There's a concept called 5-minute Fridays in the blogosphere. You're supposed to write for 5 minutes, unedited, un-proofed, no fixes, etc. I'm terrified to do it. You will all come to realize how very close to crazy I really am!
I read these very poignant, beautiful poems and prose that the women who participate in 5-minuted Fridays write. It's amazing. There aren't any typos either! I'm like, really? Me, unedited for 5 whole minutes? They do give you a topic, but my brain is like spaghetti. One string leads to another, and another....I start talking about friendship and end up talking about my Aunt Ethyl who had a hip replacement before I was born. (I don't have an Aunt Ethyl, by the way).
So, I'm doing a mini-version today, just to see what it would look like. I'm going to set my phone watch for like 3 minutes, and see what happens. The topic is: Chronic Illness. (I know, BIG shocker!)
I hate chronic illness more than I hate anything else in my entire world. It stinks. It's lonely. It's isolating. I just sent a prayer request to a few people that I know and love, and who will love me no matter how ugly I am inside OR out. I'm having loneliness issues right now, and having a hubby with the emotional quotient of a mushroom doesn't help. (Hey it said unedited). So I'm thinking, I just need prayer. I have to ask people to pray for me. And I did...at 2 AM when I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was how lonely I was and how my hubby's words of wisdom didn't exactly sit well. But he was right, really. I mean, who wants to give up their weekend and come sit with a sickie? People have lives. I understand that. I really do. But I want one. That's my problem! I want to be normal. Sort of. I just want to have some semblance of a real life where I can be sort of independent and go and do things that I know others can do. And I want more friends, like I used to have. Friends to go out with. But my stupid disease stops me from so much.
Okay, that wasn't so bad! Three minutes, and probably a million typos. That was about 72 words per minute, not counting errors. I don't know if "they" deduct from that or not. Do you ever wonder who "they" are anyway???
Anyway. I'm really excited about a bible study that I got that isn't even released yet, that I get to review. I'm not sure if I can say what it is or not so I won't for now, but let's just say I think it's exactly what I need right now.
To be truthful (do I know any other way??) I'm really struggling. I need an accountability partner. One who is tough, but won't make me cry or anything. I can be kind of...umm.... I'm not sure what the word is...let's just say I have a big personality??? I need someone to speak straight with me. But not someone too close. Any suggestions? I need to stay in this Bible study because I have a commitment to review it. I'm hoping that will get me in the habit of it anyway. It's a 10 week study, and it's supposed to only take 21 days to form a new habit. SO....
I've got so much I need/want to work on, but that needs to come first. I have to get out of this dumpy schlump I've been in (Yes, schlump is a word) and get back to kicking butt and taking names. Now if I can just find my butt-kicking boots.....
Oh, and P.S. My OCD wouldn't let me NOT fix the typos in my 3 minute unedited rant. SORRY!