Stop Chirping!!

"Who knows the beginning of the things which we CAN know? Theory! Theory! We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise." -Walter Wangerin

This was posted on a friend's Facebook awhile back, and it really caught my attention.  I am a person who used to HAVE to be surrounded by noise.  Two things have always been extremely difficult for me to do: to be still, and to be quiet. (Ask my mom.)  In fact, my mother got me a Precious Moments pin when I was probably 12 or so, and it said, “Slow me down, Lord!” 

I used to hate quiet.  Hate it. The silence literally hurt my ears.  It was deafening! I grew up sleeping with a fan all summer because we lived in a house that didn’t have air conditioning.  I got used to the noise.  Now, I have my oxygen concentrator at night, and my compressor which sounds like a small, low-flying aircraft!  I cannot sleep without noise.  My poor husband!  He loves the stillness…the absolute quiet of darkness.

When I still lived with my folks, I remember coming home late in the evening, and finding my mom sitting in the living room, by herself, in the half-dark, no radio or TV on, nothing. She was just sitting there. She wasn’t even looking at a magazine or reading a book! I used to think she was crazy. Then I had a child!

Before I got sick, I had to fill every atom of space around me with something: noise, music, work, play, fun, people.  I was so afraid of the silence and what it might bring; that I would have to own up to some inappropriate behavior or that I would have to admit that I didn't know it all or have it all, that I couldn't DO it all. It was through all that noise that I lost the ability to hear the whispering of my Lord.

¹¹ Then He [God] said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”   I Kings 19:11-13 NKJV

I LOVE this Scripture.  I remember the first time I read it; it made SO much sense to me!  I had not been hearing that “still small voice” because I had been listening to the wind, and the earthquakes, and the fires. 

Thankfully, I did get sick, and being sick forced me to slow down and be quiet.  And once again I began to hear that still, small voice of God. I think part of appreciating the silence is not being afraid of it. "We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise."  If we're trying to figure everything out we don't have to live with the unknown, because the unknown is terrifying.

If we're talking and moving and doing, if we’re focused on the wind and the earthquake and the fires in our lives, we’ll never be able to hear what God is trying to say.  Because many times, God isn’t in the loud, dramatic things. He’s in the caress of a gentle breeze.  He’s in the touch of a newborn’s cheek to our own. He’s in a whispered “I love you”, as you watch your child fall asleep.

So today I challenge you to be quiet. To embrace the silence.  To put aside the theories.  To stop trying to solve the world's problems... or even your own. And just listen for that still small voice.  Put down the remote, turn off the computer, take a deep breath, and Just. Be. Still.

Stop Chirping!

"Who knows the beginning of the things which we CAN know? Theory! Theory! We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise." -Walter Wangerin

This was posted on a friend's facebook status today, and it really caught my attention.  I am a person who used to HAVE to be surrounded by noise.  I still am at night, much to the dismay of my husband, who loves perfect silence at night.

I grew up sleeping with a fan most of the time because we didn't have air conditioning, and just got used to it to the point of needing the noise.  Now I have an oxygen concentrator and a vent, so I still have noise.  Can't sleep without it.

Now, however, during the daytime, I am learning to appreciate the quiet.  Part of it is having a 5 1/2 year old boy who actually talks more than I do.  The only thing moving faster than his feet is his mouth.  

But I think part of appreciating the silence is not being afraid of it.  Before I got sick, I had to fill every atom of space around me with something...noise, music, work, play, fun, people, and so on.  It was through the noise that I lost hearing that still, small voice.  I was so afraid of the silence and what it might bring....that I would have to own up to some inappropriate behavior.... That I would have to admit that I didn't know it all or have it all, that I couldn't DO it all.

"We chirp theories like chickadees because ignorance is a terrifying thing and we need the noise."  If we're talking and moving and doing and acting, we can't just "be."  If we're trying to figure everything out we don't have to live with the unknown, because the unknown is terrifying.

That's why people stay in situations that are HORRIBLE.  Because the familiar, whether good or damaging, is better than the unknown.  Well, today I challenge you to just BE. To embrace the silence.  To put aside the theories.  To stop trying to solve the world's problems... or even your own.

Just BE.  Listen.  Absorb.  Put down the remote, turn off the computer, take a deep breath, and just be.

Where Do They GET These People?

Oh goodness. I know I can't expect perfection from people...from anyone. I am far from perfect. But with today's unemployment rate what it is, you would think that EVERYONE would have qualified help.

I get a voicemail from my mail order pharmacy saying that they "couldn't process my order." Okay, first of all, I have like 10 scripts on file with them. How the heck am I supposed to know which one they mean? I even check the website and can't get any more information.

So I all the number the woman left me where "anyone who answered could help me." Mmm-hm.

I get the push one for English blah, blah, blah, and finally get to a human being. She mutters her perfunctory greeting and name, and asks how she may help me. I explain I got a voicemail with minimal information and that I was returning the call.

Her: What's your account number?

Okay, how the heck do I know?

Me: Is that the same number as my insurance number?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok, just a minute. {digging for my card}

Her: {hurumph} What's your name? {imagine attitude and a slight smacking of the lips.}

Me: Kerri Sweeris. S-w-e-e-r-i-s First name Kerri. K-e-r-r-i.
Her: Birth date?
Me: 1-4-71.
Her: 1971?
Me: {No, 1871, what the??} Yes, 1971

Her: Did you say T-e-r-i?
Me: No, Kerri. K as in kangaroo (I can never think of anything on the spot)---
Her: {interrupting} Last name V-i-n-e?

Me: {thinking, Really???} I found my card now, would that help?
Her: What's the number?"

So I read it off.
Her: {getting back to her "customer voice"} Oh, yes ma'am, your prescription can't be processed without prior auth.
Me: {again, thinking which freakin' prescription??} Okay, which one?

Her: I'll spell it. {rattles off very quickly}
Me: Um, could you spell the name of it a little slower please? {I didn't recognize anything but the last 6 letters or so}

Her: Of course, ma'am. {get ready for it} N as in Nancy, A as is Adam, M as in Mary, E as in Edward, C as in Charlie....{spells all out} and then X as in X-ray and a 24

So she goes through the whole thing like that, and this is what she spelled: nameclaritinx24
In NORMAL people language, that would be 24 hour Claritin.

Now, like I said, I don't expect everyone to know everything. But you'd think she would have realized that the N-A-M-E at the beginning was the word NAME??? As in the NAME of the medication?? Good Lord.

Oh my GOSH!!! And at least this one was American. I could see her shaking her head, rolling her eyes and hear her smacking her lips, but she spoke English. Not like the Indian people (IN India) who answer, and say their name is Joe or Sue or whatever.

With so many people looking for a job, you'd THINK they could up their game a little. Just sayin'. I have enough ignorance to deal with regarding my health just with the general public!!! How silly of me to expect SO much from someone answering the phone at a place that deals with all of my prescriptions! God forbid this woman was in charge of like, alerting customers to potential interactions between their drugs!

"Yes ma'am, I just called to let you know that your medications could interact. Call anyone at this number and they will be as ignorant as I am will be able to help you."

Help me right into a straight jacket!