Kamikaze Turkeys

It's been a while since we've had a turkey tale (you can decide if you want to read the other ones...one is hilarious and one is gross).  You really should read the hilarious one, and even the gross one has funny parts, but it is gross.  So anyway.

We have a mulberry tree in our yard.  The turkeys LOVE mulberries.  (It would be funnier if it was a cranberry bush, but hey, I don't make it up, I just write it).  They're really funny to watch, because one will find a mulberry on the ground, and then 3 or 4 will make a MAD dash toward the one eating.  

Well, eventually the mulberries ran out.  Our turkeys somehow realized there was a mulberry tree across the road.  So we had the same issue we had with previous free-range turkeys...they like to cross the road.  

My friend Tracy was up here from Florida at this time, and one afternoon we were watching the turkeys go across the road, and she said, "Why don't the chickens cross the road?"  I just kind of looked at her and she said, "Is there a joke in there somewhere?"

Bada -bum.

So.  Doug decided he would put up a string fence to keep the turkeys in.  Supposedly, they would see the fence, and their little bird brains would think they couldn't continue.  Well, next time someone calls you a bird-brain, take it as a compliment.

The Leader of the Turkeys, a large male, just stomped right through it.  And where the Leader goes, the rest of the flock follows.  So Doug went to the farm store and got a light-weight electric fence.  Surely this would stop the Leader of the Turkeys. 

{crickets chirping}

Nope.

So he goes BACK to the farm store and gets the same kind of electric fence as we use for the cows.  This stuff will give you a good shock.  So this is fence number 3.

Face off:  the Leader of the Turkeys vs. my husband.  The Leader scratches at the ground, gobbles, and charges.  Right. Through. The. Fence.  (With a very loud squawk.)

So my hubs, not to be outdone, soaks the ground all around the fence.

Leader of the Turkeys scratches the ground, gobbles, charges, and again:  right through the fence.

By this time, I can see the steam coming out of Doug's ears.  It was a bright sunny day, so he turned the hose on the turkeys (the Leader getting the worst of it).  Wet turkeys + wet ground+ electric fence=fried turkeys.  Right?

Nope.  The dang birds sat in the bright sunlight, patiently just waiting until they were dry.  And they went at it again.

Soon, however, the Leader of the Turkeys must have gotten a pretty good jolt.  Because now, they don't even go past OUR mulberry tree.

Who knew we'd be playing Survivor in our yard?  And with TURKEYS no less?!?  But my McGuyver did it.

Outwit.
Outlast.
Outplay.


(Regardless, come October, he would have been the Sole Survivor anyway!!)