Why Remembering Is Important

This June, I have been really hitting the MG Awareness thing HARD.  I think about it every day, I've been trying to post {nearly} every day, and I'm SO PROUD of all my MG friends and how they are spreading awareness as well.

Yesterday I posted part of my story...  I've been doing a lot of remembering these past few weeks:

In September of 2000 I was so ill. I could not walk more than 10 feet without resting. My skin was yellow. My face was void of any emotion. I couldn't breathe, I could sleep, I had panic attacks all the time.  My brain was so deprived of oxygen (from MG muscle weakness that had been ignored undiagnosed for 5 years), and the carbon dioxide levels in my blood were so high, there is no medical reason I should have survived. My aunt is a nurse, and she came right out and said, there is "no way, other than a miracle, that you were ALIVE at that point, let alone functional."

And that was the first of many miracles. While I do have SOME memory issues and I don't feel quite as sharp as I used to be, I don't have ANY real brain damage from all that lack of oxygen. Then in the hospital I got staph (MRSA) pneumonia...the list goes on and on.

While it is difficult to relive the painful parts of my past, I've been thinking all day about the following Scripture passage:

"Now the Jordan is at flood stage all...during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge,the water from upstream stopped flowing....while the water flowing down...was completely cut off.

So the people crossed over opposite Jericho. The priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan, while all Israel passed by until the whole nation had completed the crossing on dry ground. When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight"....

Joshua...said to them...'each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.'"
Joshua 3:15-4:7

I NEED to remember the bad, scary times. That is a HUGE part of my testimony! God didn't tell Joshua to have them take stones from one side of the Jordan or the other, He told them to take the stones from the middle of the Jordan. From the exact place where God had performed the miracle that saved their lives, again (they had already crossed the Red Sea on dry ground). 

In a way, my trach is my pile of rocks. People see me today and don't really understand how I ever could have been that sick. But then they see the trach, and ask.... Other than my husband, family, and a few friends (and my old friends on facebook!) very few people in my life NOW know what I have been through. 

We have to talk (or in this case write) about the things God has done in our lives, or how will anyone know what He has done? I mean, people can read the Bible and learn about God, all the things He's done and the miracles Jesus performed, but NOTHING speaks to the power of God more than a personal story. 

Some folks don't think that God still does miracles today...I would like to challenge that theory, as I am living proof He does!  Some think the Bible is a nice story, even a good history book, but don't REALLY understand that God is alive TODAY!

We MUST remember. We cannot forget.  It happened for a REASON.  And that reason might just be the next person that comes into your life.  How we live with bad circumstances screams louder than anything we may say. 

Meaningless, Meaningless...

This post may be too "in your face" for some people, but for that I will not apologize.

"Remember your Creator
   in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
   and the years approach when you will say,
   “I find no pleasure in them”—

before the sun and the light
   and the moon and the stars grow dark,
   and the clouds return after the rain;

when the keepers of the house tremble,
   and the strong men stoop...

Now all has been heard;
   here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
   for this is the duty of all mankind.

For God will bring every deed into judgment,
   including every hidden thing,
   whether it is good or evil." 

Ecclesiastes 12:1-3, 13, 14

Yesterday was a horrible day.  A day where everything felt meaningless.  Why?  Because in the space of about 45 minutes, I found out that a friend of mine who lives in Florida and was recently diagnosed with MG, lost her son unexpectedly Monday morning.  At the ripe old age of 20.  A mom with MG buries her oldest son.

Then, minutes later I read that a man I have known (via my MG groups on facebook) for many years died suddenly yesterday in the early hours of the morning.  He had MG, but he didn't die from it.  He was wheelchair bound, and had many health issues that come along with limited mobility. He went into the hospital on Monday for a "stomach virus," and at 3:30 yesterday morning, he was given meds for nausea and his heart rate when crazy and he died.  He LOVED his wife and children, and especially his grandchildren.  He was ALWAYS doing research about MG and trying to help others.

I will not lie, there were times that Steven and I butted heads....he could be a bit...well....intense. (As can I). Perhaps because his intellect superseded his social grace.  But he loved the Lord, and is in heaven now, free from the chair, the pain, the sorrow, the burdens of this world.  And he always tried to be positive.  This was one of his last posts on facebook:

"Never forget about the power of smiling and keeping a positive attitude. Don't let the shadows of yesterday spoil the sunshine of tomorrow. Always continue to smile each day because life is simply way too short to cry about anything that's worthless. Let everyone know that today you're a lot stronger than you were yesterday. Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears. Use your smile to change this world. Don't let this world change your smile."

I love that attitude.  It's not easy, to be sure. But Steven always remember what was TRULY important in this world.

And then this morning, another friend who lost her husband to MG a few months ago posted this:

Yup, I told you this post may be too "in your face" for some.  But you know what?  Deal with it.  There are so many people in this world that need YOU.  They need people to let them know they have value and meaning and purpose.  They need to feel loved and remembered. They need to know they haven't been forgotten.

Being disabled and not being able to do what I want, go where I want, help whom I'd like to...well, it sucks. Plain and simple.  I'm tired of "out of sight, out of mind."  I've been guilty of it myself, many times I'm sure.  But read the picture again.  "Don't come visit me after I die...I needed you when I was alive."

Those are powerful words.  Powerful. But truer words I have never seen.  Don't wait til the funeral to make your appearance.  Someone needs you NOW.  Someone like you.  Someone like Steven.  

Someone like me.

Remembering

You know how you start hearing from every area about one particular thing, and you KNOW God is trying to tell you something? Well, that’s been me the last few days, folks. I think God is reminding ME, as well as wanting to share with lots of you out there, that we need to remember Him. We need to remember all the good God has done in our lives.

Joanna and I are doing Me, Myself and Lies, a Bible study by Jennifer Rothschild. This week has been about remembering.

Yesterday I was blessed to have an amazing angel (see previous post) come and clean my house, for free, someone I had just met when she walked through my door…just because she loves to serve God, and God wanted to bless me through friends. She asked me to tell her my story, and I was remembering all the things God saved me from while I was really, really ill.

I receive Chronic Illness Devotionals in my email every day, and guess what yesterday’s was? You got it: remembering the good God has done.

If you have read this blog long, you know my favorite book on the planet (besides my Bible) is my Synonym Finder. I’m a word nerd. So of course, I had to look up every synonym for “remember.” Here are a few of my favorites: recall, recollect, call to mind, have at the tip of your tongue, keep in mind, bear in mind, be aware of, review, go over, memorize, have by heart.

Wow. Can you imagine if we truly did this? If we made a list of all the good God has done…Well, we couldn’t even make a list that long! But then, to really remember. To call to mind. To go over. To memorize. To have by heart.

One of my favorite Scripture stories is of God leading the Israelites through the Jordan River. Not to mention it was at flood stage! He told Joshua to take 12 stones out of the MIDDLE of the Jordan, and build a memorial as to what God had done there. That way, when their children asked, they could explain how God had saved them once again.

Do you have a memorial? Do you have any physical reminders of God’s goodness? I encourage you to find one. For many, it can be photos… I have many photos from when I was ill, and to look back and see how far God has brought me, well, it’s just amazing.

For some, it’s something that may have caused them physical injury or helped them heal: a cast, a piece of metal; for soldiers, maybe shrapnel or a bullet. Something that you can show your children and say, “This is just one way God has done good for me.”

Even in the BAD times, God is working for our benefit. I know if you are going through something right now that may be reallllly tough to believe. But I am telling you from experience! I have been fighting myasthenia for 14 years now. Nine years ago I should have died. More than once. My ENTIRE life has changed. I’m on disability. I can’t work. I didn’t think I could have children (see Jacob, miracle child!). My independence is virtually gone. I have lost numerous people in my life whom I thought were friends. I am judged constantly because I don’t look like I’m dying. I have a trach through which I breathe.

And yet, I wouldn’t trade any of it, because God has done so much in my life since then. I know Him better, although I still have a loooong way to go! I love more deeply, more easily, I forgive MUCH more easily, I’m not nearly as impatient as I used to be. Life is precious. I don’t get angry like I used to. Things that used to bother me just roll off me like water off a ducks back. Now, I’m not saying nothing ever gets to me, because it surely does. There are things that will always be wrong and unjust, and that will never change.

But things like traffic jams, construction delays, changes in plans (which used to send me over the edge), unexpected small problems, what to eat and what to wear…it’s like, who cares? The God of the Universe has reached into my soul to change me for the better. Whatever I have to deal with I will, because I wouldn’t have missed that for the world.

“Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits!” Psalm 103:2

Will you share a remembrance of what God has done in your life?