Two Things That REALLY Irritate Me

Hey there!

Okay, so you know those commercials and other ads for the home soap dispensers that are motion-activated? They keep saying, "Do you know how gull of germs the pump handle of your soap bottle is?" DUH. That's why we're washing our hands, Einstein. Because we have germs on them,. Ergo, the pump handle will have germs on it. I mean, really. Who's going to touch the pump of the bottle and then NOT wash their hands? Unless you have severe OCD with a tapping compulsion (you are excused...I know that's horrible!) NO ONE. So that is about the most overpriced soap on the planet. And I hope people are smart enough to figure that one out.

Second, and a bit more seriously...I've been thinking about Invisible Illness week coming up, and chronic illness in general. One thing that grates my nerves raw is that chronically ill people can NOT get life insurance, unless they want to pay HUGE dollars for practically nothing.

A few years ago Doug and I were getting life insurance. A nurse came out to give us "physicals" and take our medical history. (Little did this nurse know she would be writing a novel about me!!) Doug qualified for the super-premium-perfectly-healthy-low-blood-pressure-no-cholesterol-cheap-but-lots-of-coverage plan. I qualified for NOTHING.

Okay. Who need life insurance more: a perfectly healthy person? Or a chronically ill person? Seriously. Why on earth can't sick people get life insurance? Oh, because then the insurance company may actually have to PAY on a policy! What a racket (as in organized crime, theft, illegal activity). It should be illegal to deny someone life insurance. Yes, I know, when I'm 55 I can get the Alex Trebec life insurance. But what if I die before then?

I looked EVERYWHERE and found a super-helpful guy that tried SO hard to find something... Anything that I could get. He found one that if I paid like $150.00 a month, I would get $10,000 of coverage. Ten grand. Nice. In five and a half years I would have PUT IN 10 thousand. Thievin' bastages.

Anyway. If you are healthy, I don't care how old you are, GET LIFE INSURANCE!!! My sister has fibromyalgia and she can't get life insurance. It's ridiculous. It's insane! So go forth. INsure yourselves.

Eight Questions, Eight Answers

Okay Folks,
Rainforest Mommy posted this MeMe and invited her readers to play along:
Here are my answers:

1. Have you ever seen a ghost?

Nope. I don't really believe in "ghosts" per say; I believe that any spirits here on earth are either demons or angels, and though I've never had the privilege of seeing a heavenly angel, I've seen plenty in human form through the kindness or friends.

2. What is your most embarrassing moment?

After being in the hospital for 3 months with everybody seeing your business, getting sponge baths while you're unconscious? Ya. 'Nuff said.

3. What was your best job and why?

Anyone who knows me will know the answer! Towne Air Freight. I was an Operations Manager at a trucking company. I worked my way up from the "lowliest" position: part-time data entry on nights. Over the course of the next 3 years, I moved up the corporate ladder (by working my butt off thank you very much), and became the 1st or 2nd female Operations Manager in the entire Towne Air Freight Company (13 terminals?) LOVED IT.

4. What was your worst job and why?

It's a tie between a waitress at a greasy spoon diner next to a bar when I was 18, or being a telemarketer for about 2 weeks when I was 17. Both sucked for different reasons. The diner was nasty, dirty, had roaches, and the customers always hit on me. The telemarketing job, well, how do YOU feel about telemarketers? Exactly.

5. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the $?

First I'd pay off my bills. Then I would buy Fred and Joanna a house. IN MICHIGAN. Then I would give my parents a crapload of money and send them to Hawaii for all they have done for me. I would put another crapload in the bank for Jacob's college, I would give my sister Lori a bunch because they have no health insurance. I would send some to Pastor Alex in the Philippines who is the most precious man on the planet. His wife Emma has lots of health issues, so money would help them in their ministry as well as for Emma's medical treatment. I would also donate a bunch to the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation for research for a cure. Hope that was a HUGE jackpot!!!

6. Have you met any celebrities? If you have, what's the story behind it?

Well, I don't know if you'd call them celebrities, but I met the 1981 Detroit Tiger Baseball team while they were spring training at Lakeland, Florida. This was when they were really good. Alan Trammell, Kirk Gibson, Mark Fidrych, even Harry Carey!!! (He had BLACK hair back then!) It was really cool.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Sometimes when we'd all drive in the car together (there were 7 of us) especially if it was just the 5 girls, we would BEG my mom to sing. My mom sings like an angel, but we always wanted her to be goofy with us. We'd sing "There was an old man named Michael Finnigan"...anyone know that one? We'd start singing really low and slow like a tape that's going bad, and keep singing higher and faster until we sounded like the Chipmunks and were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Good times.

8. What's your biggest regret?

That I cannot have more children.

Feel free to play along and post your own answers if you'd like. If you do, send me a link and let me know!

Have a blessed day.

Chronic, Invisible Illness

Invisible Illness Awareness Week is September 13-19. However, I don't want to wait until then to start writing about it. The more information we can get "out there" the better off and more educated people will be.


I've talked about judgement, which I admit is super tough to NOT do. I'm sure I do it too! If I see certain people doing certain things I make assumptions. I do it a LOT less than I used to, but sometimes I don't think I'm even aware of it. I think our society has almost ingrained certain images into our mind of what's right, what's wrong, and what to think about this or that. Well it's time to start using our own brains, people.


Much of what society says is okay is definitely NOT.


Here are some things NOT to say to something with an "invisible" illness.

1. You look really good today! {thanks....it only took me 10 minutes to put my ponytail in today because my arms can't stay up for more than 10 seconds. I put make up on so you don't see the luggage under my eyes from not sleeping from being in pain, or not able to breathe...}

2. Well, you don't LOOK sick. {well thank God. I must not be then!}

3. I read about this doctor who uses hypnosis to cure anything! Maybe you should call him! {Ah, yes, and maybe I'll end up quacking like a duck when the clock chimes. Maybe you should go play in traffic. It will probably have the same effect.}

4. "Where do you work?"
"I can't. I have Myashtenia Gravis and cannot work anymore."
"Well have you tried? You look okay to me." {Well, stop the presses. If I look okay to YOU then I must be okay! Hallelujah! Of course I've TRIED. Do you think I LIKE not being able to work?}

5. "I'm so sorry. This must be so difficult for you! I couldn't never get through it. I'd just curl up and die." {Gee, thanks. Like I'm not depressed about it enough already!}

6. "Well, if you just have enough faith God will heal you." {Don't get me started on this one!!!}

7. "Oh, is that serious?" {Don't ask unless you really want to know. And most of the time, casual people don't want to know.}

8. "How are you?" {Honestly? See my answer to number 7. I may ask you if you want the TRUTH, or if you want me to just say fine. People always look shocked, which never ceases to amaze me.}

9. "What did you do to get that?" {Yes, I'm sure it's my fault. I'm sure I did something to set off this autoimmune time bomb in my body.}

10. "Maybe you should see a psychiatrist." {First, believe me I have. Mostly because of people like you. Second, just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. I. AM. NOT. CRAZY.}

And yes, I have actually heard every.single.one.of.these. To my face. Nice, I know.

If you have any questions about Myasthenia Gravis, chronic illness, Invisible Illness, whatever, PLEASE leave a comment and I will be MORE than happy to answer them.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Random Letters

Dear DiSH Network,

Yesterday we cancelled our service. Why, you ask? Because you KEEP sending fliers in the mail, in MY name, showing us how much MORE we're paying by being faithful customers. Bad idea. New customers pay $25.00 less a month for the same service. We call (because you keep sending the d$#% fliers) and ask what you can do for us to keep our patronage. You say $5.00 off a month for 3 months. A grand total of fifteen smackeroos. Fifteen WHOLE dollars over 90 days.

Are you smoking crack kidding?

So we cancel. And I sign up online, in my name, my phone number, and get the new rate.

Until...

Habib "Joe" calls and confirms our order, and asks to set up an installation date. He asks is we've had DiSH network before. I say yes. He asks if it's within 3 months. I say yes (because I don't lie). He says, sorry, you don't qualify for this pricing. So I say then I don't want it. And hang up.

Now. IF you have the balls guts to call me, after my cancellation, and ask what you can do to get my business back, you better have an awful lot of time and some soft toilet paper, because I will rip you a new one. Last time I cancelled you harassed me for months..."What can we do to get you back? What can we do? How about $9.99 a month for 6 decades?" Do us both a favor: lose my number.

And you know what else? You can kiss my bare-naked lily-white arse. I'd rather crawl naked, up hill both ways through broken glass than EVER have your "service" again.

May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels Infest Your Armpits,
An UNsatisfied, Highly Pissed Off EX-Customer


President Obama,

Yesterday on the way to my mother's with my four year old son who likes to use the potty every 10 minutes, we were stopped due to "road work." We were sitting still, not moving an inch for 7 minutes. SEVEN. With a four year old that likes to pee every 10 minutes, that's like 6 hours.

When we FINALLY start moving, we go past a construction "worker" holding a "slow" sign (how appropriate) chewing gum with his mouth wide open like a cow chewing cud. As we continue down the road, passing orange cones every 10 yards in the middle of the road, we see NO construction. ZERO roadwork. Nothing torn up, not on the main road, not on the side roads, NADA.

After about a mile, we pass another construction "worker" holding a "slow" sign. Mmm-hmm.
He's eating trail mix or m&m's or something. Nice. Still no "work" going on. Still passing orange cones, road work signs, and "Be Prepared To Stop" signs.

After 4-5 miles (which is a long flippin' time to have traffic stopped) we leave the "construction" zone. Not even a pebble had been disturbed. So was this like, "practice" construction worker training? Oh, I know...this is your stimulus money hard at work! Yup. Getting about as much done to benefit this country as YOU have done so far. It sure LOOKS like there's a lot going on, but all that's happening is money is getting wasted and people are getting pissed off. Pretty much sums up your days in office.

Stimulate THIS,
Someone Who Didn't Vote for You, Never Will, and Who is Trying to Figure Out the Best Place to Put her "Impeach Obama" Stickers.

In GOD we Trust.

Happy Anniversary, Honey

Ten years ago I became a married woman.

Ten years ago I married the man who would lead me through the rest of my life.

Doug was just 30, and I was 29. We were planning on getting married on February 10, 2001. However, I had to quit my job because of my health, which we both thought was stress from my job as Operations Manager at a trucking company. I quit on August 14, 2000.

Instead of getting better, I got worse. One night about a week later, we were talking about finances and such, and if we waited until February, I would have to pay for COBRA insurance for 6 months. All of the sudden, I was like, let's just get married. I"ll call the pastor, and we'll see what he's doing on Saturday.

Doug was 30, I was 29, and we absolutley knew we wanted to be together. There really was no point in waiting. And thank God...the whole situation really was ordained my Him, because I was in the hospital 6 weeks later...if I hadn't had good insurance...

And so it was. On Saturday August 26, 2000, Doug and I stood in front of our pastor (at the time), my parents, his aunt and uncle, his cousin, and my best friend Linda, in the foyer of the church, and said I do wearing our blue jeans. We were still planning the big fancy wedding for Feb. 10. I had the dress after all!

Well, then the whole hospital thing happened, and we ended up not being able to have our big wedding until August 2001, so Doug suggested the 25th, which was one day short of our 1 year anniversary. It was awesome.

So to the man I married twice:

I love you. We've been through so much. We've had more to deal with the first six months of our marriage than most people would deal with in 60 years.

You stood by me.
You loved me.

When we met, I was able-bodied, independent, and wanted to have about 6 kids.
Two months after we married I was bed-ridden, hospitalized, completely dependent, and children didn't even seem possible.

Yet you stayed. That alone shows so much integrity and character. I know a lot of men wouldn't have. Couldn't have. Even Christian men. But you stayed. When you said for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, you meant it. I don't know if anyone could really grasp how precious that is to me. How precious YOU are to me.

I thank God every day that He prepared you from the first day of your life to learn every skill and personality trait you would need to care for me some twenty years later.

You make me feel safe and protected.
Only you can calm me down when I'm truly freaked out.
I believe in you...when you say you can do something I know you can.
I know you will.

We have been through so much...good, bad, and oh yes....ugly! The wonderful vacations, the memories we make wherever we go, and now the family we are building with Jacob. I am proud to be your wife.

Thank you for taking care of me, and loving me, even when I'm not so lovable. Thank you for taking care of me when I can't take care of myself. I know neither of us is perfect, but we ARE perfect for each other.

You bless my heart, and I will love you til the day I die.
Happy Anniverary Babe.
I love you.

Invisible Illness

Invisible. Shrouded. Hidden. Veiled. Unseeable.

Sometimes I wish I could wear my illness. Yes, I have a trach, but that could be from cancer, which most people assume is the case. Sometimes I wear an eye patch because of the double vision, but there again...could be an injury.

When I go out of the house, unless I am going to the hospital, I do my hair, put make up on, try to look presentable. Even if I don't feel good. Even if I have to stop 23 times from putting my hair up because my arms give out. Why? I. Don't. Know.

Pride I suppose? Just because I feel like crap doesn't mean I have to look like crap?

So what would I wear if I could wear my illness? A sign that says, "I'm not drunk I have Myasthenia Gravis, that's why my speech is slurred and I sound like I have marbles in my mouth, and I may walk unevenly."

Another that says, "If I'm riding with you in a vehicle, please accelerate and break gently. Too hard and my head snaps back and forth because my neck muscles are too weak to hold my head up properly."

Probably should have one that says, "I can't breathe because my muscles are severely impaired by neuromuscular weakness, I'm not just out of shape. I also have an unfiltered hole in my neck, so you can imagine the yuck that lives in my lungs."

And, "Please don't make "Arrrr, matey" sounds when I have a patch over one eye. I have double vision, probably a severe headache from the double vision, and I'm exhausted. Unless I take the lead, I'm probably not in the mood for jokes."

I would have a sign that says, "Don't judge me for parking in handicapped just because I look okay now. When I'm done walking through this store, I may have to stop three times on the way to the parking lot."

And of course a sign that says, "Please don't say, 'But you look so good!' For what? Someone with an invisible illness who struggles every day of their life to choose to live and fight instead of give up and die?"

We are out there. We are someone you know.

Ever wonder why the middle age man on the subway is always so grumpy? Maybe he's in chronic pain.

Ever think that the young woman who "can't control her child" on the train has an invisible illness that makes her so weak and tired it's truly a miracle she and her child are even ON the train?

We are out there. We are sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, friends, aunts, grandchildren.
And we don't want to be invisible anymore.

TA-DA!!!!

So...what do you think???? Is Kate great or what? (Sorry couldn't resist the rhyme)! Seriously though....Kate from Mommy Monologues did this awesome new blog design! And, if you can believe it, it's only her SECOND one. She's pretty dang awesome if you ask me! SO....check it out! Let me know what you think!

FINALLY Some Pictures!

Oh my goodness! Being without my camera was horrible. I was going through withdrawl, I swear. Just like when I quit smoking TWELVE years ago!

So here's my sparkly glasses and part of my hair.

My hair has TOTALLY faded, and I'm super-bummed. The only thing is that the bleached part will be there for months, so as soon as it fades just a bit more, I can go over it again with better stuff. Ug. Who knew purple hair could be so difficult! When we FIRST did it, it was this pukey baby blue color. So then we went over it in purple, which turned it darker blue, and then the magenta which turned it magenta and purple and blue. Call me Rainbow Brite!

Anyway. Here are a few pictures of Jacob's birthday:

This is half of the 3-D train cake I made last year. (It was a total mess).

Here's opening presents at home in the morning.

And then at Grandma and Grandpa S.'s house.

And then at my parents's house, where we had his party.

I will post more later, my computer is giving me fits.

Happy Monday!

I'm So Excited....and I Just Can't Hide It!!

First, I'm excited because later this week it's FINALLY supposed to cool down and lose some humidity. Thank the LORD! Maybe I'll finally be able to go outside again.

Secondly, I'm excited because we're having a GINORMOUS garage sale and are getting rid of TONS of stuff.

But MOSTLY I'm excited because through a new bloggy-MG friend, I have found la blog designer extraordinaire! (You have to say that last part with a thick French accent.)

I'm about as technological as a toothpick, but I've always wanted a nicer looking blog. Seriously, I've said it before...Just the letters "html" make me start to twitch. But I never thought I could afford it. So when I met Kay, my new MG friend (her button is on my blog "A Dance with the Dragon"), she told me her DIL designed her blog and was very reasonable. OH. MY. GOSH. The woman is genius. Can't wait til you see it!!!

Turns out that the designer is Kate from Mommy Monologues, and we've run into each other on SITS! Wait til you see it. It's AWESOME!

Odds and Ends

Sorry it's been a while. Things have been kind of crazy here, and then yesterday we went to Ann Arbor for plasmapheresis. Had an extra poke that wasn't too pleasant...wen the honkin' needles don't get into EXACTLY the right spot, when the fluid starts going in it hurts like you know what.

We're having a ginormous garage sale on Labor Day weekend, so we've been busy doing that. My eyes have been giving me fits for days again.

Getting Jacob's old clothes ready for garage sale or donation always takes me down memory lane, and I usually get a bit misty-eyed. Today was no exception. Today was actually a bit worse...maybe because I'm already not feeling great from Ann Arbor yesterday. Every shirt, every outfit evokes strong memories. And knowing I'll never have more babies to make more of those memories makes my heart ache in a way I never thought possible.

Then I found a bunch of notebooks from when I was in the hospital, and when I couldn't talk at all (I was trached November 1, 2000 and didn't speak until late February 2001). Reading some of that stuff made me more emotional...so it's kind of a melancholy day here. {Big sigh}.

Well, life goes on, whether I want it to or not.

Wordless Wednesday

YOU!

Tired.

So this morning starts with making my coffee. Put it in the microwave to warm up becaue my machine doesn't get it really hot.

Then I hear: "MOM!!! A MOUSE!!!"

Ever since Jacob has seen Tom and Jerry, he always chases "mice." I have a very inventive child, so I was like, Mmm-hmmm.

But then my dogs started going crazy, and I turn my head just long enough to see this little gray mouse run under the door of my coat closet. Nice. Now what?

So I call Doug, leave him a message, and go about my business. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see this thing run out. I'm screaming "Mouse! Mouse!" Like what the heck good would that do? Hey, I've never claimed to have a sane mind during a rodent emergency.

Thankfully Jacob saw where it went (into the dining room) and Molly and Blackie had it cornered under the humidifier. So I moved all the stuff from behind it using my cane (found my handicapped tag that I thought someone stole), and a few things off the top.

Molly and Blackie were going crazy! I moved the humidifier out just a little. Nothing. I pulled it out a little more....nothing! Finally I was like, okay Molly, get ready. I pulled it out all the way, and Jacob (good ol' eagle eye) saw it go behind Moosie's water bowl. It ran out a little bit from there, and kind of looked around frantically. I think it knew it's time was limited. Molly got to it first and byebye mouse.

So I took a rag towel, picked it up (I can't believe I didn't put gloves on first, but I had about 4 layers of towel in my hand), put it in a plastic bag, put the plastic bag in the kitchen garbage bag, then emptied it and put it in the dumpster.

My poor coffee has been in the microwave no less than 5 times getting warmed up. (Yes, same cup). I have to make cupcakes for Jacob's party at Auntie Shawn's with "the kids" tomorrow, and put the goodie bags together. I think that's gonna be about it for me. I am exhauted!!

I have plasmapheresis on Friday, so that should give me a boost. Let's hope so! MG sucks.

Survived the Weekend

Oh my goodness. I will never again go away for 4 days getting back 1 1/2 days from my child's birthday.

We got home from Soaring Eagle (broke even) on Friday around 3. Spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking, talking to Jacob, kissing Jacob, hugging Jacob, telling Jacob how much I love him and missed him....

Then Saturday I had 2 cakes baked by 10:30 (yes, AM). One in a train mold to go on top of the 9x13 cake. Then I had to decorate the train (why do I do this to myself???) I will post pictures when I get my camera back. I left it at my mom's yesterday at Jacob's birthday party.

Then I had to wrap all of his presents, and I got all the stuff ready for his birthday party at Auntie Shawn's on Wednesday. I also was, of course, taking care of Jacob and still unpacking. Plus I did a boatload of dishes, then I baked cookies for Mr. Tim who came over to let our doggies out during the day while we were gone.

Can't remember what else was in there, but at 9:00 PM I did my hair with the magenta color to cover up the light blue....long story there....The original bottle said "shocking violet" and it turned out puke-baby blue. I am NOT a pastel kind of girl. (Yes I have pictures, but again, on my camera at my mom's. She's coming Friday to watch Jacob while we go to Ann Arbor).

Then yesterday Jacob opened some presents here in the morning, then we got ready, had a bite of lunch, went to Doug's parents for presents, then to my parents' for Jacob's birthday party. Food and cake and presents. By the end of the party, I had to get a neck pillow because my head was tipping over.

So I thought I would rest today, but ended up playng with Jacob, while doing 5 loads of laundry, dogs in and out (which Jacob helps with a lot!) Not to mention the fact that I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep...until almost 5:00, and that's when Jacob woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep. I tried to nap this afternoon but just ended up resting.

Then Doug got home and I thought, oh cool, he can take Jacob out while I pay the bills and write blog posts and stuff. Um, nope. He went to go pull logs down to start getting ready to chop wood for winter. I can't imagine that with this weather lately, but he is Mr. Boy Scout. Always be prepared.

Today is beautiful though...NO humidity and just about 80. We had the windows open allll day.
Hopefully tomorrow I can get some rest before Jacob's party Wednesday!
Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday to My Sweet, Precious Boy!

My precious, precious Jacob,

It was exactly four years ago today that the culminating miracle in a series of miracles came to pass. YOU were brought into this world, into this life, into my heart.

I will never forget the first moment I saw you, you had so much hair! And it was so curly! They held you up, I saw your face, and I knew I was in love. I cherish the feeling that memory brings to me.

Jacob, you are more than any Mommy could ask for in a child. You are brillliant. You are creative and wild, you are beautiful. You love Jesus. You are so brave.

Mommy can hardly believe I've already been blessed with 4 years with you in this life. Sometimes I look at you and think, "What on earth did I do that was so amazing that God gave me YOU as my child?" I am so thankful for you.

When you were a baby I always made sure you had 100 kisses a day. I wish I could still do that, but usually I get, "Mom! Stop! That's enough!" Part of my heart laughs, while the other part aches. You're not a baby anymore, that is certain. You are growing into such a wonderful little boy.

I have tried to cherish every second we have together, because it really does fly by. Just yesterday you were pulling yourself up to stand, saying "mama" (first word, thank you very much), and jumping like crazy when Daddy held you with your feet to the ground.

Now you go out and play, and hit a baseball, or want to play bad guys and tear around the yard. I love watching your independence grow. I love watching how you solve problems, just like your Daddy. I love just watching you.

As you continue to grow I have so many prayers and hopes for you. First of all, I pray that more than anything else, you love God, and follow His plan for your life. Nothing could make Mommy happier than that.

I hope you never have to hurt physically like you did when you were in the NICU when you were born. I want to protect you so you never ever hurt again, but I know that sometimes you have to hurt to learn.

I hope that I teach you well intellectually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Being your Mommy can be a tough job, but it's the best job I've ever had.

I pray that you will grow up strong and healthy, creative and compassionate. I hope you love to help others as much as you do now.

There is so much more I could say to you my precious boy. My life changed the moment I saw you. My heart aches at the thought of you getting bigger, yet it leaps for joy as it watches you grow. I know as a parent my job is to raise you to go into the world and be successful. But the thought of you going anywhere is too much for me to handle right now.

You give Mommy so much joy. You light up my life. You have expanded my heart. If it gets any bigger it just might burst.

So happy birthday to the best little boy in the world. I love you more than you could ever understand.

Love,
Mommy

Checking In

So it's day 3 away from Jacob, and I'm doing okay. I'm actually a little bummed that I didn't have more time to myself. I am getting my haircut in an hour. The "shocking violet" turned out to be puke baby blue, so Doug went over part of it with some other purple we KNEW was purple (so now it's DARK blue); and added a streak of magenta.... good grief. I look like flippin' Rainbow Brite. I'm kind of getting used to it, but the only thing I really like is the magenta. So I'm going to get it layered, and see if it looks better.....I don't think they have time to color it...but Doug does fine. It would look freakin' awesome if the color had been PURPLE like it was supposed to be! UG!

Anyway. These conferences are something else. Lots of eating. Most of it is buffet style. The first night they had all these different lines of buffets: Italian, American, Asian. My heavens! And everything's paid for, plus you get drink tickets for whatever kind of beverage...pop, wine, beer, whatever.

Then LAST night we didn't have a conference dinner to go to but we got invited to a private party (talk about hoity-toity!) with an open bar, and a 3 course meal. Ya know, I enjoyed it, but I would have enjoyed it more 15 years ago. I was in the business world, and I could smooze with the best of them. I was in the game back then...the management game. I'm not quite the socialite I used to be, what with the trach, the MG, double vision, the farm life I have grown accustomed to, oh, yes, and a MORAL CONSCIENCE.

These two guys joined our table a little late (drunk and drunker), and you could tell they were already WELL on their way to a drunken stupor. Later on, after we spent a little time on the slots (Doug won $60.00) we were heading back to our room through the smoke-hazed halls, and drunk #2 was soaking wet and screaminng at the time of his lungs "Hey, Fat Jesus!" I have NO idea who he was talking to, because we could hear him waaaay before we could see him, and it's like he was looking at someone (maybe that only he could see??). Even his "friends" seemed mortified.

It had poured down rain to the point of having about a 2 foot pond in the front of the hotel where you walk in. I don't know if he had gone swimming, or just outside. He was just yelling and screaming. Not something you usually hear in a place like this, even in the casino part! Every person we passed was trying to take a glimpse of the debacle, and I was like, it's just a drunk guy. A really, really drunk guy who should have been asked to leave.

As we passed the main desk they were sending some young girl to check it out. Not the best call in my opinion. I saw the dude this morning in his "grown-up" clothes and wanted to run up to him and ask him how he felt. I had the whole scenario playing in my mind about "don't you remember me?" But I would NEVER do anything to embarrass my husband. Unless he gave me permission! : )

Doug and I shared breakfast this morning from room service, and we're on our own for lunch. Then tonight is the formal dinner... Then tomorrow we go home already! It's gone SO fast! I've been working on sevral posts for my other blog...I'm trying to get the thoughts racing through my head into logical divisions...so bear with me. Hope you check it out! It's at Is God A Politician?

Hello from the Soaring Eagle

So here I am, on the 7th floor of the Soaring Eagle Casino Hotel. Nice view, even if it is only the parking lot. Doug has a conference here, and I got to come along for the ride. Yay me!

So we got someone to house sit and take care of our animals (cow, chickens, rabbits, turkeys and dogs), and Jacob went to Auntie Shawn's. I told him I was going to miss him, and he said, "I'll miss you too, Mommy, but I can still love you from far away. My heart can do that, ya know."
Okay, thought I was going to melt!

Anyway. I just finished my hand-delivered breakfast complete with omelet, hashbrowns, toast, coffee...oh, yeah and it was $17.00!!! Oh.My.Flippin.Word!! Included gratuity and some other tax, but still. DANG! Oh well, like THAT will ever happen again...might as well take advantage of it!

I'm going to see about getting my hair done or something this afternoon while Doug has more meetings.

The only really crappy thing is that the whole building is NOT smoke free (because it's a casino and they'd lose money) so every time I go to or even walk by the casino, I can hardly breathe. I've been breaking even on the slots...that's all I'll play...most bang for your buck. Smaller winnings, but smaller losses as well!

The MG has been kind of a pain....be the end of the day yesterday I had pretty bad double vision, and my legs were super weak. I really should have a wheelchair or electric cart for long walks with ups and downs like this place...it's probably about 1/4 mile from the room to where Doug has his meetings and where our dinners are. And you have to go past the casino, which us all open, so there's no avoiding the smoke. I have my cane, which helps with steps and balancde, but it doesn't really help my legs NOT getting weak.

Oh well...two more full days of pampering, then it's back to reality. I miss my Jacob, but it's WONDERFUL to ony be responsible for ME for a couple of days!

More later!
rom f

Catching Up

Well, it's been a little crazy over here! Last Thursday night Joanna and I went to hear a Christian woman who used to be a witch. She was a medium, psychic and ghosthunter. I am so absloutely creeped out by all that stuff that it was tough to hear some of it...Just goes to show how different God makes us! This lady Kristine McGuire, was wonderful to listen to. She said she was always fascinated by the supernatural.



I personally, have always been freaked out by the supernatural. Unless it's an angel comingor God Himself, I don't want to see it. Let me tell you after listening to Kristine I rean home for my Bible!



The most shocking, scary thing she told us is about one of her "investigations" at a "haunted" place. She could "feel" the spirits there. She said that at this particular place, she felt the urge to cast out this "ghost" in the name of Jesus. (Kristine was saved at a very young age and given the gift of discernment). She had not spoken the name of Jesus in almost 8 years.



So very non-chalantly, she speaks "In the name of Jesus you need to leave. You're not wanted here, and you can't come back." Then she kind of looked around and waiting. Nothing.



A little while later her group lead send her an audio (I think it's called an EVP or something). She listened to it. It picked up right AFTER she had spoken the name of Jesus. She then said she heard on the audio what could nly be described as an inhuman scream.



Yup. I about peed myself right there.



Her husband is a compuer audio technician, so she asked him to evaluate the recording to make sure it was genuine. He did, and it was.



Kristine says she fell on her face and begged God to forgive her...she has had an insatiable desire for Scripture even since. Praise God.



I tell you this not to scare you, but to share that this stuff is NOTHING to be messed with! Shoes like "Ghosthunters" glorify this stuff....all it really is is messing around with the demonic. If that's what you're into...wellll...go ahead.



There are no such things as human spirits. Aunt Helen is not pacing the floor upstairs, and Uncle George isn't flushing the toilet. As Kristine said most things have a natural cause. Houses do settle, pipes can rattle, floors can squeak. IF, however, none of these pan out, you call your pastor and start speakng the name of Jesus.

Human spirits leave the body when the person dies. They either go to meet God face to face, or go to a place of separation from God. Any "spirit" that you encounter are demons from the pit of hell. It's really that simple!



But we don't have to be afraid! We have the authority to cast out demons in Jesus' name.

Luke 10:18-20 (New International Version) 18He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. 20However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

Anyway, she has a book on the subject, so check out her website: www.kristinemcguire.com

Also, my eyes have been a bit buggy even WITH my glasses, but without them I can't IMAGINE how bad it would be!

Oh, and my hair now hair light blue, metallic blue and magenta along with what's left of my plain ol brown. Time to shake things up a bit.

All I can say is if the bottle says "violet" ya don't expect light blue!!!! More on that later.

Girls Night Out!

Woot! Woot! It is girls night out tonight! And boys night IN!

Joanna and I are going out for some much needed girl time. Of course it's going to start with an Oh-so-exciting trip to the chiropractor for me....but then we're going out for dinner and to a praise and worship thing. There is a woman speaking about being a witch, then a Christian witch (which isn't possible, but some think they are, I guess), and how she escaped the strongholds of witchcraft. Very interesting!

Hopefully there will be some praise this time, because last time there was not, and it was a definite bummer.

It will be good just to talk and catch up and stuff (with Joanna).

We have decided to ditch the Beth Moore Bible study Believing God...Joanna and her family are doing a different study that is kind of similar, but maybe even more in depth, and I have done it before. It's just not motivating us or really helping me get closer to God right now. Before we went to Florida I had ordered the Bible study Ruth by Kelly Minter (we had previsouly done No Other Gods).

We BOTH feel the pull to do this study right now. I think for me it is for several reasons, not the least of which is preparing for Joanna's likely departure from the state. But I can't think about that right now. Cuz I'm not in the mood to bawl.

Doug is having a guy from work over for steaks...he's here from Minnesota for a week working on the SCADA system. So Doug and Mark and Jacob will be holding down the fort here.

SO....signing off for now....but stay tuned...information will be coming about a NEW blog I am going to start...about (of all things) Christianity and POLITICS!!! I certainly don't want to mix that with this blog, because this is for people with chronic illness, their families, and hopefully education.

Hope you all have a blessed day!

I'm A Guest Blogger!

Today I have the honor of writing my first guest post ever! Please check out Ashley's blog, A Young Wife's Tale.

Ashley is a beautiful, young Christian wife who lives with her courageous husband David, who has psoriatic arthritis. We "met" blogging, and her blog is wonderful! Please check it out!

Only on Monday

Good grief. Never, ever, EVER go to get fasting bloodwork done at the hospital lab at 9:30 on Monday morning when you're diabetic and forgot to go at 7 when they opened. Ug. By the time I was done I was ready to chew off my left arm.

The joy started when the chickie checking me in had to ask the same 5,000 questions they always ask, then had to scan my insurance cards AGAIN, then asked the same 3,500 questions about why I am on Medicare, THEN they have to check every.single.test. on the stupid lab sheet to see if our unbelievably crappy socialist government insurance Medicare covers it.

Of course that leads us to:

Chickie: Oh, THAT one isn't going to be covered.

Me: {heavy sigh, icy stare}

Chickie: The 25 hydroxy vitamin D deficiency test. They never cover that one. We never get the correct diagnosis code. Let me double check.

Me: {thinking} If you can spout off all that I'm pretty sure you know if it's covered or not.

Chickie: Nope. That's what I thought. Okay, so the test is $425.00. Would you like to pay for that now or shall I call your doctor to fax new orders? {sacharine smile}

Me: {after picking myself up off the floor}. I am NOT paying $425.00 for anything. I'm not waiting for you to call my doctor. I'm diabetic, it's getting late, and I'm hungry. {not to mention I just started "aunt flo" as Joanna would say, my throat hurts and I'm ready to smack someone.}

Chickie: Okay, I need to print out this form, and have you sign here, fill this out...

Me: {thinking, holy crap woman, just cross the dang thing off and let's get on with it}

Chickie: {gets out her little red star stamp, circles this, marks that} This is a legal document so I need you to initial here, check this box, sign here, and give me your first born. (just kidding on that last part)

Me: {initialing, signing, blah blah blah}

Chickie: {sing-songing} Here you go, have a nice day!

Me: Too late

So I get to the lab waiting area. Good heavens, do the dregs of humanity come out on Mondays. Not to mention the "special" hospital volunteer guy who was about eye level with my chest and kept saying "hello."

There were also two "special" adult people there. One was VERY concerned about a dog that had run away and maybe was at the dog "pond" (it's POUND people!!!!) The second gentlemen was a little like Rain Man without the sexy brother. After being there for about 10 minutes, trying very hard to just read my book and ignore the sights, sounds....and SMELLS....Mr. RainMan leans forward in his vinyl chair as far as he can without falling out, and farts long and loud.

My sentiments exactly, RainMan. My sentiments exactly.

Happy 40th Birthday, Honey

On this very day, 40 years ago, I had one of the best days of my life (even though I was only 5 1/2 months along inside my mommy's tummy). That was the day you were born, and the day that God started preparing you to be my husband. He would give you life experiences that would more than equip you for all the things you needed to take care of me almost 30 years later.

So on this, your 40th birthday, I want to make sure you realize how much I appreciate you, how much I admire you, and how much I love you. You have changed my life for the better, and I am so proud to be your wife.

I want everyone to know how you take care of me. How we were only married for 6 WEEKS, and I ended up in the hospital for three months. How you slept on the couch to take care of me for 6 MONTHS. How you stood by me when so many others would have left.

I am so proud of you. You started a job at a basic level, and soon were out-performing everyone there, including your boss. Now you ARE the boss, and the City may never realized how lucky they are to have you. I thank God every day that you are such a wonderful provider.

You are my best friend, and my heart's desire. You are the love of my life. I am so grateful you chose me. I pray that we have at least 40 more years to be together, to love each other, and celebrate each other.

You are amazing, honey. You are everything I could ever need or ask for in a man. I love you with all of my heart, and I only wish you could see yourself through my eyes....for then, you would see a miracle.

I love you, babe.
Happy Birthday,
Sweet Pea