

"I want to too, buddy, but I just can't."

"Mom, can you push me on the swing?"

"No, Jacob, I'm sorry, buddy. Mommy can't do that either."

"But that's not good."

"I know honey, I'm sorry."

"But Mom I want to swing!"

"I know, sweetie, but Mommy can't lift you onto the swing."

"Well can you push me then?"

Tears from Jacob. Tears from Mommy.

He must have asked 20 times about 10 different things and I just had to sit there like a damn bump on a log and not do jack because my#$!*&^% back and ribs are messed up again. Like I don't have enough to deal with!!!!

I felt like the crappiest mom on the planet today. Jacob just kept looking at me with those big blue eyes.....

This.just.plain. SUCKS.

1 comment:

Jenxr77 said...

Oh Kerri,

You struck a chord with me. I am constantly overdoing it on my good days and then having to say no to a 3 and 10 year old for days at a time. Just hold precious the days you can do things, they have come before and will come again. I know how it hurts to not be able to do the simplest things though. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and you are an awesome mommy!
Hugs,
Jen