Catching Up

I have had the craziest year.  Seriously.  Even before that. I think it started in November with the first round of pneumonia...coughing up blood... I remember I started the year off with a bang by getting a chest x-ray on my birthday.  I've been on antibiotics more this year than I have in the last 3.  I can only take one that I know of, so here's hoping my body doesn't change its mind again!!

I've had trach troubles, tummy trouble, taking care of a sick boy while having 2 wonderful visitors (THE highlight of my year)... And my office is STILL CLEAN!!  Whoooooo!

But it gets downright discouraging!  My goodness.  It's been one thing after another.  Plasmaphersis, CT scans, nodules in lungs, pneumonia, pseudomonas, strep pneumonia....THEN after taking care of a sick boy, I got to take care of a sick boy AND a sick husband, and then I got it after all of that!

Finally had my ENT appointment yesterday, and he's thinking a longer trach tube will do the trick.  Right now my natural, God-given trachea is flexing its muscle memory and trying to spit the dang thing out.  That's why I can't breathe half the time....because I'm breathing through an opening about the size of 2 1/2 coffee stirrers.  (Why, yes, I did measure...)

I'm behind on my writing, I'm behind on homeschooling, I'm behind on this 40 day prayer thingy I'm doing with Tracy...I just feel like throwing in the towel sometimes!  It's like, man, can I just catch a break or what???

Where is that Calgon when you need it??

However.  Because I serve a Living God, and because so many of my friends, my family, my family's friends, have been praying for me (unceasingly I suspect!) I am still here, I'm still kickin' (albeit weakly)...and I am thanking God for all the amazing things in my life.

A totally wonderful pick me up in the form of an unexpected card in the mail.

A totally wonderful (actually TWO) packages from a wonderful blogger friend, that was so gracious and undeserved.

An awesome visit from 2 precious college friends. 

A clean office.

Someone sending a friend of mine money so I could get my whole house cleaned TWICE!

There really is so much to be thankful for.  I DO have a lot going on health wise.  But I also have so many blessings in my life.  So today, let's all try to focus on the positive.  Even if it's that you're still alive.  Because I would miss you if you were gone.

And The Hits Keep Coming

So I'm at the doctor yesterday waiting for them to determine what kind of pain meds to give me while I'm waiting to get into the pain clinic (need referral, evaluation, blah blah blah...but it will be worth it because this place has gotten very high marks from a good friend with the same issues as me.  Well, the same physical issues...I don't think she's quite as CRAZY as I am....).

The phone rings, obviously I don't answer.  When the nurse leaves the room, I check my voicemail.  It's very broken up because I don't have a very good signal.  All I hear is "CT scan, 12:45 the same day you see Dr. Lovy."  And I'm like, WHAT????

I was supposed to have plasmapheresis on Wednesday (tomorrow) then see Dr. Lovy.  Well, I called his office, and they said I need to come in at 12:15 for a 12:45 CT scan of my lungs, because the radiologist saw a nodule of some type in the bottom of one of my lungs on the chest x-ray I had done Friday.  So I have to have a CT with contrast tomorrow, and then Dr. Lovy will tell me what's going on at my appointment.  This is the SAME sequence of events as what happened to my dad: he got pneumonia, had a follow up chest x-ray, they saw a spot, he had a CT scan, and ended up with cancer. 

The bleeding from the trach trauma had stopped for about a day or two, and now I am coughing up blood again like I did when I had pneumonia.  My chest doesn't hurt though...so I don't know. I'm just getting really tired of fighting this fight.  Really.  Really.  Tired.

Now I KNOW the likelihood of the same thing that happened to my dad happening to me is minute to say the least, but yeah, I'm a little freaked out.  Trying not to panic....but even though I THINK I'm not worried about it, I didn't fall asleep last night until 3AM.  I was tired....heck, I was exhausted....but I couldn't sleep.  Took another pain pill, and got about 5 hours.  Now I have to go to the dentist today to have a tooth drilled and rebuilt. Can't afford the crown part til next year.

The only thing that's helping me survive right this minute (other than the grace of God and the prayers of many, many friends) is that the pain pills the doc gave me yesterday are helping, so I'm not in ridiculous pain anymore.  {sigh}

Anyway.  I had appointments for Thursday and Friday this week too, but I cancelled them.  Too much.  I can't deal with it all right now.

So if you could keep me in your prayers, I would appreciate it.

Pneumonia

Okay.  Guess what I got for Christmas?
Yup.  Pneumonia.  Might be lying low for a few days.
Don't forget to enter the drawing from my 800th post!
I'll be back.
Merry Christmas!