The Rest Of The Story

I realized I never finished my new computer saga... You can read the first part here if you missed it. 

So I finally get my computer home, set up, working, and get ready to go online. {Sigh of happiness}.  I put my USB thingy in (I'm sure it has a technical name, but it goes into a USB port, it's an internet connection, and that's about all I know), load the disc in my super-cool-on-the-side-of-my-monitor/computer-disc reader, and install the VZAccess Manager.  Goes off without a hitch.

Then, I go to sign on to the internet.

{crickets}

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  So I call Verizon, and TRY to remain calm, because they have no idea what I've been through already.  I push the button for technical support.  Not customer service, not sales, tech support. And so when the woman answers (after being on hold for 5 minutes) I ASSUME she is in tech support, and we start troubleshooting the problem.  After talking with her on the phone for TEN minutes, she says, "Okay, I'm going to send you over to tech support."

I'm FUMING.  I HATE it when people do that.  They give customer service a chart to go through before you really get to tech support.  What, am I , an idiot? Well, in this case, yes! That's why I need tech support not customer service!

So the woman puts me on hold, and I wait for tech support.  She goes to connect me, and I get DIS-connected.  My blood pressure has NOT fared well these last few weeks.

So I call back.  This time I get right through to tech support because I "calmly" explain that I was disconnected.  So I get Mr. Rogers on the other end.  I'm like, I need tech help, not a lesson in shoe-tying.  So we go through the whole story again, and he finally tells me that the version I have isn't going to work, and I need a new disc.

Of COURSE, this is the 4th of July, but he says he will send it 2-day priority, so I'm thinking I'll get it Saturday at the latest.  Doug said it would be Monday before I get it.  UNreal.  I once again haul old Old Faithful Laptop.  {sigh}

So on Monday, sure enough, the disc comes in the mail.  I go to my computer, install the disc, go online....NOTHING.

Yes, I am serious.  Even I can't make this crap up.

So I call Verizon.  Same thing.  Customer service, pretending to be tech support.  At least this time I don't get disconnected.  The girl I talked to so was nice, and patient, and it took 45 minutes, but hang it all, we did it.  We were BOTH cracking up by the end of the call.  The kind of loopy, way too tired, over the edge giggly laughing.

SO.....after after 33 days, countless hours of banging my head on the wall, 2 trips to Best Buy (one in 104 degree weather), hours on the phone with "customer service", tech support, and who knows what else...

And I FINALLY. Have. My. New. Working. Computer.

{cue the heavens opening up and start the Hallelujah chorus!}

My Computer

Okay.  So if you follow my blog, you know that in THIS post, my husband told me if I put a snake around my neck and got photgraphic proof, he would buy my anything I wanted.  ANYTHING.  So I said, "Anything???"  HOT DOG a new computer! 

So.  I did the deed, and I got my reward.  But it was not without MANY hurdles, the LEAST of which, IF you can imagine, was the snake!

I bought my computer on June 6.  Yes, that's 34 days ago.  When I got it home, we were preparing for the MG Walk so I didn't set it up yet, because I was busy making jewelry.  SO.  The day I decided to open the computer, I had to muscle it out of the box because Doug was taking a snooze.  And it was HEAVY.  So I put away all my laptop stuff, and wrestled this behemoth (comparatively) out of its box with all of its packing material.

I finally get it all up and plugged in and all that good stuff, and turn it on.  Waiting for the lovely tilt and touch screen to light up with the Windows thingy.

{crickets}

I got an error message saying the boot disk wouldn't load.  Now, as you know, I am about as tech savvy as a potato, so that meant nothing to me.  I call the Geek Squad, because I bought "black tie" protection for my precious new computer.

A newbie on the squad told me I had to bring it back, because it was most likely a manufacturer's defect.  I'm like, "I live over an hour away, and it's not exactly easy for me to get out...don't I have any other options?  I have "black tie" protection...doesn't that mean you come out and fix it?"

"Um, no ma'am, you didn't purchase that option."
Me: "Well of course I didn't."

So.  I called back to talk to a manager and got some kid.  After telling him the whole story, and that I live an hour away, and that I have MG and it's really hard for me to get out, he puts me on hold, comes back a few minutes later and says, "Okay.  We're going to ship one to you.  You'll have to put the old one back in the box that the new one comes in, and send it back so you won't be charged twice."

Me: "You pay for shipping it back, correct?"
Dude:  "Yes.  I just want you to know, we don't normally do this.  This is really an exception."
Me:  "Well, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Heaven forbid your giant conglomerate be inconvenienced when I could just wait for my husband to come home, pack up my cranky child, my MG self, and spend $30.00 on gas driving back and forth to get a new computer to switch out for the OTHER new computer I bought from YOU that should WORK but doesn't through no fault of my own."

No, I didn't really say that.  But I wanted to!

The saga continues.  So THEN, he says it will be here between June 20-25.  Okay, annoying, but my other computer at least still works.  So the 25th comes and goes.  I call the customer service number, and ask them when I will be receiving my computer.

Woman with nasally voice: "Is Douglas there?"
Me:  "No, he's at work."  Duh.
Nasal woman:  "Is there any way you can call him or do a conference call with him or something?"
Me:  thinking, yah, let me just activate my wonder twin powers and send him a telepathic message. "No.  There is not."
Nasal woman:  "Well I'm sorry ma'am, but I cannot discuss this account with you because Douglas's name is on the account."
Me:  "DOUGLAS is my husband, and it's MY comptuer!"
Nasal woman:  "I'm sorry ma'am, but we can only talk to Douglas."
Me: AAAAHhhhhhhhhhhh!  "Fine, he will call you."  Click

So I call Doug, and he calls them, and they tell him this particular computer is on backorder and they have NO IDEA when it will be in. (Thank GOD they didn't tell me that....they might have compromised national security!)  M'k.  I'm NOT happy.  And all the emails from Best Buy telling me to enjoy my new computer are NOT helping.

Then they sent me a survey about my recent purchase.  Mmmmuuu haahhhahhahahahaha.  THAT was fun.  I'm like, "Oh, you mean the 25 pound paperweight sitting in a box on my floor?  It's a fantastic paperweight, but a crappy computer!"

SO FINALLY, I decide to just take the stupid thing back to the store, on July 4th, when Doug is off work, and my parents can watch Jacob, AND it's 104 degrees.  (Note to self:  next time something is broken, take. it. back. immediately.  Do. not. pass. go.  Do. not. collect. $200.00.)

We pack everyone and everything, including my walker, because I know I won't be able to walk through the parking lot and then the store without it.  Our intent was to return the computer and look for something different since apparently there was not one single Best Buy store in the country that had the same computer since it was on back order indefinitely.  Logical conclusion, yes?

Not so much.  Customer service was slammed and of course they had one girl working there.  I immediately asked to speak to a manager.  It must have been the crazed look in my eye, the gravel in my voice...or maybe the slur and drool dripping down my chin, but regardless, she didn't hesitate.

So this guy comes out.  Imagine Peter Brady in need of a haircut, light hair, and 30 pounds heavier.  I'm like, REALLY?

So I tell him the whoooooole story.  He looks at his computer, and VERY nonchalantly says, "Oh we have one right here.  In fact, it looks like we have four."

Me, jaw dropping, hand hitting the counter, voice raising completely of its own volition:  "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????"

Peter Brady in a little sing songy voice: "Nope, it says right here we have 4.  I'll go check.  Did you want to just swap it out then?"

Me, still in utter shock, amazement, and increasing irritation: "Sure {Peter Brady} let's just swap it out."

He comes back, with MY SAME COMPUTER, and I say, "I'm not moving until you show me this one works."

Peter Brady: "No problem, come right over here."

Mr. Geek Squad hooks it up, it runs through the beginning stages, and Mr. Geek helps others while checking back on my computer every couple of seconds.  It gets to the screen where you "name" your computer.  Mr. Peter Brady says, "Well, it looks good to me."

I say, "I'll wait until HE {pointing to Mr. Geek} tells me that."

Peter Brady: "Well, I'm glad we could get this swapped out for you so easily."

Oh no you did not just say that!!!

I lost it.  I mean lost it.  The only thing that made me more angry than what he said is that when I get REALLY angry I cry.  Which makes me even MORE angry.

I'm like, "Really?  That's it?  No, 'sorry for your inconvenience, what can we do to make it up to you?'  No, 'thanks for your customer loyalty even though we FUBAR'ed big time?'  No, 'here's a $20.00 gift card for your trouble??'  Look at me!   {By now I'm SITTING on my walker because I can't even stand up}  Do you think it's easy for me to get out?  I have a neuro muscular disease that gets worse with stress and heat, both of which are in HIGH quantities today. THIS was not EASY for me to get out here to return a BRAND NEW computer that should've worked in the first place!"

Peter Brady: "Well, what do you want?"

Me, incredulous, shaking my head, "Seriously?  I don't know, a gift card?  Money for the gas it took to come out here and back AGAIN to get something that should have worked in the first place?"

I was SO beyond angry and irritated that HE actually asked ME what I wanted.  Whatever.  I ended up getting the second season of House on DVD.  I was still so dang pissed off.  UNreal.

NO ONE values customer service, customer loyalty...I was just another number with an "easy" fix.  He probably blogged about this totally drama-filled experience with the crazy lady with a walker.

{Sigh.}  Nothing is truly easy in this life.

There's more....but my hands are about to fall off, so stay tuned....