Being Thankful On Purpose

There are times in everyone's lives when you just plain have a bad day.  Even if things are going well, and you're feeling good... sometimes you still have a crappy attitude. (And when I say "you" I mean "me" too!)  So I'm challenging myself, and you, to be thankful on purpose. I have SO much to be thankful for, that sometimes I need to remind myself. 

1. I am thankful that God's mercies are new every morning. NO matter how badly I screw up, He will forgive, truly forget, and start every new day with a clean slate. That needs to be number one on EVERYONE'S thankful list.

2. I am thankful that we have a wood burner, and don't have to pay almost $4.00 a gallon for fuel oil to heat our house. I'm thankful we have woods all around us and don't have to pay for wood. I am thankful that Doug is able to get all the wood we need for winter without paying someone else to get it. Praise God!

3. I am thankful that my husband is a Christian man, has a good job, is hard working, faithful, trustworthy, loving, a wonderful provider and a great dad. (He's awfully cute too!)

4. I am thankful I have a beautiful, healthy, smart, loving, busy, crazy, amazing, gregarious, precocious, full-of-life son, when I thought I never could. Miracles happen, folks.  I'm living proof.

5. I am thankful for the friends that I have that I know I can count on for WHATever, WHENever. Thank you for letting me know that I can depend on you, call you in the middle of the night (only for an emergency, I promise!)…I love you and appreciate you more than you can know.

6. I am thankful I have a computer, and internet, because it allows me to keep in touch with everyone I love.

7. I am thankful for music. It moves me like nothing else can.

8. I am thankful that although I have health issues, I can see and hear. I can walk, and talk, maybe not perfectly, but I can.  I'm so, so, so thankful for the IonCleanse.  It has given me my life back.  Thank you, Lord!!

9. I am thankful that this life is not all we have. That when the time comes, I will be in the presence of God Almighty, and I long to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant." I will be whole again. There will be no more night. No more pain. No more tears. Hallelujah! I will be reunited with those gone before, and meet fellow Christian friends I have not had the privilege to meet in this lifetime.

10. I am thankful for YOU, yes you!  The one who is taking the time to read my words.  I am thankful you read this, and I want you to know you are loved.

May we all find something we are thankful for today. I'd love to hear what YOU'RE thankful for...leave a comment!

¹ Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
    let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
² Let us come before him with thanksgiving
    and extol him with music and song.

³ For the Lord is the great God,
    the great King above all gods.

Psalm 95:1-3

The End, and The Beginning

So I left y'all last time as I was saying goodbye to Dr. Moretti and the December team of neurologists at the U of M in Ann Arbor, MI.  My diagnosis was either bulbar palsy, degenerative and terminal; or myasthenia gravis (MG), treatable, but not curable. You can read about the confusion of the November idiots doctors here. http://sickofmg.blogspot.com/2017/06/when-they-told-me-i-might-die.html

I had a follow-up appointment for February, 2001.  When I got to that appointment, everyone was *shocked*.  I mean open-mouthed, calling nurses into the room, getting the head of the neurology department, Dr. Albers, into the room, shocked.  Dr. Albers told me there was no medical reason for me to be alive.  He said I was a true miracle.  Now coming from a "man of science", that was pretty impressive.  But then, God does that... Impresses people.  Usually when you are with a doctor, by the way,  you don't WANT to be impressive... but this time, it was awesome!

Dr. Moretti was thrilled.  Beyond thrilled.  What I didn't realize at the time, and didn't find out until a few years ago, was that my discharge papers read "Bulbar palsy" as the diagnosis upon discharge.  They didn't expect me to LIVE to see February, let alone be there, much improved, from the last time they saw me. 

So even though I did not have ONE positive test at this point, my diagnosis was Myasthenia Gravis.  It was the beginning of a new life, a life with an incurable, neuromuscular disease.  A new normal.  One that would lead to many ups and downs; many more miracles and "no medical reason" situations; and many, many prayers.  It was the prayer of God's faithful people and His grace and mercy that helped me live through my hospitalization.

My husband, through all of this, was amazing.  There is NO way I could have gotten through this without him.  Honey, you are truly my hero.   God blessed this man with everything he could possible need to be my husband.  He was ingenious. When I got home around midnight two days before Christmas in 2000, none of my hospital equipment was there.  I was still on a feeding tube, and it was time for my next "meal."  The pump wasn't there. Doug grabs a fishing pole and sets up a gravity feed for me.  Amazing.

One time, when we were up in Escanaba (think Alaska but in northern Michigan; cold and remote!) visiting his parents, in the middle of winter, my suction machine quit working at about 2 A.M.  I *freaked*.  Doug calmly put on his Carharts (for those of you who don't know what Carharts are, think canvas covered snow pants...nothing gets through them, and every man who lives north of the Mason-Dixon line has some), went out to the truck, got his tool box and came back into the room.  He took apart my suction machine, studied some parts, then asked for the ear wire of an earring.  I was baffled to say the least.

He soldered the earring wire into the circuit board to make a connection where one had been broken.
{pausing for applause to die down}

The man is a ROCK star.

The sad fact is that 3 out of 4 marriages where one partner is chronically ill ends in divorce. That's 75%.  Might be even higher.  Doug stood by me...we had been married all of 6 weeks when I went to the U of M for the first time.  SO many men would have walked.  Not mine.  I'll be eternally grateful.

Next time, the conclusion (I think) to my "diagnosis" story.

Copycat Post

The featured blogger today on SITS said that someone encouraged her as a post to list 10 HONEST things about herself. I thought Hmmm....that would be interesting...so I decided to copy her! : ) So here we go:

1. I am a Christian who loves God and trusts Him with my life. I know that without him, I wouldn't even be here. I screw up all the time, and God loves me anyway, just the way I am.

2. I have been overweight all of my life, and have recently found the Holy Grail of MY weightloss...Symlin. This is a medication used to help control diabetes, and a "side effect" is weight loss. And it's working. Hallelujah for that.

3. Lack of communication drives me crazy. I would rather beat the dead horse until I KNOW that poor thing is never rearing its head again instead of ASSUME that someone knows what I mean. I have been on BOTH ends of miscommunication, and it's just ridiculous. Make sure people understand you, and that you understand them, BEFORE you end a conversation.

4. People who say things they don't mean make me angry. Very angry. People who say mean, horrible things, and then say, "OH, just kidding." They need a slap upside the head. It's this simple people: SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. It's not rocket science. Words hurt way more than you know, and as Dr. Phil would say, "You can't un-ring a bell." Your words are powerful. They have meaning. And once they are out of your mouth, you can NOT take them back.

5. The things I hate most about being chronically ill are:
-feeling like I'm not a good enough mom and wife
-losing my independence almost completely
-having the trach and losing my ability to sing (I sang in a quartet in college, and at weddings
here and there)
-I can't have more children (well, I could TRY, but I don't think I'd live through that again!)

6. The things I am most grateful about being chronically ill are:
-I am much closer to God than I was before my I became ill
-I am more patient
-Little things just don't bother me anymore...takes too much energy
-I really appreciate life; and I try reeeallly hard not to take things for granted
-I am not afraid to speak my mind (even MORE so than before, for those who knew me
before!) good, bad, or ugly.
-I love more quickly, more fully, and more deeply
-I forgive more easily

7. Looking at 5 and 6, I guess I'm thankful I got this stupid illness. More pro's than con's. Important ones anyway.

8. I LOVE where I live, out in the country, but it's too far from my family.

9. My husband is my best friend. Every year he gets more handsome. He is brilliant. He has the ingenuity of McGuyver, Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett all rolled up into one. He is good at everything he tries. He has a steady job, which he works very hard at, and is good at it. I love him with all my heart, and pray we are together for many, many, many years.

10. My son is the light of my life. He is so smart, and precious and special. There aren't even words that can describe the feelings my heart holds...joy and sadness and expectation and love. Protection and recklessness. Amazement and awe. They just aren't strong enough. Often I look at him and get tears in my eyes. I think, "I can't believe I really get to keep you." I have never known such fierce love. I will fight for him to the death...especially if you're a ROOSTER!