To Jacob on His 6th Birthday

Dear Jacob,

I can't believe it has been 6 years since you came into my life.  I remember every detail of your life.  I took 100 pictures a day, I think, because I didn't want to forget one second.  Every outfit.  Every movement.  Every smile.  Every landmark moment.

I remember silly things, like how every time I made you laugh you got the hiccups.  I remember difficult things, like how hard it was to burp you, and how Mommy's arms just couldn't hold up.
I remember wonderful things....like holding you while you napped, and just staring into your precious, beautiful, angelic face, and seeing the miracle of you.

It was hard getting you here.  Mommy was very, very weak during almost her whole pregnancy.  But it didn't matter.  I loved having you grow inside me.  I got to watch you grow on the inside because Mommy had lots and lots of ultrasounds.  I could even see your chubby cheeks on the ultrasound at 20 weeks!

There are so many things I want for you;  I don't know where to begin.  I guess most importantly I want you to know that I love you to the moon and back.  You are my heart.  You give me joy. Your smile lights up the darkest day.  I want you to grow up and be a man of character and integrity.  Remember that.  There is NOTHING more important.  Be a man of your word.  Love God first.  Always.

There will be times in life when you feel all alone, and maybe even a little scared. That's okay.  God is with you. He will never leave you.  Not ever.  He will comfort you and be with you all the days of your life.  Live for Him first.  Everything else will fall into place.

Mommy wants nothing more than for you to be happy.  I will do whatever I can to make that happen. You are such a precious gift to me.  You are a MIRACLE.  Mommy never thought in a million years that I could do what I did when I had you.  God wanted YOU to be born.  Not any other child that Mommy and Daddy could have created, but YOU.

You can do anything with God on your side.  Remember that.  I love you with all of my heart and then some.  You are the most precious, priceless child.  I thank God for you every day, and pray that you will grow up strong, healthy, and that you will love God as long as you live.

To my very special precious boy:  I love you.  And Happy, Happy Birthday.
Love
Mommy  

Happy Birthday Jacob

My precious, precious boy.  You are 5 years old today.  I can hardly believe it.  You are getting so grown up and it makes Mommy so happy to see you growing tall and strong and healthy.  But at the same time I want you to stop and stay little and want to cuddle with your Mommy every morning forever.

I will never forget the first moment I saw you.  I was so weak I couldn't do anything but whisper. But they lifted you over the curtain, and I saw your chubby cheeks and your crazy, thick, black curly hair and I smiled the biggest smile ever.  And I cried the happiest tears of my life.

But you were very sick, and Mommy was so weak I didn't get to hold you until the next day.  You had to have oxygen and a feeding tube. It made me very sad.  Then you had to go on a ventilator, and Mommy was just beside herself.  You had what Mommy has (MG) but only for a while.  It would go away and never come back, but waiting was the hardest thing ever.  I was the only one to hold you every single day.  Mommy had to leave you in the hospital every day and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

We FINALLY got to take you home, exactly 5 weeks after you were born.  You were such a good baby.  You slept all night almost right away, and you only cried when you were tired, hungry, or needed your diaper changed.  You just watched, observed.  You loved bright shiny things, and you took everything in.  You were kind of somber and quiet, (Mommy thinks your cheeks were too heavy for you to lift at first!) but when you smiled and giggled my heart just melted.

You grew and grew, and were so healthy.  That was the best news for Mommy.  And now you are five. You are smart and strong and beautiful.  You are crazy and wild and tender all at the same time.  You are the best of your Daddy and me.  You are ALL boy, but yet you have such a tender heart and compassion for all things.

I hope for you that you keep growing up strong, and that you keep loving God and Mommy and Daddy as much as you do today.  Remember that loving God and listening to Him is more important than anything else in the whole world.

I could not possibly be more proud of you than I am.  Your smile melts my heart.  Your eyes make me cry.  When you squeeze my neck and give me the best hug ever, all is right with the world.

I can't imagine how I ever took a breath without you in my life.  It's hard to even remember life without you in it.  You are my very special, precious boy.  You are the most perfect gift I've ever received.  I will love you forever and ever....and always.

Happy Birthday my darling boy.  Mommy is so proud of you.