Sunday, May 29, 2011

Brain Overload

There's a concept called 5-minute Fridays in the blogosphere. You're supposed to write for 5 minutes, unedited, un-proofed, no fixes, etc. I'm terrified to do it. You will all come to realize how very close to crazy I really am!

I read these very poignant, beautiful poems and prose that the women who participate in 5-minuted Fridays write. It's amazing. There aren't any typos either! I'm like, really? Me, unedited for 5 whole minutes? They do give you a topic, but my brain is like spaghetti. One string leads to another, and another....I start talking about friendship and end up talking about my Aunt Ethyl who had a hip replacement before I was born. (I don't have an Aunt Ethyl, by the way).

So, I'm doing a mini-version today, just to see what it would look like. I'm going to set my phone watch for like 3 minutes, and see what happens. The topic is: Chronic Illness. (I know, BIG shocker!)


I hate chronic illness more than I hate anything else in my entire world. It stinks. It's lonely. It's isolating. I just sent a prayer request to a few people that I know and love, and who will love me no matter how ugly I am inside OR out. I'm having loneliness issues right now, and having a hubby with the emotional quotient of a mushroom doesn't help. (Hey it said unedited). So I'm thinking, I just need prayer. I have to ask people to pray for me. And I 2 AM when I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was how lonely I was and how my hubby's words of wisdom didn't exactly sit well. But he was right, really. I mean, who wants to give up their weekend and come sit with a sickie? People have lives. I understand that. I really do. But I want one. That's my problem! I want to be normal. Sort of. I just want to have some semblance of a real life where I can be sort of independent and go and do things that I know others can do. And I want more friends, like I used to have. Friends to go out with. But my stupid disease stops me from so much.


Okay, that wasn't so bad! Three minutes, and probably a million typos. That was about 72 words per minute, not counting errors. I don't know if "they" deduct from that or not. Do you ever wonder who "they" are anyway???

Anyway. I'm really excited about a bible study that I got that isn't even released yet, that I get to review. I'm not sure if I can say what it is or not so I won't for now, but let's just say I think it's exactly what I need right now.

To be truthful (do I know any other way??) I'm really struggling. I need an accountability partner. One who is tough, but won't make me cry or anything. I can be kind of...umm.... I'm not sure what the word is...let's just say I have a big personality??? I need someone to speak straight with me. But not someone too close. Any suggestions? I need to stay in this Bible study because I have a commitment to review it. I'm hoping that will get me in the habit of it anyway. It's a 10 week study, and it's supposed to only take 21 days to form a new habit. SO....

I've got so much I need/want to work on, but that needs to come first. I have to get out of this dumpy schlump I've been in (Yes, schlump is a word) and get back to kicking butt and taking names. Now if I can just find my butt-kicking boots.....

Oh, and P.S. My OCD wouldn't let me NOT fix the typos in my 3 minute unedited rant. SORRY!


Rachel said...

I'm impressed!! It takes me more than 3 minutes just to decide what to blog. I guess that's why I only have 30 something posts. But then again I don't have the pressure of 100+ followers. (I have 10 and grateful for everyone)
I've addressed your funk in an email, so no comment here.

As far as your OCD goes, I'm glad you fixed the typos!! My OCD hates to read typos!!

Now go get that bible study done and start kicking some @$$...

Patty Ann said...

I think you did totally awesome for your first time. It is amazing what spills out when you just write. I hope you keep it up. Let me know about that Bible Study. It sounds awesome!